A MASSEY SUPPORTER'S HUMOUR.

Wanganui Herald, Volume LIII, Issue 15987, 2 December 1919, Page 4

A MASSEY SUPPORTER'S HUMOUR.

A newspaper correspondent, wljo signs himself “A Strong Massey Supporter,” but who is evidently a humorist instead, contributes a clever skit in this morning’s issue of our contemporary. Beginning with a jocular arraying of Liberal sins and Reform virtues, he concludes by getting out the platform which, in his opinion, is what the country wants. Poliowing are the points, thirteen in number, which he advocates the adoption'of, the remarks in parentheses being our own:— 1. Bach vote of equal value (the first-paat-the-post system, which enables the minority to rule, is the work of the Massey Government). 2. Freedom of speech. (We have nothing very much to complain of on this score, though we do not ever remember having heard that freedom of speech is a Massey invention.) 3. State-owned shipping and coal. (Mr Massey is against both.) 4. Imprisonment for profiteers. (Mr Massey has hod several years to imprison the profiteers, but we have not heard of any being caught yet.) 5. Right of the people to elect members every three years in any circumstances. (Last Parliament was extended to five years. Mr Massey held the majority in the last Parliament, and could easily have ended it in the legal period had he been so minded.) 6. Abolition of the Upper House. (Mr Massey regards the advocates of this step as Bolshevists when they are not lunatics.) ■ 7. Compulsory acquisition of surplus acreage at a fair price, (“Compulsory” acquisition of land is an idea that makes Mr Massey angry,\and his idea of a “fair price” may be gathered from the figures the Government has paid for land for soldiers.) 8. All funds raised for soldiers to be handed to them for distribution as they think fit. (Mr Massey has shown no sign of agreement with such an idea as this.) 9. Every citizen a trained defender. (The Liberal Government passed this into law in 1909.) 10. Education —matriculation the minimum standard. (No sign of Mr Massey thinking that way.) 11. Thill civil rights to all State employees,. with .£SOO annual salary the maximum. (Massey Government has just reminded State servants of the regulations re election proceedings. As to a maximum salary of £500; why he gave one head of Department £3OOO the other day, and others from £IOOO up. No good taking that idea to Mr Massey!) 12. Pully-qualified teachers with same salary, £SOO. (Mr Massey’s education proposals say nothing like this.) • 13. The best men, physically and mentally, as police, £6OO annually all ranks, (‘toll ranks!” The shock would kill Mr Massey.)

Can anyone doubt that the “Strong Massey Supporter” who gets the foregoing o|f is a real humorist?