ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

Waikato Times, Volume XIV, Issue 1201, 9 March 1880, Page 3

ECHOES FROM THE CAFE.

It is very gratifying to us Aucklanclers to see that our line compares so favorably m the way of profits with the railway lines m the colony. With one very insignificant exception, the Auckland and Waikato railway shows the smallest per centage of expenditure to receipts, besides being almost the only line which shows an increase of revenue during the last quarter of 1879. It is very satisfactory to us to know that our line is paying so well, provided we have not to "pay too dearly for our whistle." I find, on reference to Bradshaw, that we have fewer trains running than on the southern lines, and that our trains run more slowly. Therefore the public have to suffer inconvenience m order to show so large a profit — a profit which goes to the great "horse-leech," Wellington, to keep up our noble army of Civil servants, and Auckland is not one whit the better for it. The other day two little boys were playing together. After a while they began to quarrel, and, either ignorant or oblivious of Dr. Watt's injunction, "let their angry passions rise." At last one of them said, "I hate you." "I wish you were dead," replied the other. The first boy then said, "I wish you were hung, and that I was sitting at the foot of the gallows looking up at you, and eating ham and eggs." This was too much for the other boy, so he threw a stone at his quondam friend and' decamped. We had a small scare on Sunday last, when it was believed that Rangitoto was m eruption. However, the fears were unfounded, as it was only the scrub on fire. The fire had a veiy pretty effect just between sunset and the rising of the moon. I suppose a reward will be offered for such information as will lead to the conviction of the parties who set fire to this valuable timber. I was told the other day that the Cambridge people intended to start a newspaper of their own. My advice to them is the same as Punch's advice to people about to many, "don't." The Waikato district can support one newspaper, and a very good paper it is, but a second newspaper m the district would prove a genuine "buster" to all concerned, and would soon die. Why, it would take half the first year's receipts to pay for the " Echoes from the Cafe," and then I would be worse off than I am now. Mr Justice aiid Mrs Gillies left here last Tuesday, per s.a. Australia, to visit their native shore once more (memo for the manager, no extra charge for the poetry, as it was unintentional). Before leaving Mrs Gillies gave a farewell " at home ' to her friends m the form of a garden party. I was not there ; had a prior engagement ; was rather seedy ; invitation came too late ; was busy writing the "Echoes," or something else. Anyhow I was not there. However, I heard all about it. One lady (?) who was there, (by accident I suppose) not having been introduced to Mrs Gillies, went up to her and sakl, "I am Mrs A," Of course Mrs. GiUiea intended a]l her friends to say "good-bye" to her at the "at home," but Mrs A., ignorant of the xules of etiquette, called to s.a.y "good-bye" afterwards, Of course Mrs A. is a lady, and her husband is a member of the Northern Club. By-the-bye, I was m the Northern Club one day (never mind the why and wherefore) and Haw one of the members of that aristocratic institution drinking gin, which I consider is poaching on tlw presences of the washer women, Talking about clubs veniinda nic of a

little incident which occurred at the Auckland Club some time ago, which " caps creation " for meanness. A. had gone up to the billiard room after lunch, and sat down to wait for some one to play a game with him. Presently B. came up, so A. asked him to play him, reminding him that he owed him his revenge- B. said he would be very glad, but that he had promised to play C, who just then came upstairs. He turned round to C. and asked him to let him off playing, as he wished to play A. C. said, "I will let you off if you give me sixpence." B. gave it to him, and he put it m his pocket and went away. The Mormon elders, who have been preaching the doctrine of polygamy or adultery, baptised some converts m the Graving Dock on Sunday evening. Someone remarked that they were glad the dock had been put to some use at last, which was pretty "rough" on the Harbour Board. Before slavery was abolished m America a Baptist revivalist went through the slave states preaching to, and converting the "niggers." He baptized his converts m a river, which was rather too swift for the purpose. One of the converts was earned away and nearly drownd. However, he managed to get to shore, and stood puffing and blowing. As soon as he recovered his breath, he said, " Some gentleman's nigger's goin' to get drowned one of these days, with this darned foolishness ! I had a letter from a friend m Sydney by the • Hero.' Speaking of the Exhibition, he says, " If you have any voice m the Councils of your colony" (if I have any voice ! Do I not belong to the Fourth Estate, and write for the Waikato Times?) ship to Nova Scotia the first idiot who proposes one for New Zealand. I place the advantages of the Exhibition against its disadvantages thus : Advantages :— Grand show, very edifying and all that, causing a great private expenditure of small coin, and a large public expenditure. Disadvantages : — Increased duty on beer and whiskey, Stamp Act, and lots of other abominations. I think my friend shows a large debit balance against the Exhibition. Is it not so ? I see by the newspapers that De Lias is going to sell all off, and leave the colony and go to Howick. In spite of his meanness, he has not been able to make the Theatre pay. Seeing that he could not do it, lam sure no one else can, for he is the meanest manager I ever saw, met, or heard about. It is to be hoped the Theatre will be bought by some one who will conduct it on a liberal principle, when it will pay very well — meanness does not pay. As I expected, Biccardi has made a hit m Melbourne, as Sir Joseph Porter, m "Pinafore." I did not see how he could fail to do so, for his singing is splendid, and his acting far above the average of Opera singers. Williamson will find that he is worth his £?0 per week. The Australasian 1 s theatrical reporter, referring to Harding' s " Captain Corcoran," says that he is the best representative of the character that has appeared on the boards of a Melbourne theatre, Miss Leaf seems to have been the least successful of the three who went from Auckland, but the reason of this is evident — she takes the part of "Little Buttercup," a part for which she is not suited. I saw by the Southern telegrams that a celestial at Lawrence had solved the Chinese Question, at least, as far as he was concerned, by hanging himself. I would quote a Scriptural text to the rest of the "Heathen Chinee" who are m New Zealand, and say, " Go and do likewise," with a fervent hope that they would obey the injunction. We have not got many of them here now, but if we do, we will find them as great a scourge as the Calif ornians now find them. " Mallee John Chinaman welly good man," is not the belief of St. Mungo.