MISCELLANEOUS.

Wellington Independent, Volume II, Issue 124, 19 December 1846, Page 4

MISCELLANEOUS.

With all my enrly prejudices in favour of nn agricultural life, 1 had long been in the habit of thinking, that with a genial climate and v fertile soil to facilitate his labuuts, whore the farmer tilled, bis own ground, a , id where that ground was divided into fair allotments, where there were none so powerful as to oppress, and none so poor as to suffer, roan must exist in his most natural and happy state. My favourite system was a plausible one. It never occurred to me, until my residence amongst the Pyrenees, to see how the v thing worked," as. the. politicians say. Here, however, 1 beheld it carried out to a degree of perfection, which 1 had not previously believed to exist in the present state of society. Here the climate, except lor occasional storms, is all that the cultivator of the. soil can desire, and the soil itself redundant in vegetation. Here the peasant almost invariably cultivates his own land and has all his means of subsistence and comfort within himself. Nor is there that inequality of property to complain of, which is so frequently the cause of. unfair assumption on the one side, ami of envy on the other. Here every one has his portion ; but that portion is consequently so small, that many of the farms do not exceed three or four acres, and some are only one. On these little plots of ground,,you frequently see all the varieties of maize, grass, wheat, oats, and flax, or \he crops by which these are immediately succeeded, such as,millet and buckwheat; for no such thing as la!low->> round is to be found in the Pyrenees.—Mrs. Ellis' Summer and Winter in the Pyrenees. Douglas Jerrold is•*' off" Punch ; and the presiding genius of Bradbury and Evans , -* famous periodical is Mr. Thackeray, the Michael Angelo Titraarsh of Fhazeb.

How to Win a Loss.—An extraordinary heifer, exhibited at Torrington fair, was raffled for in shares—the winner to pay £5 for a dinner, Mr. Harris, a cattle dealer, took a share, as did abo a nephew of his, and a Mr. Moore. Harris agreed t»> divide equally with his nephew, and afterwards (wishing to be very sa'e) made a similar arrangement with tVtoore. Harris drew the prize—and then had to give one-half to Moore, and the other half to his nephew.

On Saturday week, (May 16), a curi-' ous circumstance recurred in the Court of Bankruptcy in opposition to a country Bankrupt. It appeared the solicitor to the assignees was unable to leave Soiuhampton, and sent up the grounds of opposition through the medium of the electric telegraph. It was reduced into writing at the Nine Elms station, and forwarded by express to Mr. Smith of Sergeants' Inn, who attended before the Commit sioner, and read the communication, and the case was adjourned. Mr. Smith said that on one occasion he had a message from Southampton reduced to writiag and delivered at his office in 17 minutes after it was dispatched from Southampton. A "Georaraa ,, is projected—a terres tial globe about sixty feet in diameter— into which the spectator will be and see;at a glance what kind of world he inhabits. The Marquis of Northampton, Lord Colchester, the Bishop of Norwich, and Sir Roderick Murchison, are among the promoters of the project; and;it is intended /to construct the inßloomeburystreet, in London, near the Museum. A Beau Steak.— There were five dishes on the table, and, in the middle one, was a steak that might have shamed 'the best cook in England. 'Oh,' said I drawing the dish towards -me, * this looks well. . Don't it said mine host/ with a triumphant glance; 'to tell you the. troth,' added he in a whisper, < 1 found there would not bo enough for the company, so I said nothing about it, and bad this table for you in a corner—snug eh ?' * But is there any anything particular .about thei beefsteak V said I. ■« Jt'e a bear, that's all, said he, with another.look;of triumph. ' Bear!'exclaimed I, involuntarily pushing back the dish ; for-the recollection of certain wretched animals of that denomination, with achain through their noses, that I had been .accustomed to see dragged through the mntf of ray native ci'y, to the music of .atabor and'pipe, did not inspire me withany great appetite for the worthy host's delicacy. ■* Try it, , said hewith a knowing wink, ' that's all, , so I cut off a morsel as big as a haz;l nut, and opening my lips very iwitle I summoned resolution to put it into my mou'h; ! waeaitonished. • Weil? ' said mine host. \le that bear?' said X. 'It is, , said he. I tried another, mouthful, asbigagajn first. • In-

deed ' said I. 'UV delioioua! I could ncv | have believed it. , 4 Eat away, , said lie, while it's smoking. i must go and look after the company. I'll tell you more about it presently, and away he went, leaving; me paying every rospect to tho bear that he could possibly desire. It was the bast thing I ever eat; and when he returned, I had pretty nearly closed the dish. • Ah, , said he, «I was sure you'd like it. Hβ was a famous fellow that.' •A capital fellow, indeed, , said I, still munching away. 'Ferocious too, , continued he; 'dreadfully ferocious! , 'Ah! , said I putting the Jaet morpel into my mouth. , ' Before he expired,' he continued, ' ho contrived to eat the head and • shoulders of William Mona, the young man that killed him, , said mine host. The morsel dropt from my mouth. 'You are joking, , said I. ' Not I,* replied he, * it's too true.' 'Give me a glass of brandy, , cried I, falling back in the chair, I thought 1 should have returned my dinner.

