Page 5 Advertisements Column 1

Western Star, Issue 2216, 24 June 1898, Page 5

The Landlord’s New Motto.—An angler in Teesdale, entering a little inn in a remote district, was surprised to see on the wall of the bar the legend, Id on parle Francois. 1 How does it happen,' said he to the landlord, ‘that you find it necessary to speak French here ?’ * French !’ was the answer ; ‘ there’s nobody speaks French here !’ ‘ Then why do you keep that announcement on the wall V It means that ‘French is spoken here.’ ‘ Weil, I’ll be shot!’ was the reply ; ‘ if a pedlar from Darlington did not sell me that for a Latin motto, ‘Heaven bless our Home.” Queen’s English.— Scene; Fore cabin of ‘ The Lord of the Isles,’ at Inverary ; M’Tavish, accompanied by two friends, has stepped aboard for a ‘ dram.’ MTavish, to friends: ‘ Fat for yoo, Shon Cam’ell ? A half of whuskey an’ a bottle of soda-water? Ferry goot. Tugal Urquhart, fat for yoo ? A pottle of porter? Iraphm 1 Ferry goot. An’ she’ll shust tak’ a pottle of porter for her nainsel’, mirrover, too.’ Clears his throat and bawls: ‘Hero yoo are there, steu wart! A pottle of whuskey, a half o’ washin’ soda, an' wan pottle of porter twice : an' you’ll tak’ yoor hurry, neither, young fellow, my lad, an’ don’t keep us waitin’ all yesterday about it.’ Let talkers talk ; stick thou to what is best; To think of pleasing all is all a jest.