MR. JINKS AND MISS JONES.

Western Star, Issue 1969, 8 December 1894, Page 1 (Supplement)

MR. JINKS AND MISS JONES.

7HE community I of Wild Duck Mat, whi c h everybody knows is somewhere about the Goulburn Valley, was, some two years ago, .. - i in a great state of mind about the education of the rising generation. It enjoyed the assistanee of the Gove'rnment so far as the erection of a school-house (at the top of an almost insurmountable hill) was concerned ; and the services of a schoolteacher were also at its command. This last privilege, however, the good people did not appreciate at its full value. Mr. Jinks, the aforesaid pedagogue, was not universally popular. He was a fine looking young fellow, but of reserved manners and somewhat haughty demeanor. He was unconscionably careless in his conduct at school, and would often dismiss his scholars long before the regular time, simply because he was tired of their company. He allowed them unreasonable latitude, aud permitted them to bring their dogs and pels tvith them to the halls cf learning. Finally it was darkly whispered that Mr. Jinks was far too fond of rum. The chief trouble rested in the circumstance that tins handsome,- happy-go-lucky, haughty beggar of a schoolmaster was given—greatly to the destruction of his influence as a trainer of youth—to looking upon the wine when it is red, as represented by the liquor yclept rum, dispensed at the ’Possum Inn at Wild Duck Fiat.

Perhaps, philosophically consumed, some excuse for Mr. Jinks’ lamentable weakness. The, position of school-teacher, under the happiest conditions, is not one of “beer and skittles.” in such a hole as Wild Duck Flat it was one in which only the strongest minded individual, fortified by long training in ascetic habits, and the resources of an extremely contemplative mind, could exist without recourse to some such diversion as Mr. Jinks affected. He lived in the school at the top of the beforementioned hill. The building was erected on a patch cleared from the thick forest. Look which way he might, he had only green trees—weird and blasted by old bush fires—upon which his eyes could rest. Dr. Johnson said that the beat view in Scotland was the road to London. Mr. Jinks often thought that the best view from his,, schoolhouse was the track leading down to the settlement which boasted the Possum Inn. And, thinking thus, it was not wonderful that in his moments of leisure he should take that path in his constitutional walks abroad. The people of Wild Duck Flat, having very little business of their own to concern themselves with, very naturally considered that they had a perfect right to .nterfere with other peopled. We find this the ease all over the world, and amidst more important communities than Wild Duck Flat. And so the transgression of the schoolmaster, his haughty and unsocial manners, his “swell airs” and reserved bearing were made subjects of pretty general commentary. They were rendered mere heinous in the eyes of the inhabitants of the Flat in that they were in ill imeord with Mr. Jinks’ habits of tippling. It was of no avail that the children loved him, and the young ladies admired his handsome face and stalwart figure. Tlie elders of the community took fin intense dislike to him, and that was enough, and having a good handle for their grievance in his partiality for rum they determined upon getting rid of him.

A deputation, consisting of the local blacksmith (and leading Particular Baptist), tlfe local storekeeper, and the local attorney (who was of course concerned in the moral welfare of the inhabitants of the Flat), accordingly waited upon the Minister of Education, and laid certain particular charges against Mr. Jinks, which the great man said should be at once enquired into. Mr. Jinks, wholly unapprised of this movement, had walked down the great hill to the township in order to replenish his flasks, wh'en the landlord kindly directed his attention to a paragraph in the Age embodying the information. Mr. Jinks perused it, calmly, burst out laughing, drank off his grog, and quietly struggled up the hill again homewards. As he did so he was watched out of sight of the whole village. “Takes it easy,” suggested Mr. Squirls, the local blacksmith.

