MR O'DOOLAN'S OPINIONS.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXIX, Issue 11728, 1 December 1905, Page 5

MR O'DOOLAN'S OPINIONS.

"Well, Mr O'Doolan," was Tim O'Grady's first remark on entering the cosy parlour of the Harp of Erin Hotel, "an* did yez go to hear th' poplar Opposishun candydate on Wednesday ayinm'?" Manin' me genial frind Haselden " said Mr O'Doolan, answering one question with another. "Manin' none uthcr than Freddy hisself," replied Tim. "Faith, an' I did that same," replied the old gentleman, "an' I listened to th' illigantest exhibition ay platform fireworrks that's bin me good forchune to fee prisint at fur manny a day. He sed th' guns in our forts was no good excipt to shcot cats wid. Faith, ho reminded me himself ay a cat that's had a warrm dose ay shot thryin' to recover hisselJ, an' gottm' tied in knots." "Puss, Puss!" whispered Tim, "an ould Tabby got into some knots fur shure." "He did, thin," said Mr O'Doolan. " 'Me ould frind Dick,' sez FrcdUy, 'tile spalpeen people has returned him an' Iris spalpeen Gov'mint fur 15 years ; therefore they is no good. Dick holds th' confidince ay th' people ; therefore he is a miscreant. He iuvintid butther fat an' green grass; therefore he is th' divil.' Och ! Tim, me bouchal, it made me sides ache to listen to Friddy s funny sayin's. Shure! an if he gits returned 'twill bo th' illigantest forrm ay amuscmint he'll be to th' House wid his ixcintricyties. Phwy, they'll bo able to worrk ail night sittin's, be raison ay laughin' at him all day." O'Grady shied one of tho mantel ornaments at a loan and hungry cat that was disconsolately walking along tho passage. '"Puss, puss," ho called out after the retreating feline. Then, "Ould Tabby wasn't happy wid th' charge ould Dick giv' him, at all at all." "Yez is right, Tim. Ould Dick giv' him a charrge ay shot- that ud tak^ tin ordinary cats to swallow, an' Friddy was spluttlierin' an' shpittin' . little bits ay lead all the avinin', thryin' to shake thim out ay hisself, phwile th' audjencc laughed at his contor3huus. 'Good ould Dick/ he sez, 'yez applauded him. lis surprised at yez. Phwy fur don't yez applaud me. I'se a Oposishuncr. I belongs to th' parrty plnvat brought yez to bankruptcy. We is th' bhoys that druv away yez pop'- I lashivu. Yotc fur raft!' An' wid that he looks at thim as fierce as a rat lukkin' thru' a knot hole." "Or like a tabby cat lukkin' thru* it from t'uther side," said Tim, determined to keep up his little joke. "But there's wan thing about him," went on Mr O'Doolan, "yez know phwere he is, an' he ain't no cuckoo. Ho ain't no furrin burrd, to use- his own wurrds. ! But he's th' grate bhoy to kid, an' make yez belave that th' Opposishun helped th' Gov'mint wid th' laws. 110 ! ho ! ho !," laughed Mr O'Doolan, with his usual hearty chuckle, "Friddy soz th' Opposishun helps th' Gov'mint. 'That's plnvat wo is in Opposishun fur,' he sez. 'We isn't ! there to obsthruct. We is there to help, an' wo does ut.- Th' Gov'mint passes j athroshus laws, an' we helps thim. Th' I Gov'mint won't slipend army money, an' we wants to help thim shpind ut. Th' Gov'mint,' he sez, wid a wink at th' chairman, an' amither at th' rcporthcrs, 'the' Gov'mint is a bad lot entoirely, an' ivc helps thim. AYe is consisting' he scz. 'We is agin th' Gov'mint; therefore we hilps thim. Th' Gov'mint ia dhrivin' th' counthry to rack an' ruin, an' we is helpin' thim. Phwat a sad pickshure,' he sez, 'I is disolated,' he sez. "'Ohono ! Tar an' ounty ! Wirrasthu ! Half a croAvn a day ! Bobtail cats !' an' wid that his voice fails him, an' he shwallows eoiuc Okehu fur comfort." "Puss, puss," was again Tim's comment. "Lave poor Puss alone, Tim." said the i old gentleman, smilingly. "lie's makm' ' a grate foight to serrateh his way up to th' top ay th' poll, an' he's a plucky foig\Tter, but his cause is a bad wan." "'I see, Mr O'Doolan, th' Lib'ral shplit is wail less," said Tim, changing the subject. "Aye, ' was the rejoinder, "Willyums has shtud down. Here's his health," raising his glass, "he's a good Lib'ral, an' a fair man. He's bin willin' all along to be fair, an' he's fair to th' md. lie's set a good example in showin' that wid him silf intherest ain't above th' welfare ay his counthry. Here's luck to him." "I hope, Mr O'Doolan," said Tim, speaking with all the dignity he could command, "that yez doesn't mane that fur a refleckshun on thim as hasn't ehtud down." "Och ! ye hot-headed Connaughter," said the old gentleman easily, '*iur phwy does ye always be lukkin' fur foight, an' houldin' out th' tail ay yer coat fur some wan to thread on. I'm* annoyed wid th' spalpeens that .wudn't «htand down, but 'twucl j only be a silly gosthoon loike yersilf that would take that fur an accusashun ay self intherist. As I've towld yez frequint, Tim, kape a livil head." O'Grady, somewhat abashed, was silent for a few minutes. Then, "Did yez say yez was goin' to vote fur " "Ho ! ho. !" Mr O'Doolan's rich round laugh cut Tim's question short. "Be th powers, Tim, but yez is geltin' a rale shmart elickshuneerm' agint. Barney, mavourneen !" he called out. "Another dose ay Irish, me lad, just to kape down th' Borough rates." Tlien, as the whisky appeared, "Long life to yez, Tim. Yez is a promisin' young man. In th' manetime, raymimber th' word is, 'Concinthrate an' consolydate.' "

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