ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XXI, Issue 1777, 24 November 1883, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Despite all the influence exerted on behalf of two or three local men to obtain for one of them the appointment of Official Assignee in Bankruptcy here, a Southern man, Mr Lawson, has obtained the office. I believe the Ministiy have acted wisely in selecting a .stranger for the position, at> had they appointed a local man, with friends and enemies in the place, he would suiely have been accused of partiality, whereas a stranger coming here without any local prejudices w ill be able to discharge his duties without i mining any risk of having such an accusation made against him. L believe that the change in the bankruptcy law, especially the provision foi an official assignee, will have a beneficial effect, and will tend to lessen the number of bank- ) uptcies by removing the facilities for bankrupt* obtaining their di«chaige. Under tho old act the more bankruptcies theie weie the better foi tho trustee, as he leeched his fee whether the ci editors received a dividend or not, wheieas under the new act the fewei bankruptcies there aie the bettei for the official assignee, as he v\ ill have le.s work to do. Theie was a ■seiy giavo objection to the old system, in the fact that in many cases the bankrupts had been supporters of the tiusteo, giving him then proxies in estates in which they woie cieditors, and would piobably do so again, so the ti ustee was bound to " let them down easily ' in his lepoit, out of giatitvide foi favours past and m the future. By the appointment of an official assignee this pernicious system ■« ill be stopped, so that the new act is pre finable to the old, if only foi that lcfoim. % ' Tli at was a nice little swindle that was attempted to be worked on the Wellington people and the general public in connection with the Makata Queen of Beauty mine. A trial lot (ten tons, 1 think) of the quait/ was .sent to the Thames to be ci ushed. The result was very satisfactory, but, uufoituuately for the pioiiiotois of the swindle, " Long Drive" Walker, who was asked to give Ins opinion as .111 u\peil, said that the quart/, which was crushed was fiom one of tho mines on tho Thames goldhehl, and not fiom the Makaia mine. His statement was called in question, and lie w.is threatened with le<j.il pioeeeding-.. Xothmg daunted, ZSIi Walkei pei >isted in Ins opinion, and made a wagei th.it it was eoileet. Mo-si^ JJlimdell A»d HanU, of the two Wellington dailies, weie appointed lefeiees, and they sent samples of the genuine and the alleged Makai a quait/ to I)r. Hector foi analysis. Ho analysed the two specimens, and found that genuine Makaia quait/: contained a \ei;, .smallquantity of gold with nine pei cent, ofsilvei 111 it, while the alleged iLik.ua quail/ contained much 111010 gold with thuty-tlnee pel cent, of sihei 111 it. Fiom the peieentago of silvoi, it was certain that the latter qu.utz was taken fiom one of the Thames mines, and not fiom Makaia, so that a veiy ugly swindle "\v as attempted. % In the palmy days of the Thames goldfield, it was not a very uncommon thing foi 111011 who wanted to dispose of a mine to "salt" the ciushing. This was done by the holders of the mine buying a few pounds of veiy lich stone, containing thiee or four ounces of gold, and putting them in with the quaifc/, fiom then own mine when the tiial ciushing was taking place. One " new chum " made a s.;d mistake in tiymg to woik .1 swindle. His intention was good enough, but he lacked the knowledge necessaiy to cany it out pioperly. He announced tli.it on a ceitain Xl^-ho would have a tn.il ciushing of one tiW\ of quaitz f 10111 his claim. _ He engaged uLtainper at one of the b.ittoiies, pml the foMishing chtii g<*s, and sent d«>w n Ins " dn t. When the quaiU had all been put tlnough, the blankets weie carefully e\annned, but there was not a tiace of gold. The " pioud proprietor"' of that claim stamped and fumed, and, 111 1 egret to say, used bad language, condenmatoiy of the batteiy, but it was of no avail, as there u.n not tho coloiu of gold. At last he said, "Then* must be some gold theie, foi t put 111 h\e soveieuiis myself. '' After the laughtoi, which followed Ins sUteinent, iiad subsided, he was told that the kitteiy was conducted to eiush quait/, not sovereigns, and lie went away a s.uldei and a wisei man. He aftein.irJs learned that one of the men wOl king at the batteiy had picked out the -oxeiei^n11s they came tin ough, none the woise ioi the battering they had leccivect. Home of the Faght Hmu.