“ ’Aughty as hever,” says the Cockney storekeeper. “ Tell you what, Squirls, there’s somehin’ mighty mysterious about that ebap. Seems to be a real swell, yer know.” “Well, he’s down on his luck now, anyiow,” was the answer, and the pair buckled amiably. The following morning Mr. Jinks received an official letter from the Educaional department, informing him of the :hurges which had been laid against him, and demanding answers thereto ; also intimating that he was to consider himself suspended until an inquiry was conducted, and directing him to hand over the school to Miss Lucy Jones, who would arrive on the following Saturday. Mr. Jinks again burst out laughing.Then he turned up the corner of the official letter, and simply wrote : “ Never answer impertinent questions. Shall be glad to hand over the schoool to Miss Jonou— E. R. Jinks,” and enclosing it in an envelope placed it in his pocket preparatory to taking it to the post. “ Children,” said he, “ } t ou can take a holiday until Saturday next, when Miss Jones, your new teacher,will an ive to take, charge of the school. I hope you will get on with her.”.

Children are very much the creatures of impressions. They had heard the talk in the village about the schoolmaster and his unpopularity with the leaders of the little coimtninity. And like grown up people they were disposed to assist in trampling upon those who were down. They were very fond of Mr. Jinks, but his partiality for rue: appealed to their sense of ridicule, and killed all awe and respect for his position. And now they were disposed to consider that Mr. Jinks had “got the sack” because he drank too much, and accordingly began to take liberties. Mr. Jinks retired to his private apartments to refresh himself with a draught of his favourite tipple. Master Squirls instantly took up his position at the desk, placed a pair of his father’s old spectacles on his snub nose, and roared out “silence,” tapping the desk with his cane. my kiddies,” said the youthful Esquiris, “ mindyer P’s and Q’s. Jinks is got the sack. My dad and Bladder, the lawyer, and Joggins, the storekeeper, ka.a been and cooked his goose. I’m boss sow. Keep your seats, and keep quiet 01 I’ll wallop yer.” With this, Master Squirls descended and walking around, tapped everybody oyer the head or shoulders with the cane. The spirit of the tyrant which lives in

every boy, moved him to make this tap smart.

The expostulations of the children under this unusual treatment attracted Mr. Jmks’ attention, hie moved to the schoolroom door—saw how matters stood, and seizing the cane hoisted Master Squirls across his knee, and administered a few smart cuts upon that young revolutionist’s persmi, which rendered it very disagreeable 10 him to sit down, for some hours thereafter. When the children returned to the village with a report of the proceedings,they were welcomed as the hearers of much notable gossip. Mr. Squirls, learning that the pride and hope of his family had been subjected to the indignitr of a thrashing, at once hurried over to Mr. Blabber the lawyer, to ascertain whether he could not criminally prosecute the schoolmaster. Meanwhile that individual was descried coming down the hill habited in his old shooting coat, and walking in his usual leisurely, insolent fashion. He proceeded to the post-ofhee to post his letter. The postmaster was'standing at the door.

“ I think there’s a letter for you, Mr. Jinks—a registered letter.” said the postmaster, and going in he presently passed out the epistle, it was a bulky parcel, in fact, and evidently contained some impel met enclosures. The postmaster watched Mr. Jinks sign the receipt and then open this package, with some interest. He perceived the young man read a fewlims —then heard him whistle, then saw him throw his hat into the air, catch it on his stick, v place it on his curly head, and march straight to the “ Possum Inn.’’

“Humph i w said the postmaster. “ 111 news and good, seem to have come to him together.” “ Well, Napper,” said the schoolmaster to the landlord, “ how are you ?”

‘‘ Oh ! I’m right enough, sir,” said the landlord. “How are you? What'll you take ? The usual.”

“Why no, Mr. Napper,” said Mr. Jinks. “ I think not —at least at present. 1 shiil] want dinner in an hour or so—a fowl if you have one, some ham, anything nice. I’m sure Mrs. Napper won't object to toss me up something decent. Of course yombaven’t'any drinkable wine." Mr. Napper, whose pimpled face betrayed emotions of intense ben ilderment and curiosity, did not immediately answer, Presently he said : “ Wine !” “ Aye. wine.” “Now," said Mr, Napper recovering his selfpossession, “ that’s euros awful r/mt . euros. I’ve been here ever since they fust struck gold on the head of the flat, and barring a dozen of champagne which Dutch Charley drank.” “ He cut his throat, I think you told me." “ Well, so he did, Mr. Jinks. Buthe drunk and paid for that 1 wine fust. As I was a-saying barring that dozen of champagne, nobody have hever asked me for wine sin’ I’ve been here.” “ Knowing that you had none.” “ There .sou’re out Mr. Jinks. There you’re out. I have some wine, a d first rate old wine, too. You don’t remember Dr. Wallop no. Ho was afore your time. Well, the doctor —he was a card, a reglar blazer. He used to go on the tear for three months at a time, and how he hever kept clear of being hanged for manslaughter beats me.” “ Well the wine.”

