Why Jones Wore Gloves.

Wanganui Herald, Volume XXXV, Issue 10501, 23 November 1901, Page 1 (Supplement)

Why Jones Wore Gloves.

'■ * . a The question was, "Why does. Jones never take off his gloves?" . . g '.That's, .easy," said' Jones's friend, j "He's tatooed—that's why." f "What-did the darn fool get tattooed , for, if he didn't want it to show?" in r , terrnpted another member. , "He does want it to show, but he i can't. He's proud of it; had it done to order, in fact. .The truth of the f matter is that he is under bonds to the' 1 Government not* to let anyone see it. How did it happen? Oh, some rumpus J( with the Custom House. "You see,-Jones went over to Japan two years ago,-and, like the idiot he is, - hunted up one of those Jap artists, and got himself tattooed.' Well; a little while after that he struck a streak of hard luck, and had to" work his passage back to this country. He came down the gangplank with nothing except the clothes on his back and his precious tattooing pretty much all- 6veir~ him. For some reason the customhouse people went on the'look out foirhim. When ho said that he didn't have anything to declare, they searched his clothing, and at the end of-the investigation urrested. him for attempted smuggling. ( Jones was struck dumb. When he got back his utterance, he asked what he had to. smuggle. ■ '. ',' " 'Work ot -art,' replied the inspector"Jones thought a minute. '*Do you mean my tattooing?* ho asked. " 'Exactly,' replied the officer. This mado Jones red hot -wherever he was tattooed. '"Do you mean that I've got to pay duty' on myself as a -iWork of; art —a. blooming picture?' * " 'Yes, sir. Yon come under classification X, section 98. The duty on you will be'Bo per cent, ad valorem. In your case it will amount to 39.96 dollars.' " 'Do you mean to say that I am worth only *9.95 dol. as an object of art?' asked Jones. ' I'm worth' moro' than that aa live stock!' . " ' "'We took a little off the value, bocause the tattooing is somewhat, worn. If you are worth more we'll raise it toany figure you declare,' responded tho , custom's, clerk. , ' - .. J ';■•"■■ '• -Don't get sarcastic,' retorted Jones, ".getting madder. 'This if an'outrage. I shall nto pay one' cent of duty on my- ' self either as a painting, a statue, a , piece of .bric-a-brac or any other art ob- ' ject. What arejyou going to about it? '■. . " «We shall be obliged to eeiie • you, and put yon in the 'appraiser's'stores.' By this time Jones saw that the situ- ' ation was-getting serious. He quieted down, and "started to advance arguments in his own behalf. * " 'If s a family heirloom, and it s exempt from duty.' •"Mother's or father's side?" asked the officer, pityingly. . •"It's a keepsake—personal property ' . —has never left my possession-^on t intend to sell it,' he yelled. • I «"That won't do with us.' answered the Government. 'We let a man through last year on that plea, and the first thing we know ho was selling his tat- . ■ tooing in a museum. Then we got. strict orders not to-let any more of you v . fellows through.' ' " ' I "At last Jones asked if'he could havo t a' lawyer, and, of course sent for me. He was almost in a state of .collapse, ' and was sobbing like a child. .When lt ho told me what the trouble was, I k started out to have him.released. Afte some- discussion, .the customs .officials r , said they would let him onb undor,bonc n not to sell or exhibit, "Jones-work oj "rt-Skinu Gam«, artist.' The onl 2 trouble was that I.did,not mako-th, bond read 'exhibit for money,' and as . '; result Jones has to wear gloves to kee] 3 from showing the works of art on th< al backs of his hands.. He's getting ,use "to it, however, and doesn't suffer aural it - 'though it grieves him to think th. 1 • he's got to wear gloves the reet of h, Times.