-^' 'Deinoustiation people aie veiy n.ite because the da> w hicli they lia\e fi\ed foi then demon-tuition (Janu.m 2'lfch), i' the d.ij fi\ed foi the Temperance Societies Denionstiatuui, .intl then* has UU i i«n some coiu'spondenu) in the no\v->papeis 011 the subject, the nienibeis of (»ach pail\, asseitiiig a puoi claim to the day 111 question. N> far as I can nidge, the te'iipei.ince i»<j'ip]i> sivm to have the be-.t of the aiyument, but, p.n'lup-, I think so because I h.ue moii' sympithy with them than with their 1 paK' I nm-t admit tliat T h.ue not much admuation foi the "eight lumis" p.uty, as they aie pist ab.mt tlie nioit selfish people I know. Tliev want to limit then own houi -. of labour, but will not lift a hiigei to shoiten the hours of other peoi)le. .Some tune ago two of then deleg.it js waited on me to assist their movement. T told them that 1 would gladly do so as soon as I saw them doing what they cwld to shoiten the hoius of the assistant m tlie drapers', grocers' and other shops, but that, though they insisted on slimt hoius foi themselves, they weie the\eiy people who compelled otheis t<> woik long houis. 1 instanced the diapois' assistants who have to woik ouSatuidivs from eight or nine in the niounug till ton, eleven, or twelve o'clock at night, and told thorn that they ought to do .ill m then power to shoiten the horns of the cb.ipei-.' assistants, by doing no shipping aftei si\ o'clock. After arguing foi sonic tune, one of them uiiively said, " Well, I alwaytake a stioll down town on Satuulay night, and theie would be no fun if the sliopo w eie notop^n." I told Ilinlth.it wasjustwh.it I objected to, tho selfishness of those who insisted on only eight boms' labom foi themselves, while they compelled otheis to work for twelve or fifteen houis, and that, as I was once a chapeis' assistant, I would not do anything to aid the " Eight Houis Denioiistution until I saw the promoter-, of it trying to shorten the houis of the drapers' assistants. Auckland i« rather unfoitunate in the matter of (Inert steam service fi 0111 England. Tlie Westineath, the fust duect steamer that ai rived lieie, made .1 long passage, and when she readied heie we found that .she was a duty boat, fit only foi a collier. The Doric was a better \ os-.01, and made a faster passage, though not so fast as th.it made to Lyttelcon by her sistei ship, the lonic, and when she anived heie it was found she had measles on boa id, w lnch caused delay. The Tiiumph, which was e\pjcted to anno heie a week ago, raushoit of coal, and had to put 111 at Hob.ut, so she will make tlie length of her piv,age about sixty days, which i" moie than tlie time occupied by passengers who come out to Sydney by the Oiiont or P. and 0. boats, and come thence by the Union Company's vessels. As the result of our experience, we Aueklanclars arc disposed to question the value of the direct steam service to the colony. Howevei, it is to be hoped that wo are receiving our evil things first, as Lazarus did, and that we will " have a good time'' by-and-by to make up for it, as he did. There has been a good deal of correspondence, to say nothing about leading ai tides, during the last w eek or two on the subject of Railway reform, and poor Mr Vaile has rjeifl/ed " more kicks than halfpence" Kowever, he has the satisfaction of knowing that that is the treatment always given to those who attempt lefonn in any shape, and he has the further satisfaction of knowing tliat he has done good service to his adopted countiy by chawing so much public attention to the absolute necessity for an improvement (?) of our railways. On Tuesday the "Star" published the return ordered by Pailiament during its last session, showing the loss the colony sustained during the year ending March the 31st on each railway, branch, line and section of railway. From this it appeals that none of our lines of railway have paid their own expenses and five per cent interest on their cost, with the exception of the main line in the Middle Island, which has paid both and left an apparent profit. Is>ay1 s>ay an apparent profit because I believe that the balance shown will not be sufficient to pay for the wear and tear of the permanent way and rolling stock. However that may be, the return in question indicates that short disjointed lines do not pay and that if our railways are to show a more satisfactory result it will be done only by completing the connection between existing lines. This is a conclusive aigument in favour of supplying the missing link between Auckland aud Wellington by the immediate construction of the Waikato-ZTaranaki railway. I hope that all the Members of Parliament will see the matter in this light .and push on this much-needed work. i * St. Mdngo. !