“The doctor,” went on the landlord, with the exasperating deliberation of the bush raconteur, “ had a stroke at last. It doubled huh up, reglar cooked him. So he came over to live here, and used to sit in the corner of the bar making faces all day long. Well, when they brought over his traps, there was about ten dozen of mixed wines, and he makes a motion — as I was to have it. So I buried it down in the cellar, and there it is now, your service.”

“For a consideration,” laughed the other. “ Well, let us hope youv’e some drinkable claret. And now show me to a room. I'm not going back to the school again.” “Ah!’ was the landlord’s remark. “ Well, I don’t wish you better luck than not to go back. ’Tain’t lit for the likes o’ you sir.” “So Messrs Squirls and 00., seem to think, ISTappcr.” “Squirls!” ejaculated the landlord. “ Him ! why”—and here his voice assumed a tone of surprised disgust—“ No, if he had his way, he’d shut me up—he would by George ! Follow me, Mr. Jinks,” and he led the schoolmaster to a small, but clean and comfortable bedroom. Then Mr.' Jinks, giving him the key of the school-house, directed him to have his few traps brought to the inn.

“My successor arives to-morrow, Napper. I don’t know how she is going to manage. She can’t well stay up there , alone But I’d like the.place cleaned up, you know —” and he handed Mr. Napper i couple of pounds notes. The expression of that worthy’s face, as he retired, was remarkable—as illustrating a curious puzzledom of thought within his mind.

“ Whot is hup,” he muttered. “Has he come into a fortin’, or is he desprate, and goiu’ to ’ave a week o’ luxury afore he makes an ole in the creek Well, time wi 1 tell. I can’t let him ’ave that wine under ’arf-a-quid a bottle —it’d be sacrilege to Jet it go under.” And. indeed, as Mr, Jinks discussed a roast fowl and its “environments” that afternoon, he would not, had the question been placed before him, have felt disposed to quarrel with Mr. Napper’s estimate of the wine. It was Ladle—the genuine, mellowed by age and accidental judicious keeping. And then there was some choice port also that stirred the schoolmaster’s heart as he cracked his walnuts afterwards. The feast with which the schoolmaster indulged himself was so unusual an event that Mrs. Napper, proud of her responsibility in the matter, felt bound to communicate the fact to the baker's wife next door; who announced it to the storekeeper’s assistant ; who told it to the storekeeper ; who communicated it to his wife. And so it became the village talk, and reaching the postmaster', “the milk in the cocoanut” was fully accounted for. “An important letter—rogi.-tered—• threw his hat in the air—laughed with delight—greatly pleased—come in for money.” These remarks were buzzed about in no time. The lawyer felt uneasy. Perhaps he had been precipitate. This young man might be the heir to enormous wealth. The storekeeper also felt annoyed with himself. The implacable Squirls alone remained constant to his convictions. “ If he’s got money, then I’ll go in for an action for damages,” said he. “ But I don’t believe it.” When the coach from Murchison arrived the following afternoon there was a great gathering of the notables of the place. It had been set abroad that Mr. Jinks’ successor would be a woman, and svs it was naturally a matter for vivacious conjecture as to how a woman would be able to accommodate herself to the peculiar excigoncies of the position, public interest in the person who had undertaken

to solve the problem was exceptionally keen.

“ Bring a ladder,” roared Tom the driver, “ young lady inside, Napper."

But to his intense surprise, the young lady, assisted by the outstretched hand of Mr. Jinks, leaped lightly to the ground. The ex-schoulmaster lu.d, in the most graceful manner, introduced himself, and now led the lady into the inn.

Was she young or old, pretty or plain, graceful or dowdy?—these were the questions the onlookers asked themselves.

