A SATURDAY EVENING'S MUSEMENT IN WANGANUI.

Wanganui Herald, Volume III, Issue 502, 11 January 1869, Page 2

A SATURDAY EVENING'S MUSEMENT IN WANGANUI.

BT A NEW CHUM. " Hear, land o' cakes and brither Scots, Frae MaMenkirk to John o' Groats, If there's a hole in a' your coats I rede ye tent it. ' A chief's amang ye fairing notes An' faith he'll print it.—! Burns] It was a fine evening ; so havinonothing to do, and a' few shilling to spend, I started on an expeditionary tour, in search of amuse tnent. Waking the round of the block, I looked in at various hotels; and speedily found the chief source of recreation to consist in drinking unlimited qnantities'of colonial beei" varied !.y doses of a very dubious kind of liquid, dignified by the names of rum, bi-andv, o-j n ■£~ i hese, combined with'the" -health-, excitement produced by l onr ] , )I)( ; indiscriminate swearing- and h'ja<nhciuv, wit.ha free %lit occasionCl', intermixed, by way of midhig »Te«te; ze*t to these interesting-prooeeainog

seemed to form the sum total of the Wanganui workman's Saturday evening's enjoyment. In so~ae instances, however, the real culmination, the very apex of delight, is free quarters in her:* Majesty's " Tumbledown" Hotel, Market-square, where customers are treated with every] consideration, and are supplied gratis | who. board and lodging, until 'Monday morning, when they are most politely introduced to the chief manager (Mr Bailer), who either confirms the free distribution of provisions, or charges a small sum for the excellent accommodation, with the option of remaining for a further period in the same residence, with the privilege of wearing a wellmarked and. most becoming uniform, kindly provided for residents in this most distinguished abode.

Fully persuaded that I had seen all that w; s to be seen, T determined to return to my quiet bachelor's hall, and in doing1 so had to pass another large hotel, from whose portals proceeded the sounds of harmonj. I immediately entered, and having ordered my jorum of " swipes," sat down, determined to enjoy the remainder of the evening-. I may here state that I am particularly lond of sinking, and (all great men having their little weaknesses) rather flatter myself that I am a great addit:on both in the comic and sentimental line to any harmonic meeting. But this by the way. The Chairman (that is, as far as there could be a chairman, where every one see'ned to arrogate to himself the peculiar duties of that arduous situation) was a stalwart Irishman, who carried a "little bit of a stick" as his insignia of office, with which he every now and then hit the unoffending table various vicious and exceedingly hard raps, vociferating " orther." The room, which accommodated about 30 persons (the. staple drinking commodity being numerous half gallons of beer free?y distributed around) was full, and a gentleman with a good-humoured expression of countenance, slightly distorted by the effects of the liquor he had consumed, gave the company his experience of the pleasures of a county gaol. the whole of those assembled joining in the chords (or coal-box, as he facetiously termed it) in a stentorian manner, and with a supreme indifference as to either tune, key, time, or words. The proceedings were here considerably enlivened by a set-to between a venerable grey-head old gentleman and an individual possessing an indented and bull-dog looking countenance, which was ornamented by the smallest apology for a nose it is possible for the human mind to conceive. As the old gentleman was evidently over-matched, the spectators interfered, and peace was restored, save and except an interjectional threat or growl from the two belligerents. The old gentleman volunteered a song, which, as he had very few teeth, led the inquiring mind into deep and abstruse calculations as to its meaning, the only cine afforded being a reference to some lake or another, but whether that of Wesfmere or Virginia is still; with me a matter undecided. .Rising* eve;y now and then above the " shrill piping treble," like the roll of distant thunder through the calm evening breeze, there came from the bull-dog—l mean the bull-dog -faced gentleman—a distinct assertion, disguised in a kind of growling attempt at melody, that Erin's Isle, or, as he j pronounced it, " Herring's bile" was bis home, an iteration which his , nccent did not confirm, one boing most^ndulutablv impressed with the idea that he knew tar more of that portion of the City of London, named ■St. Giles', than of any part of " ould ! Ireland." This interruption, how- j ver, the " Int.of stick" held by the ! •hnirman effectually silenced, and ' .'ld Senility" broke down at a'>out' ■.lie tweurivtli verse of his bike dirrv. mother gentleman (an oitr note of •■•weiring and sparring li;ivin<>- open duty performed) now volunteered. His nose was—if possible—smailer ihan the bull dog's, bur. he could not onsc of a similar pair of lungs, and ■s, in a most indescribable lioleful scream, " Pretty Polly Per. jiiusj" the county gaol gent consti.

tuting' himself chonis-master, and performing- with great contortionary visual effect. I must here record a most interesting fact, namely, that the more beer you drink the thirstier ' you heroine : so the demand for fresh half g-allons became very lively, some of the society, however, preferring " hard stuff," whatever that may mean. And so, with little or no variation from this programme, the time passed, and the fatal hour of twelve brought to a close "A Saturday night's 7 amusement in Wanganui" . On my honor as, a gentleman (and a gentleman's honor is sans doubt) this sketch is in no way overdrawn, but, is a fair and honest picture of what it professes to represent — Mork's thb Pity.