WOMAN HAS NO AGE.

Western Star, Issue 2220, 8 July 1898, Page 3

WOMAN HAS NO AGE.

Speaking upon the subject ot woman s age, a recent writer says that it is one topic upon which women are invariably silent. She comes into possession of that idiosyncrasy of the sex as soon as she is of age. From earliest infancy to eighteen she desires to be thought older than she is—that is, to be old enough to be considered a woman. The moment she becomes a woman she becomes silent on the subject.

It has been so from the earliest generation, and man delicately observes a discreet respect for her nowrecognised immunity from question on the subject. A woman has no age. Even in the most ancient chronicles, while there is no attempt to conceal the fact that Methuselah was nine hundred and sixty-nine years old and Adam was nine hundred and thirty years old, allusion to the age of every woman from Eve down is notably omitted except when ir becomes absolutely necessary to point the narrative. Even on the subject of marriage the same reticence is observable. For instance, Isaac's age is frankly admitted to have been forty years when he married Rebekah, but not a word is said about her age, although the knowledge would be of great interest. It is well known that women reach maturity at an earlier age than men, but the secret has been carefully concealed, until it was recently disclosed, by the inquisitorial statistician, that on an average women live to a greater age than men. The statistician who has told us how old nearly every great ancient was when he died, has failed to record the age of women at their death ; so that we do not know whether Eve, Sarah, Rebekah, and other notable women of their time possessed the same advantage of longevity. Slow, But Not Sure.—Briggs: ' You are going to call on Miss Jones to-night, aren't you ?' Griggs : 'Yes. I thought I would drop in and get acquainted with her.' Briggs : ' Well, let me give you a few tips. She's a girl that you must be very careful with.' Griggs: ' Careful ? How so ?' Briggs : ' Well, if you wanted to kiss her, it wouldn't do to rush the kip. Take your time.' Griggs: 'Oh, I see.' ' Briggs : ' When you first walk with her, for instance, appear as if you thought there was some one else present. There won't be, of course j she will look out for that. But you must be very circumspect.' Griggs: ' About when should 1 begin to unbend ?' Briggs : ' Oh, after you have called there °four or five times you can gradually get more familiar, more confidential. Tell her you have long wanted a friend, one whom you can trust. Put in a touch about your lonely life, and so forth. This will arouse her sympathy.' ' Griggs: ' I see. When would be a good time to hold her hand?' Briggs: « After the eight or ninth visit. But be careful, very careful. Treat her like a timid bird.' Griggs : ' It will evidently be a long time under your method before I can kiss her.' Briggs: ' Oh, yes; but it s a sure thing, old man. That's my method.' Griggs (effusively): ' Well, old boy, I can't thank you enough for telling me this. After what she told me yesterday, I'll know just how to act.' Briggs : ' What did she say ?' Griggs: 'She said you was a nice fellow, but the slowest man she ever met.'

Ironical " Irs."—lf kissing went out of fashion no girl would care to be considered fashionable. If a man would live to a ripe old age all he has to do is to keep right on living. . If men were built like pianos there would be more square and upright people in this wicked world. If a woman would always write the postcript first it would save her the trouble of writing the letter. If you can't solve the pioblern of life go to your druggest. He can always give you some kind of solution. Loyalty.—The late Doctor R was one who could seldom resist telling a good story, even when it turned the laugh against him. On one occasion a man-servapt, whom he had recently engaged, astonished him by appearing to wait at breakfast with a swollen face and a pair of unmistakable black eyes. ' Why, John,' said he, ' you seem to have been fighting !' ' Yes, master, I have,' was the reply. ' And who may your opponent have been ?' ' Why, sir, Doctor M 's man naming a rival Esculapius. ' And what did you fall out about, pray ?' ' Why, sir, he said as you wasn t fit to clean his master's shoes.' ' And what did you say ?' ' Well, sir, I said as how you was !' When the Duke and Duchess of York visited Glasgow a man in the crowd alleges that he overheard the following remarks :—' He's gettin' a wee bit bald.' ' Isna she a braw wumman?' 'He's like his old boy.' ' Look hoo nice her hair's din up.' 'A thocht he wis bigger.' ' Her neck maun be sair booin'.' ' A'm thinkin', when we pey them tae dae this, they shidn'a keep us waitin' (this was because the procession was ten minutes late after lunch). 'Eh, but they're a bonnie couple.' ' Nae bonnier, ma wumman, than we wis at their age.' The Australian colonies have a greater railway mileage, in proportion to population, than any other part of the world.