CLIPPINGS

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1781, 4 December 1883, Page 3

CLIPPINGS

Wl'lY are baMcs 1 i 1c •* new fl mncl ?— Be cause they shrink from washing. - 1 Hk«jx of Troy was tl»o hist wom-in who wanted to tro to Pans, and Lmvo Ih-i husband at homo. A KMRf's heart is like an otnmbub — it always has room for one mote. GlltLS should t ememher, " Whoieiijno: niu't! is tiliss. "ti& tolly to 1101 10 wucs To cure deafness in a man, begin to \vhi«ner to linn about a chance to make his fortune. ir is bti[iuosed tint thr reason why tie aMthctcs admiie tlio stock .so (iiithubiasti cally is because it can stainl on one Icy. for hours at a stretch, and look as thoug i it never had an idea in its head. " Augustus dbar," s.nd s>lu-, tendoth pushing him from her, aa the moonlight flooded the bay window, where they were standing, "I think you had bettei try so other hair dye — your moustache tastes like turpentine." " My jjeui," said a fond wife, " wheu we were engaged I always slept with your last letter under my pillow.'" " And I," murmured her husband, " often went to sleep over your luttcis." A tikhi) mother who had been occupied nil day with an active and very tiouble some boy, as she sat down in the evening and though of the numberless details in which her strength had gone, said, " After all, it is a day towards the making of a man." A ckrtun baionet w;is once at n dinner-party of a rather pietuntious character, where the men from the stable had evidently been pleased into the service of the dining loom, and a goo<l deal of clumsiness and confusion m the waiting wa* the consequence. At length a tieinendous smash was heard justoiit&ide the door. The hostess ha'f jumped out of her chair ; the host looked savage ; but the baionet tjuietly lcmaiked to hi neighbour, " It's only the coachman j going out with the bicaU!" A MEMUiiioF Congicss fioin Hie il'\u West who was invited to a dinner] at Washington i* now telliusr hi-, constituents a'l about it. ' Time v. a-nt any tiling o*i the table when I <iot th( iv," he says, '' but some foilo and stoi.j and brieky-biace. Picsently th> y liiouy'it m some soup. As [ didn't >cc notluu' uKe, I thought I'd eat all the s-oup f cmld, thonah isonp is a mighty pool dinnei ti, invite a fellei 1 to. So 1 was helped fo'ii times : and then eune on the iines>t dinner I ever see, and tluic I sot, ' gioans he, " chock tull ot soup ! ' "Aie the internal leoti of jont daughters ejes of exactly siuilar strength '/" asked a Boston school-maim of a pupil's niotlici " I mean, ' she continued, as she taw a look of \a^ue wonder overspreading the tace of the woman, wlio had never homl of Conccid, ''aie botli c\a> equally h^peiopic, or has she used tlw ciliaiy muscle too inneh ?'' The woman lose Deicily. "Hannah Jane squints, if that's what you'ie driving at,"' biie eaid, indignantly ; "but slie's got sense enough to say wh.it she means, and 1 won't leave her here to be m ide a tool of ; ' and she donned out with her ofNpuug, while the, te.ithei explained to the school tli it squint nii-ans a "convexity of the lens ot the opt <, organs ' — American Pap r. Old-I'wuonld flint K)ck-t,'iin> no '-til! iridniitiKtuied in li.niiing'i un The} an the old Qucun Anni' lo'iu a. id Miionlnbirrelled kind, lemembeied by oui oldest hnntei->. The Irst lilt i would lie to lan^h at the notion ot m.inulai lui'ii^ fin t lo ks at this hour of the day ; but the 15 r i)Ui>«l> mi niaki i ate Iniinng out lujjc quantities ot them, winch find uady sale, ns they aie much nune adapteil to ill-? jungles and plains of Afiica than any fancy detonator or bieech lodei Flints can be found eveiywheic almost ; and one will la->t fo. 1 a campaign ; but once get out of caps in Afiiui and your fancy gun is no bett >i than the staff of a gorilla. Diuini,' all Hie yea is of "new guns" Birmingham has been silently and piotitably supplying this old time tiade. Cniuors comments by a judge, even in the picscni-e of tlio pusonei, though extiemely jaie, aie not unpiccc >1( nted. j\lr Justice Maule once addicsbuJ a phenomenon of innocence in a smock frock in the following wuids-- " l'n--onei at the bar, join ootin^l thinks ■v. on mnoeonl; tho eoui^el for the piOaC'ul'on thinks yo>» liinoeint; f think ;\<hi innocent. 