CLIPPINGS.

Waikato Times, Volume XXII, Issue 1805, 31 January 1884, Page 3

CLIPPINGS.

If the doctor orders bark, has not the I patient a right to growl ? With some folks, what you wear I counts for more than what you are. Tourcsuknieff's latest litei ary project was of a hook that should condemn the anti-Semitic feeling in Russia. A littlk hoy went to his first tea pai fey w hen four years and tluee months old. Upon his hostess asking him how lie liked his tea he replied : " It is very nice, but it tastes very much of the water." ' Mk Tennyson's arrangement with Mebbis Keiran Paul, Tench and Co. for the publication of his works came to an end on Doc. 31. It is arranged that Messrs Macmillan will for the tuture be the Laureate's publisbfis. Spanish literature has suffered a loss in the recent death of Angela Grassi, one of the most celebiated modern novelists, whose stones and plays are widely known and appreciated. Herd Book in N.3.W.--Tt has been vcbolved to start a herd-book for daiiy I stock in New South Wales The qualifi cation for entiy is that a cow must gi\e 121b of butter, or 3521b of milk per week. Tiie progeny, male and female, of all such cows may be registered, as may also any bull, four of -whose piogeny have stood the test. The Chi istian Million is a new illustrated weekly religious journal, the first number of which possesses, seveial distinctive and attractive featuies, -which give to it a unique character. There are numerous illustrations drawn and eugia\ed by leading London artists, aftei the style of those so well known in connection with the British Workman. The literary contents aie of a varied and popular character, so as to interest a)) classes, and at the same time the tone is highly moial and leliuious. At the low puce of a penny it deceives popularity. Lkttkk.s received from Smyrna contain details of a fiightful accident which had occuied on board the Monatch. The squadron had completed the usual routine drill, and the men were oidered to loosen sails to diy. Thomas Foid an able seaman, was engaged on his duty in the Monarch, and was coming down from aloffc, when he missed his hold, fell fiom the mamtopma.st ligginir, and pitched on the bei thing of the ship's side. The force of the fall was so great that the poor fellow was cut completely m two, one pait of his body falling on board, and the remainder into the sea. This was iccovcied, and the deceased was buried on the following day with na\ aI honours. A Xi vrrcKY CtKvtli m v\, on bib deathbed, made a will, in which he bequeathed to his wife, who was enceinte, in case she should be dchveied of a daughter, one-half of his estate, the othe\ halt to such daughter ; but in ca&e the infant was a son, one- third was to go to the and twothiuls to such son. Shoitly after the testator's, death, the wife gave biith to twins — a boy and girl. The question now puzzling the lav>yeisis : How shall the e&tate be divided ? Pno wife claims one-half the estate because she had a daughter ; the daughtei'fe guardian claims one half the estate under the will ; and the pi" a than of the son \ow s he -\\ ill not accept less than two thirds of the estate The matter is now pending in the Hickman Ciicuit Couit. A Monument ro MuKnhß.— On Oct. (5, in the pie&encc of the Empeior, the Empiess. and all the Impel ial Family, the foundation stone of the; C.vthedial of the liesnucetion which is to be erected on the spot where Alexander 11. fell, mnrdcied by the Nihilists. The chinch will be so coustiucted that the altar will cover the spot stained with the Imperial blood It may appeal somewhat strange, icmaiks a correspondent, to eiect a cathedral in lemembiance of such a foul net as tint of March 1, foi such a thing is done in geneial to commemorate some good oi gloi ions action. Besides, the site is not at all fa\ oui able for the purpose, being on the canal. It would have been much better to erect the dnirch m another place, in commemoration of the hbeiator's great and good reforms, not in commetnoiation of his hoirible death. But those consultations not having presented themselves to the minds of those coiici rned in this affair, it has been decided to build the cathedral there, to the gi eat delight of the Nihilists, who consider it as a monument ot their triumph, an everlasting gloiitication of their atiocious deed. Russian JryriCß. — The Peter.sburger Heiald, a Geinian paper published in the Russian capital, is lesponsible for this story :— " A peasant in a village of Southern Russia was accused of theft. The accused kept out of the way, hut sent an amoeate to plead his cause befoio the local judicial magnate. The 1 iwyer employed all his eloquence to convince the judge that his client was innocent ; but his cle\ cr appeal had no effect upon the ma»istiate, who knew the accused, and had probably condemned him before the details of the ca<-e. lie gave the sentence — fi\e-and-twenty blows with a lod. The village was informed that the criminal could not be found. 'Never mind,' he observed ; ' Justice must he,ve its course. As the criminal is not in our hands, we deciee that his advocate shall receive the flogging. The man who has the face to defend such a iascal cle&eives to be punished.' The lawyer in vain protested against the illegality, the absuidity, and utter injustice of the monstrous sentence. The loss of his time and his fees, he contended, would be quite sufficient punishment. But the stiff old Russian Solomon was inexorable, and the lawyer was actually seized, bound, and leceived the twenty five strokes, as the repiesentati\e of the absent criminal." Such a story seems incredible, but a journal published in the capital would scarcely dare to invent it, aud, so far as we know, it has not jet been contradicted. Tailors ix Uniform —For many yeai s the War Office people stoutly opposed the popular view that a tailor is only the ninth part ot a man. The tailors who enlisted had, like other re1 emits, to be up to tin full standaid in height and chest mcasuiemenc. The icj suit was that some of the smartest men ! in Her Majesty's land forces were sartorial artists. Indeed, we remember one regiment — indifferently known as the "dirty 50th," or the "blind half hundred " — where discipline was seriously endangered when Jock M'Farintosh got an exti a nobbier of rum. Jock was the handiest tailor in the corps. Of course if; was ridiculous to see a needle in the hands of a man that could have humped a plough or up-ended a tramcar ; but he was proud of his profession, and the man that insulted a tailor in his presence was never fit for much beyond a corner bed in a>i incut * able asylum for the remainder ot his life. By the number and character of the cases which went to the regimental hospital in the morning, the amount of grog Jock had had the night before could always be roughly estimated. When only ten or a do?en men were seen limping across the square, with their noses in slings, and their uniform scarcely sufficient for conventional requirements, Jock had only had a pint or so of alcohol, and only used his hands. But when the whole of No. 5 company was observed trailing in Indian file towards the infirmary, with a couple of ambulance waggons behind to pick np the " lame ducks," you could tell that Jock had been drinking, that he had used his goose, and that he was at present tied with a hawser to a field-gun outside the guard-room. And this brings us back to the War Office authorities. By a late circular it has been decided that tailors two inches below the regulation height, and two inches short of the standard chest measurement, may be enlisted. Were Jock M'Farintoßh alive now, instead of being coiled cosily under the daisies ten feet below the earthworks at Rangiriri, with the dozen Maoris he had brained to keep him company, this refleo-). tion on the professipn he loved would Ji&ve, broken Uis proud hesrt, ,

