A MODEL TRAVELLER.

Western Star, Issue 282, 1 February 1879, Page 7

A MODEL TRAVELLER.

Messrs Van Dish and Co., the well known warehousemen of 'Wellington, were in need of a commercial traveller a few weeks ago, and in reply to an advertisement inserted by them in the daily papers, they received a large number of applications for the position. The various epistles received from applicants would, if publish d, form n very entertaining volume, ranging, as their contents did. from “ grave to giy, from lively to severe.” Some of the writers exhibited the utmost contempt for orthography, whilst others displayed a decided preference for Chinese hieroglyphics asopposed to AngloSaxoirzed Latin characters. The majority of the applicants were as profuse in their self-laudations, as perons in similar circumstances generally are. There was one gentleman, however, whose epistle evidenced such rare tact, such deep discernment, such an insight into the “ ways that are dark, and the ti'icks which are vain ” in connection with clerks and offices, that I am tempted to let a portion tof it see the light. After “ blowing his own trumpet. ” in a manner that would put to the blush any member of the Government, the writer goes on to remark: “ And now, gentlemen, let me tell you what a commercial traveller should be. He should be as circumspect as a diplomatist, as cute as a Cabinet minister, and as cunning as a lawyer. He should be a man who can see through a customer at a glance, and understand the subtle workings of the human character. He should be a man who, when entering a store where he saw a big order sticking out, would not hesitate for a moment in stooping down to kiss the shopkeepers dear little thre' j -year old, though the pretty little cherub’s sweet little nose might be under the influence of mud-pics and a bad cold at the time. He should be a man who would always keep his tongue in his cheek b. fore the common office clerks and impart alt business wrinkles to has employers alone. He should be a man of a soft, unctuous, insinuating address and a genteel personal appearance. He should be the possessor of a good baritone voice, so that he may be able to sing a duet with a good customer’s wife or daughter when he is invited to tea upcountry, In short, gentlemen, he should be a model man built up specially for the business, and I have the confidence to assert that lam that man.” And yet the stupid firm of Van Dish and Co. were too short-sighted to engage this paragon of a traveller. Sic esh vita, my boy.— “ Saturday Advertiser.”