Her face, however, was hidden from view by a thick travelling veil; her figure by warm wraps. She was seen, however, to be of small stature, and one young village spark swore she had as pretty a foot and tinkle as a man’s eye might be blessed to look upon, Mijj, Napper had perpared an apartment for the lady, who presently emerged therefrom, looking so fresh and tidy, and smiling, that the landlady was quite right in summing up her criticism in the exclamation that she was a picture. She dined with the family, of course; M>. Jinks being also a guest. As successor to the latter gqntleman it was but natural that she should take an interest in all he said, and as he had to answer many questions, he was kept pretty busily employed. For this young lady was none of your shy maidens, who. are afraid to look at, much less to speak to a man. She had a way of looking straight into your eyes when she spoke, as who should say, “Gome, 1 am frank and;candid, and I expect you to be the same.-” On his part, Mr. Jinks was certainly frank and candid. He told her at once that the department ou'-rht to be ashamed of itself to send a woman to teach -®“*;uha of Wild Duck Flat, lie said she couldn’t live alone at the schoolhouse. Where was slie to live then ? And how was she to get along with the people who had hunted him out?

“You had far better take your ticket hack to Melbourne, Miss Jones,” said Mr. Jinks. “ Why,”—and here he burst out laughing —“ Excuse me, young lady, but the whole thing is preposterous.” What the young lady thought of this somewhat rude remark is not recorded. At this moment,, arrived the tribunes oi the Flat—Messieurs Squirls, Blabber and (logger ; the three who had formed the d< putation whose statements had led to the arrival of Miss Jones to supersede Mr. Jinks.

“These notables of Wild Duck flat," said Mr. Jinks, waving his hand towards them, “will doubtless inform you better than I can, concerning the advantages oi your position. 1 leave you to undergo the interview,and frankly own, without envy" —and with a saucy smile and deboanhii manner, he bowed to the lady and left the room. Mr. Squirls glared after him. “A most impudent, dissipated, hiraraoral and ungentlemanly feller, Miss,” said he with a nod. Tiro lady smiled demurely. “I am sorry to hear this,” she said, “ but, really, sir, it did not strike me that he was ungentlemanly—at least as to mannei’s.”

“ Maimers don’t make the man, Miss Jones —leastways, on Wild Duck Flat. What wo want is actions—and by George, I’m agoin’ to bring an action against him for larruping my boy ’Grace.” “Humph!" said the lawyer, who felt called upon to say something in view of the professional turn the conversation had taken. The storekeeper now spoke. “ We’ve called, Miss Jones, to suggest that as it ain’t possible you can take up your abode at the school-house, you’d probably like quiet lodgings in the township.” “Of course I must find them somewhere,” laughed Miss Jones. “I really had no idea of the sort of place I was coming to. ’’ “ Wild Duck Flat, miss,” said the blacksmith, “ isn’t half a bad place, as you’ll find. You’ll find us a sober, pious and respectable community, I conduct divine service four times a week, and you’ll have the privilege of teaclun’ in the Sunday school, miss. Miss Jones did not look' over grateful. However, she listened without comment, and having arranged that upon. the following morning she would take up her abode with the storekeeper’s family, managed to dismiss the committee. Mr. Jinks returned from his walk and re-entered the little parlor. He found Mias Jones was sitting by a window, her head leaning upon her hand, her elbow resting on the window sill. Her face, in the dim light of approaching evening, looked very attractive. It was not a pretty face, as people generally understand the phrase, it was refined, clever, with a mobile expressive mouth and large haael eyes. And she possessed an abundance of that dark brown hair in which there shimmers those bronze lights which are so rarely seen. Mr. Jinks, as he looked at her, thought ho had rarely looked upon a prettier picture. And curb oualy enough ,a feeling moved him that at one time or another he had looked upon that face before. As he entered the girl looked. “ Well, Miss Jones,” said he, “what do you think of the notables of Wild Duck Creek ?” “I think,” she said slowly, “that I’ll take your advice and my ticket for Melbourne.” He burst into a joyous laugh. “ Bravo !” cried ho, “ that is rigkfc. I really should not have been happy to leave you in this hole.” “You take an interest in your successor then?” “ Naturally. lam not so selfish as perhaps the notables regard me. By the way, what did those worthy gentlemen say about me ?” “ They did not give you the best of characters. They said—” “ 1 was fond of rum, eh laughed he. “Miss Jones, if you had been going to stay, you would have probably made a discovery. In a certain eupboard in iny r apartments at the school-house—or course, you would have searched the cupboards—you would have found three demijohns of that admirable liquor, I am credited with having consumed it.” “ But what—” “A whim of mine, Miss Jones, The truth is I only took this place for a brief period. I found the time bang very heavily on my hands. So to amuse myself I made fools of the village notables. Of course, these good people were incapable of supposing that I bought myself rum for any other purpose than drinking it.” “ Then you have purposely earned your bad character.” “Deliberately.” ; “ What an extraordinary freak.” “Pooh! it amused me. By the way,Miss Jones—” “ Oh, don't call me by that horrible name,” burst forth from the young lady, “ I declare I loath the name of Jones.” He stared. Then he burst outinto one of his merry laughs. “ How queer I” he cried. “ And I, too, loathe the name of Jinks.” ; “ Why, isn’t your name Jinks ?" i “Isn't your name Jones t”

