FROM MR PUNCH'S PORTFOLIO.

Wanganui Herald, Volume III, Issue 511, 21 January 1869, Page 2

FROM MR PUNCH'S PORTFOLIO.

DIVIDING' THE SPOIL

!f. (From the.Advertiser.) ..,. .. r . . Scene—The" Provincial Treasury/ '■■' ■!-l§th January, 18(59.- .Presents— ">> The Doctor and Knqwles. The 1 ■■.' iDpetpr,., as. usual,. has a : .cigar in .■>'■ shis'mouth., .Knowles is. drafting-, : '-a tract'at t;he side .table. :.; ■ ,*", . The :Doctor—Drop that! Since you gave up telegraphing- you • are always wasting- 3 rour time over that .rubbish of Beck-'s'-^-what the deuce l&cl you expect to get by.it? ' Knowles—Not to attempt to .Tftmbug- -yon, sir, it pays in Wel'lnigton. Look^at ■ftt . and: F., and .otjhers I t could name~ : where > would they but f'dr'ihe' t<:corinec'tiijli." ,- v . J :-:-':. ;;TnE;DopTQ^-rP-—- the "cqn:necf.ion'.:" ''.To. business. A. good ;strojlve thaf/selling-the birds... Casli •in hand, I suppose ?'.. (chuckles plea•saiitljO- ..;: .■"'....:';." 1 ; Js.NoWLES—Wallace hasn':t handed over yet, sir ; what a.nuisance if he vstibks^t.o his rent for .the library out of it!'but ..lie hasn't the. sense? ; rl]Hi? .Doctor—Don't! .suggest :any)thing so ho,rri,t)le } - please^ () >V'al- ; 'jldceiis a good''fellow and devoted to I I have kidded k-im-on with the :pro4iise t o\ a Government appoint- : m t'lii *w^i^-'w'6 1 'gsetii^td' ;p6 wer-^-he'll '$Bti up right'enough, yo'^'ll see. , ■* ,4nowles— ( Who \IM l jM fief

prmnis|)l himj |nytljrag. ||| Tare's" ffijlds^rth^itidwmjseljf atjaifl efbnts^ on'vijyoirfXlis;^ 'h?eside v s:' £tie'; out-at-e|bf)TC-s provincialists in the House. I —My faithful John j —youshatt he provided'for.'- Imade that right; with Fox—-you are to have Fitz's billet when "we get a decent excuse to turn, him outj hut he's a wary old:d6g;. ': '' • *

Knowles—-A bad look-out waiting- for Jihn to drop his 'bone. Butf, sir, about dividirt 'gs, <the bird money 1 !The Doctor—Let. me see, ;£95 125.-.; As-Superintendent lof course take ; half.; As chief land, purchaser, 1 take one .third., . For..trav.ellin g expenses and petty cash,:-I take pne fourth, ,and the remainder .will he divided equally between Brandon : and yourself. .-, . •..

~ Knowles — ( Wlw linbiys sufficient of fractions to be rathe)', staggered) t-'Well, I'm-Mowed! ..'/..

! The Doctor—You strangely ! forg-et yourself, Mi*. Knowles. What : have, yqif,,,to. complain, , of, .Ijshpuld' like to know? Hayii't.,l allowed you an imprest-advance on the coal and .candle.-money of. jhe,Government offices for the last -six ; months, ■ an'dna free run on the stationery. Didn't we share' like brothers in the 1(1 contingencies" as-long- as the\r lasted;?-. You are;— — v •■■ ;■-.--■ • r • [ Messenger,, ofa hungry and; unpaid sispect, rtisliep in]., ~ ;,•;,..• ..: : r, ■'• Messb^gilr^-( excitedly, as miiJi.i aw interest)— -Mr. ; Wallace,. ~sir,, is i comin'o-, up the street! • ._..; , s ., i [Thew Doctor .lasswnes. a,, ffland sniile.'Knowles bends over Ms writing. Enter, pvffing r and blowing, .Ifr Wallace}. •. .. ' Wallace—Good morning-, your Honor! good morning', sir (to. Knowles), I have . come r with jtlie I.account sales of the birds—'sold' well they did— \\k, :h&,(attevipts .a (jolte) .purchasers sold too.' Pheasants, all cocks/ but two with1 the pip! - That idea of filling" the-larks' cao-e with1 tuis ;I ha"ha:i 'ha ( Lavghs thedaugh] of cc dependent): ;p . / : ' The Doctor—Don't make an ass of Yourself: What on -earth are yon talking' about ? (To Knowlfts),. the !/man's: mad,'l Relieve; • (■• ,■';■:>,■-■'' WA.T,-LACB—(/Puttwg Ms finger to Ms ndse)— iMum'si the word. (Produces account sales -and-hanids them" to ihe Doctor).. '•■■■■'■ , The Doctor—Why the— (men-.\ tions a gentleman with a vested interest in at Teast'tivo -of the company)■ ■^TTow on earth, do you make it only £p8? .v ,;. .-.| ' W tallace —2B per cent, auctioneer's commission. Storage—bird seed—men to clean-out cages, -£5 ; rent of Provincial Council Library/ £,20; advertising-, £5j commission, on do, £lj ios,s : of character ,in undertaking:. Provincial Government business, .£5 j" salary of . Chairman of Gommittees—. ••:;■.- The Doqtor-^ lnterrupting)— It's like your confounded inipudenee ! ( 'Pleasantly').— But ; J^ou're .only, joking I know, old, fellow—hand us over the blunt.. , r '~ ■" , : WALLACE-rNqt ifl knows it— right's right. 1 means to stick to it —you want to sack everything1. [Enter Brandon hurriedly.\ ■. . ' Brandon-t—What's the row now ? Wallace, you 're looking* rather warm. <•■'... •■■ •• '/.; . •,; •;:■ , 'I'iie Doctor—l wish, Brandon, you'd either '^attend ireg-ularly! to business cr not'come here at all: As sure as" there's a chance of any tindropping- in, in you drop. ■:' .. • . Brandon-^-01i, that's the little g-ame, is it?- •' Dividing-.' the Thirds money, I suppose: Weil, give.me: my che'qMe, and 1 7m :ofF. •. - ■■ ''■ , ? The Doctor—Wallace: wants- to: stick to nearly halfj. >look herey: what's to he done ? - • . .Brandon—As legal adviser to the Government, \ say take the i money .he offers, and give it to me at once as costs in advance for taking1 proceeding^ to recover the balance! iTiiK Doctor —Hum! , Eoiowles groans, in. the bacli- ' ' ■'" 'Wallace-^l'll tell you 'what now, I don't want to be hard on you, I know you're'all d—— -d har3. r'upV ;I' Jll give yqu £80,. and cry quits, on the trarisacii on; * hut,' look .here, I' 'must be Speaker next Council. V v

wxs\ dea£ friend. (Handgt oy^j tJb%rJ*#7ie notes, Kvt(Meli aYetgreedity^o%t'siplated.] The Doctor (pocketing the same with a bland smile) —Good morning all! I'm off:to see -Miller about >the- " unreserved land,' 5 loan. Brandon—Oh, but—l say ? Knowxes—Your Honor ? — ■-■ The I)oc£om{jciceiiousty)^-Com-pliments-of the season ! • The prin--cipal Provincial institufion_ of Wellington is right 'for another month .{skqys his ipob%Sts'and :departs rejoicing) . § '