OBEYING ORDERS.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXXVI, Issue 13434, 22 July 1911, Page 12

OBEYING ORDERS.

The captain of a tramp steamer, when opportunity offered, and he could do so without letting his owners know how much he got for it, was in the habit of picking up passengers for short runs between ports, and by this method had often been able to make a bit for himself, which was put by for a rainy day. On one of these aceosions one of these, passengers died, and as he was a coloured man, the skipper was in a quandary as to how to dispose properly of the corpse. Calling the boatswain up on the bridge, he gave the following orders:—

"Bo'sun, there's a dead nigger in No. 22, and, as I don't know anything about the nigger funeral service, you better go in as soon as it gets dark and roll him up in a bit of canvas, with one or two holystones, and quietly drop him over the side." "Aye, aye, sir." The next morning the skipper went into No. 22 to see if his orders had been parried out, and to his astonishment there still lay the dead man.

"Bo'sun. didn't I'tell you to drop that dead nigger overboard from No. 22? I find he is still there."

"Yossir, so I did, sir." Then a look of dismay came over the boatswain's face. "Twenty-two, sir; I thought you said thirty-two, sir." "You fool! But what about No. 32?"

"Weil, sir, J went into No. 32, and there was a nigger in there. I shook him' and asked him if he was dead, ,and liesaid 'No.' But you know what liars those chaps are, sir."

POINTS OF RESEMBLANCE. • 'He wlui is described as a "promising vniiiiv; mon-hanl" brought homo one day a handsome pial'io l:ii))|). A few weeks :iu<-;-\'.ards he overheard his wife ciii'pciions to tho maid in respect of tho disposition of the draw in anticipation of the advent of a few friends \v!:o were coming that evening. She conclwlfd her remarks with the words, "And put }\y. Wright upon the piano." Taking his wife aside, lie inquired tho meaning of those .strange words. "Oil.'' she replied, "that is tho piano lamp." - ■ . "And why," ho asked, "have you doucs me the honour tonanie. it after Me?" "\\ rU, dear," sho explained, "you see it has a good deal of brass about'it, it is very handsome to look at, requires a i?o.ul deal of attention, is very brilliant, is sometimes unsteady on its legs, liable to explode vhen only half full, flares up occasionally, is always out at bed time, and smokes too much,"