THE W.V.C. COURT MARTIAL.

Wanganui Herald, Volume III, Issue 501, 9 January 1869, Page 2

THE W.V.C. COURT MARTIAL.

Scene—An ancient Store, Taupo Quay. Time.—lo a.m., Thursday, Jan. 7. SECOND ACT. [The Prisoner, Trooper Hughes, arrives with his guard, followed by a troop of small boys, unemployed militiamen, and other unfortunates.]

Pmith : how pale he looks ; how very sick he seems.,

Brown : Bombastes haunts him even in his dreams. .

Jones (to Hughes): Cheer up, old chap,—no fear !-—they cannot eat you.

Robinson: And perhaps they may most leniently treat you.

COURT OPENS,

[The President, Members, JudgeAdvocate, and Prosecutor, arranged in charming order]. Smith : Mark ye, my friend, their easy giaceful attitudes. Brown: We shall soon hear young Furioso's platitudes! Furioso : The Court is open,—the prisoner bring in ! [Aside] —I'm pleased to hear my own voice make a din. Furioso: Has prisoner seen the doctor ? Guard: No; he's sound in wind and limb. Furioso: To the Doctor, immediately! [Hughes is marched off to see the man of pills and plasters.] Furioso : And while he's gone the Mutiny Act I'll skim! PMSONEtt RE-APPEABS. Prosecutor: The prisoner is here, —I charge him thus. (Reads a lengthy in- ' dictment). Mr Roberts, Prisoner's Counsel, takes a seat at the table. Furioso impresses upon him that he only remains there on sufferance— through the courtesy of the Court, and that on no account must he dare to address that august and terrible body orally. Poor Roberts trembles and bows, and bows and trembles—Furioso still looking fiercely at the learned gentleman. Roberts collapses, sinks into his chair, muttering, " HSs it come to this! Snubbed by a military martinet!" (Groans inwardly). Captain : Trooper Hughes is known to me; he disobeyed my orders, —he " fell out" with ray order-to " fall in." " This was the Very head and front, of his offending," as Othello would say. Furinso : Will'the Foolscap last ? Member:, I .trust it will; but you hare a store of that. Furioso : No insinuations. Ahem! Prisoner's Counsel now endeavoured to cross-examine the gallant captain by means of paper pellets,— written questions, —which, emanating from the prisoner (whose education had been so ncr glected that he could neither read nor write) were reduced to writing by his Counsel, by him handed to the President who in turn pitched the pellets at the Advocate, who declared he could with difficulty decipher the hieroglyphics, and eventually the question, which had thus percolated through so many hands, was put to the witness. This complicated process was very embarassing to Mr Roberts and his client, the i latter evidently failing to understand the I necessity for the pantomimic performance and so much scribbling—so Counsel nnd Client very soon fell out, and the irate barrister threw up his brief, declaring that the prisoner had better conduct his own case! Mr Roberts thanked the Court for their courtesy, made an indescribably elegant bow, looked daggers at his illiterate and unfortunate client, seized his hat, and vanished !

The prisoner, now left to his own resources, continued the cross-examination of Capt F.

Prisoner: When I said there was some mistake about the 74s did you not tell me to go to the Devil ? > ■

Capt. F. (indignantly) : I think that ia scarcely a proper question ; those who know me are aware that I am not in the habit of addressing my men in such a manner. I therefore answer distinctly. "No!" Jt

Prisoner: I distinctly say that you ordered me to "go to the Devil," and I went (immense sensation).

The investigation from this point dragged slowly on. There was a great deal of ceremony, much red-tape, and much that appeared to a civilian to be nonsense; they adjourned upon the most mysterious pretences imaginable, and did nothing, with an air of business that was truly ridiculous; but "it's a way they have in the army." Sergeant-Major, Hair, and Troopers "obinson and Potto declared that if the accused was really obeying orders, in " going to the devil," the route he selocted was down Campbell-place, and into the stable-yard of the Empire Hotel: that there he threatened to shoot the first man who attempted to .lay hands upon him, drtw his revolver, pointed it in the air (fortunately not at Hair), and snapped a cap to frighten the escort (poor fellows!) Trooper Potto got hira-

self-into a' most unenviable condition of fog in giving his evidence, and brought down upon himself the censure of the Court; the Advocate gravely^, hinting at the: possibility of the witness himself ] being tried by a Court Martial if he did not fully recognise, the solemnity of an oath.

The case for the prosecution having been completed, an adjournment took place.

Upon the Court re-assembling, Mr G. a learned pedagogue, the terror of numerous urchins, assumed the character of " prisoner's attorney," being de facto Roberts' substitute. Considering that he was called upon the stage at such short notice, he read his part tolerably well, eliciting that up to 21st Dec, Hughes had been an excellent and most obedient trooper.

The Big White Brother was' present (" at the wings") in theatrical parlance) and a slight flutter was occasioned by the receipt of a despatch from Colonel Lyon, to which a reply was sent in haste. An eloquent and able defence of the accused was read by Mr G. Mr Roberts was quiescent, but appeared to enjoy it immensely ; his eyes sparkled 1 CLOSING SCENE. Furioso: The play's play'd out! i Two guineas daily, gone! Alas, my friends—'tis done. Prisoner : I'm ready to " fall in." Furioso: You must "fall out." Bystander: Perhaps you think he's still a wretched scout. v [Court closes, much to Prisoner's satisfaction, hut to the regret of certain dignified officers. Prisoner remains in custody till his Excel- j ■' lency the Governor indicates his will and pleasure.] Furioso: The time draws hear— > My extra pay is done ; Hughes, my poor friend, Your martial course is run. [Aside] Two guineas a day ! Alas! [The Court adjourned.] ■-■'."•EAST. SCENE' OP ALL." Parade—tete k " Quad." Furioso. The finding is, I 'ra loath to say, " Guilty " for all your sins that day, Pave that the pistol was not levell'd at, But pointed 15° above his hat. The sentence is, indeed, most lenient: Three months in gaol, with labor hard; But just because its most convenient. The C O remits, condoles, and sends regard. "-* v