Ja/mfs IPayn is to print a aeries" of* " Litciary Recollections" in the pages of the Coruhill Magazine. " There's no place like home !" repeated Mr. Henpeck, looking at a motto, and he heartily added : " I'm glad there isn't." Avexohange tells of a Chicago man who, in a nash moment, told h s girl that if sly) would hang up her stocking on hallov» Eve he would fill it with something nice. When he saw her stocking he was? undecided whether to get iuto it hi nisei £ or buy her a sewing-machine. Wiiiki: thiity couple were spooning on the poich of a Long Branch hotel the other night, some \u eked M'letuh stuck Ins heacf around the corner and bhouted, " Look out ! here comes your husband !" Immediately twenty women uttered suppiessed sluieks, and, aiising, fled to their looms." " Men often jump at conclusions," says the old proverb. So do dogs. We saw a dog jump at the conclusion of a cat, which Mas sticking through the opening of a partJy closed door, and it made more distin banco than a church scandal. It is said that a young lady can never whistle in the presence of her lover. The reason is obvious ; he dosen't give her a chance. When she gets her lips in a position for whistling something else always occurs. " John nik" said the teacher, " a lie can be acted as well as told. Now if your father was to put sand in his hiigar, and sell it, he would be acting a lie and doing very wrong." " That's what mother told him," said Johnnie, impetuously, " and he said he didn't care." Tiik Panama Canal is likely to be consti noted with locks after all, in spite of Connt 'le Lesseps' determination to the contidiy. IIi& own oveiseer of the woiks has ascertained that there is a very considerable tide in the Pacific, although the tide in the Gulf of Mexico is of little account. It so happens, moreover, that when it is low water at one end it is high water at the other. The consequence will be, if there is no lock, that theie will be a current of from five to six knots an hour in the canal, and to render the channel available at all times of the tide it will be necessary to increase its depth by twenty feet. The entire expense will be enormous, and far in excess of what a couple of locks would cost. Tin; King Incognito —The visit of the King of Spain to Paris (writes the Whitehall Review) seems to have produced one and only one, episode which was not displeasing. On the Sunday aftei his anival, so the story goes, King Alfonso ventured to take a mild constitutional on one of the boulevards, in company with General Blanco. The King paused at a kiosk to buy the morning's papers. The kiosk woman at once tb) »st a copy of Le Roi Uhlan into his band^. " Read that she haul; "it is vciy amusing ; all about the Kuift of Spam," •' That King of Spain," Alfonso replied, " must be lather a dismal indnidual.'' " JSTot at all, not at all," the mOl fchy woman answered, quite unconscious of the personality ot her purchaser. " He is a veiy good looking j'Oiing fellow indeed ; I saw him pass b\ jesteiday." The Kin 3 immediately bouyht the copy of Le Roi Uhlan, and 1 tin mod to the Embassy to tell, with gieat uood humour, the only event of his visit on which good humour could vpiy itadily be bestowed. Tub Clyimant.— The Claimant has wntten a letter, which, says a London contempoMiy, is latlier sensational li 0111 the '" penny dieadful " point of \ lew, and is not do\ oid ot humour. He says that he pt.iys nightly for the rest of the &oul of the late Mr Guildford Onslow, and adds—" Although the piayer of a sinner, it may now be of moie use to him than Mr Gladstone's promised baionetcy would be." Well, it may be admitted that a baronetcy would not be of any use whate\ er te Hie soul of the deceased gentleman, and consequently, that the piayeis of the giateful con\icfc cannofc be lesb useful ; bat beyond that it is only permissible to expiess a hope that the repose of the soul of the deceased does not depend upon the nightly prayer of Arthur Oiton. The Claimant thinks that tineefoui tins of the people are in his fa\our, but, so fat* as Mr Gladstone and his colleagues aie concerned, that does not help him, " because the opinion of two or thiee Court fa vouiitcs would weigh down the lot." The Government which packed a jury to comicfc an innocent man "may still connive at something worse;" and the letter thus concludes: — "I have myself less confidence in them than I should hare in being in company with the worst criminals here in a lonely place with a thousand pounds in my belt, and should anything happen to me in the next twelve months, remember the tergiversation practised at these places, and believe none of them. " We do not know exactly what that means, but it seems to suggest Mr Gladstone and his colleagues having 61 ton poisoned to oblige two or three Court fcivoiuites.