"ASKING PAPA."

Western Star, Issue 1385, 31 August 1889, Page 1 (Supplement)

"ASKING PAPA."

Of all the difficulties and pitfalls which beset the anxious Eomeo who meditates matrimony, assuredly the most tremendous is the ordeal which he is called upon to undergo in obtaining the formal consent jof the "stern parent" whose privilege it is to be the male progenitor of the lady in question. Compared to this duty, that most trying of occasions to the masculine mind, namely the wedding, is a pleasant and exhilarating experience, and purchasing the ring a cheerful and enjoyable undertaking. It is altogether useless trying to blink the fact that there is a something about the British papa which makes the average lover uncomfortable. As a rule, he is the most matter-of-fact individual it is possible to meet with; and possesses about as much sympathy with the ardent temperament and roseate anticipations of his would-be son-in-law as a clever surgeon displays towards the subject on whose unfortunate body he is about to " demonstrate.' It is a well-established fact that a pater-familias with marriageable daughters, more especially if they possess good looks, is one of the most obdurate of mortals ; and to this cause must be attributed the terror which the inevitable interview excites in the soul of the lovesick swain. The desperate youth having screwed his courage to the sticking point, calls at the appointed hour, and ventures with a , ghastly smile to inquire if papa can spare him a few moments. He is ushered into the room with a sort of idea that he has committed an offence of the most heinous description, and feels about as cheerf nl as the occupant of a condemned cell at halfpast seven on the morning appointed for his execution.

If only the young lady in questiou were guarded by a fiery dragon or a bloodthirsty giant with more than the regulation number of heads, he feels that he could "go for" that monster with alacrity, arid finds himself envying the Jot of lovers of those days, being quite convinced that a combat with the fiercest ogre of mythology, would be preferable to fifteen minutes cross examination by papa. He probably hears the little sister of his chosen one tittering on the stairs for, like a dutiful daughter, the latter has imformed mamma of the proposal, and where is the woman who can keep a secret of that description. Even the servant when she opened the door, seemed to guess his errand, and he would stake his last half crown that Tommy, aged seven will have his ear to the keyhole. The salary of one hundred and fifty pounds per annum, which, by a kind of tacit agreement among our great middleclass, has come to be understood as the lowest point at which matrimony may be undertaken, seems to him to be lamentably small, as he finds himself face to face with his prospective father-in-law, in the quiet of the family study. Even the vision of love in a cottage, which proved so effective with the young lady herself has lost its influence, and the conversation is all of the less poetical but more practical matters.

The quarter of an hour spent on the rack set*ms an age and he feels as though a verdict of " not guilty " had been pronounced when the interview is over. As he receives the congratulations of his friends, and papa seems to bear him no ill-will, he arrives at the conclusion that he did not make such an ass of himself as he anticipated.