A Lady in a. " Fix."—'The following amusing anecdote appears in a late number of Bemlej'a Miscellany; our feelings may be more easily imagined th&n described:— "One night Major P—H Colonel C of G , with one or two others, who were supping at the Bugle Inn, at Newport, agreed to amuse themselves in this manner. A. scene from ' Othello , was fixed upon—Othello by the Colonel, who, in order to look the character had blackened his face all over with a burnt cork belonging to one of the empty champagne bottles that stood under the sideboard. The night was far spent when Lady B ■■ -V coachman, who waited to drive the Colonel home, and who made several attempts to get the Colonel away, sent up word that, ' he conld'nt keep his horses out any longer, am] if the Colonel did n"t 'mmediately come, he muit drive direct to S without him. . The latter not wishing to compromise an old and valued servant, instantly complied, and dismissing the carriage at the lodge, let himstlf in with a latch key, and went straight to bed, quite forgetting that his face was blackened alt over. In the morning Mrj. C———, awoke, and turning round, discovered a black man snoring bj her side! Too much fiightened to scream she jnmped out,' of bed, rung the ball furiously, and wound herself in the bed-curteins. In rushed the lady's maid and the housekeeper. 'Oh ma'am! what is the matter ma'am ." cried both in a breath. ' Nothing happened to th« Colonel, I hope ma'am ?' 88#V the butler at the door. ' Hope master ain't took with a fit ma'am ?' pursued the footman peeping over the butler* shoulder. 'Oh take it away ! take it take it away! , cried Mrs. C ~ speaking with great difficulty and giving herself another twist in ! the bed-curtains. • What is it ma'am—what is it J' | said the femme de chambre, frightened out of her i wits ' It it in the bed, ma'am ?' inquired the house- j keeper, waddling up to it. ' Kne-a-wa !' tnoredthe still slumbering Othello. 'Thieves! Murd.-ri' •creamed the women running out again. ' Thieves ! j Murder j , echoed Mrs. C ■, applying herself to the bell de capo, ' Don't be alarmed ma'am,» said the butler bolting in, followed by the footman and groom, armed with such weapons as they could lay their hands on, 'we'll soon secure the rascals. Lads, mind your heads !'—and with that he g*llautly flourished the Colonel's sabre, which he had appropriated; and supported by the rest of the party approached the bed. ' Hallo!' nmed the Colonel, starting on hit ' head's antipodes,' for be

had been awakened by the hubbub. « The d—!, by —— !' cried the groom, overturning his companion* in bis eagerneu to escape. ' Help ! Murder!' rtiterated the footman, scrambling out of the room on all-fours, as if acting a stage-hound in some mytho. logical charade. • Here Tom ! Dick I Come back you rascals !* cried the bewildered Colosel, throwing hie nightcap after them. John you old fool get up ! Where is your mistress ? If you do not get up this' instant, and tell me the meaning of all this, and who keeps screaming behind the curtain here, I'll throw the bolster at you, I will, you old villain ! Are you all mad ?' Bleu me li< it yon sir!' said the butler, ming and rubbing the small of his back. 'Lo! my dear, ii it you ?' cried Mr». C-——, peeping. •To \ be sore it is 1 Who the plague should it be? 4 What are you laughbj at? ' What were you aH frightened for? Did you tike me for the devil?' • We did, indeed, sir.'.said the butler, as soon as he could speak. • And .no wonder i ! cried Mrs C— ~-, laughing heartily. 'What in the world have you done to jour-face, my dear.' 'iFacel What's the matter with my free!' Inquired the Colonel, who had'forgotten all about the previous nighVs theatrical*. • Nay, • you beat know,' rejoined his better half. • John, bring the Colonel that glass. •Eh I Oh ! I recollect now,' said the Colonel, looking at himself. 'Ha 1 ha! ha ! ho I ho! hoi Capital 1 ■ Glorioug I No wonder you took me for the devil 1 Ha 1 ha ! ha I ha ! How' H—-and the rest of ' em will laugh when they bear this. John, you may go.' And when the servant bad left the room the Colonel explained the

matter, .