Why is a carpenter like a barber ?— Because lie cau't gefc along without shavings. A very fine soap-liniment is made as follows :— Take of white Castile soap, cut small, two pounds ; camphor, five ounces ; oil of rosemary, one ounce ; oil of origanum, two ounces : rectified spirits/ one gallon. Dissolve in a corked bottle by the heat of a water-bath, and, when qviite cool, strain and add liquor of ammoniajcleven ounces. 3 J ut it into bottles immediately, cork close, and tie over with a bladder. It will bo solid and transparent when cool. Loud Mansvikld trying an action, w hicli arose out of the collision of two ships at sea, a bailor who gave an account of the accident said, " At the time I was standing abaft the binnacle." " Il'/h'ic n (ibnfl ihr binnacle ?" interposed his lordship. The witness, who was half drunk, exclaimed aloud , " A pretty fellow to bo a judge, who docs not know where abaft the binnacle is !"Lord M.uisfield, instead of thieatening to commit him for contempt of court, quietly said, " Well, my friend, fit me for my office by telling me where abaft the binnacle is ; you h.ivs already shown me the meaning of half ' &cff> orrr !" The following story, which may be new to some of our renders, is recalled by the subject of .salt :— Thice Capuchin friars travelling, airived at an inn, but so poorly was it supplied that a .single egg and one pinch of salt vas all they found there. At fust they disputed the prize, but at last agreed it should become the property ot the one who quoted from his breviary the most appropriate phrase. Aecoidinglv the fiist took it and shuck of! the top, savins, " sic coutciet caput tuum ;"' thes-econd leccived it, and. putting in the ••alt, said, " aceipe sal ■!api o ntia' ;" it Mas tlicn passed on to the third, who swallowed it up, saying, " entra in gaudmm domini " A party of tjontlcinan who were making a pleasule. tour through the different watciine-placcs, veie wont to amuse thcmsclw'3 at the table by lelating aMecdotci. roundnuns, Sea. Tlieie was one old gentleman among them —a Mr A. —who was always uieatly delighted at these jokes, and laughed louder than the rest, but who never tclatcd anything himself. He w.is often rallied for tins. and he dctei mined one day that the next time he was called upon he would have something to relate. Meeting one of the waiters, he asked him if he knew any good jokes or conundiums. The waiter told him that he did, and 1 elated th" following :—": — " It, is my father's child and my mother's child yetit isnot my sister_ 01 or brother ;" telling him at thesnme time it was himself. The gentleman boie it in mind, and the next day at dinner he suddenly broke out with ■" I've got a conundrum for you."' " Piopouml it," exclaimed his companions. " It_ is my father's child and my mothei's child, yet it us not my sister or brother,"' haul the gentleman, tin owing a triumphant ghnco aiouud the table. ""Then it must be yourself," said one of the company. " I've got you now — you'ie all wionc. It is the waiter" A 'shout of laughter intcriiipted A., who perceiving the mess he had got inlo acknowledged the enor, and told the company that lie would pay for the wme. That was A's last effoit.