Mi, and Mrs. Napper, being in soft* veisationin the bar, were suddenly silenced by a wild peal of laughter, in wiiich the tenor and contralto blended very harmoniously. Mrs. Napper nodded, “Quite social, Ben, eh?” “ Quite so,” was the answer. And they w«re right. Mrs. Napper, entering the room with candles, found Mr. Jinks seated by Miss Jones before the lire, with one of the young lady’s hands clasped in his. She stared.

“Mrs. Napper,” said Mr. Jinks, “ allow me to introduce to you my prospective bride.” “ My 1” ejaculated the landlady,setting down the candles hurriedly. “My !” “Yes, Mrs. Napper, this is the young lady to whom I am engaged to be married. When 1 laat saw her she was a very young person indeed. Her papa and mine had arranged that when she grew up we should be married. I thought this rather hard upon me, so I packed up my valise and left home and came out here. And I’ve been wandering about Australia, for the last ten years and did not write home' until some six months ago. To-day I ! received a letter from my father, urging my return and sending me his blessing and a fat remittance. But that was hot all. He charged me to make diligent; enquiries as to the whereabouts of Miss Miss well, this young lady, who, it seems, was as indignant as myself at being disposed of in the manner I have mentioned, and who also adopted my plan of voluntary expatriation, . Accident, has brought us together, accident has elicited an explanation,and—” “ There is one thing, Mrs. Napper—which you must not take for granted,” said the young lady, “ and that is that I am this gentleman’s, affianced. That all depends,!’ ve heard sad tales of his partiality; for— ’’ ' ;

“Rum,” interjected the landlady, : “ Well, but Miss—” | But here another wild burst of laugh- j ter interrupted the good woman. “ I’ll take some now, Mrs. Napper,” ; cried Mr. Jinks, “ hot, sweet, and with; lemon,” and again he made the roof; tree rmg with his laughter. ;

The whole township was present the ; next morning when Mr. Jinks and Miss' Jones took their seats in the coach for. Murchison. All the scholars were there, and to each did Mr. Jinks give half-a-crown, not excepting Master Squirls. The “ notables ” stood aloof, watching the proceedings with ill-disguised disfavor. Mrs. Napper had set the story abroad and the good gentlemen experienced the humiliating consciousness which always follows upon a realisation of having. “ put one’s foot into it.” But when Mr. and Mrs. Napper the following week received wedding cards and a piece of bride cake, together with the announcement of the marriage of the 1 Hon. Arthur Ponsonby to M ; ss Laura Yerner, with ( he further intimation that the former was no other than Mr, Jinks and the latter Miss Jones ; and when this stupendous fact was made known to the public of Wild Duck Flat; the notables fell so lamentable in the judgment of everybody, that.from that moment their influence and authority passed away. For it was reasonable that people who could not recognise tha' merits of a nobleman, even under the disguise of such a name as Jinks were utterly unworthy of public confidence and respect.