15ut a jiu > oi ynu own ioiiutiyuien, in the e\cici->e ot such eommonsenbe as they possess uhith doc-, not ecein to be much, ha\c found jou '{.'uiltv',' and it lcmai 1 .-. Hi it pass upon you the sentence ot tin; law That sentence ij that you l)e k»pt in impiisonment for one day, and, a-, that day was yesti.id.iy, jou may now go about your business.'' The unfoituna'e uistic, rather soiled, went aboat his business but thought that law wasan uncominonlj', puzzling business. An anuuing story comes from Simla, ivhich shews the stienuous opposition of the majoiityof Ansilo-Indians to the passins? of the llbeit Bill is not without a cause. Tiencheiy And cunning seem to be inseparable fiom the native character, and manellona is the ingenuity with Which ou all occasion; the Ilimloos sue- j ceed in eliciting their Euiop?an employers. It id a well known tact that the greatest cue has lo lie taken in the holding of ci'inpetiuv c examinations, as it is the aninliic eu-.t'jm ot the native pimteis to stial l >pin of the questions and sill tli"in befou liand to the < andi dates. On a lecent occasion one ot til" exaiuineis detei mined that lie would prevent tin-.: and at ending!)- he we'it to the tiouble a id r \pcnsc t/f hay ing hi-i question-* lithoyiajjbed ]J.> and watched the piepaiatioiii of the slom ; he saw all the linpieiSion^ stiiick oil. counted them luimcli, toi>n the puntui out of the loom with him. and locked the door. And yet copies weie Mild at a hi pee each that niyht to the .students The lithogiaphci woieawluto suit and betoie bu lett the loom lio "-at foi a moment on the hfcoue ! ]?FRVI:CrLY lill'lUTfAl, — TIIPK I hid been some difliculty expeueuced in obtfiininpf ,i jmj', and the cmut was getting tiled ot Hie tediou-. pioeeeding> "Call the nextjmoi, Mi. Clcik, ' "-aid l)i« sr/lit'itoi, for tho hiuidndtli tm/e The cleik called out the man, M\d an old ; man with a honest t.iee and a suit ot blue jean clothes lose up in Ins place, and the solicitor askt d the following eustqnmiy question^ •— ' Have fiom havinc seen t!ie ciune co, emitted ot having heaidanv of theevidenc do'iven d undfr oath, formed or e\pic scd an opinion as to the guilt oi innocence of the piisoner.it the bat ?"' " Ko, sii "' " 1^ there any bias oi piejudiee icsting on your mind for or against the piisonei at the bat '!'' " None, sir." "Is \onr mi'id peifectly impaitml between the State and the accused ? ' "It is " All the questions had been answeied, and the court wa> congratulating itself on Ins ing another juror, and the solicitor in solemn tones said ," Jure r, look upon the jaisonci — prisoner look upon the juior." The old man adjusted hi 1 -, spectacle. 5 ., ami pc( i inulv gazed at the piisonei for full half a minute, wheu lie tinned his eyes tow aid, the court and earnestly said ' — " Judge, I'll be condemned if I don't believe lu-V guilty !"It ib useless to add that the court was eonsideiably ew-pe atod at having lost a juior, but the more hiuiioroiisly mch'ne't had a good l.uigh ■ oat of the old man's premature candoui . One SiiiLLixr; — Francis J. Shortts' Popular Art Union. — Ten iip-t-ciass Oil Paintings by celebrated .lviist-. TiCOO tickets nt Is. The pri7C* arc m-i^mlicpnt and costi}'. Counttv subscribers sending ktamps or olhcfvVisc will have tickets by return post. linrldse staniiicd envelope for rcplv.— Fkavcis J. Slioitri, 140, > Qimen-street, Auckland — [Anvi ] ! LIFK IN THK Bn.SH— TIIEK AXD NOW,— It i* supposed that in Utc bush «c have to putiUp with many. discomforts and privations in the shape of food Formerly it was j,o, buf . now, thanks to T. H. HiLj., who has> himself » 'dwelt in the bush, if food does consist' chiefly of j tin'rH'd in^afs his Coio.nial Saocu gr>%o^ 'lAJthcm ...amost^leiiqctablcflHvour, roakinß thotp .jjs well .', of flic pfaincft food jnost erjfiy.'ible, ana instc.id >Jt jitfnaro Ulsc'uHs nnd indljjcitif)|o dninj^i't' hts'l.vii PUoyßjjCotjONiAr.-HA'KiNo -PdWDi'U' m'Jkos' thr - y/srr b ffn t 'Prffl<Ji,5 c P"c s 'ffi?l cc , ( 'i i "'"»rt P,**«O* for, ! ' superior .nnd room wnoliiitomo < t than yt'^it or le;ivon, S>ld by all , storekeepers "who can ob