LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

Wairarapa Daily Times, 21 June 1930, Page 5

LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

v >—Unconscious Candour. “Some women can’t believe a word their husbands say,” she remarked. “Well,” confided the other, “I’m not quite so badly off as that. My husband talks in his sleep.” * * • * Nicely Put. One of the partners of the firm died, and young Ronald, the senior cleik, fancied there would be a chance of promotion, so he visited the other partner. * *l*lll sorry to hear of Mr Jones s death,” he said oilily, “and wondered if you would like me to take his place ? “I should very much,” came the reply, “if you can get the undertaker to arrange it. ” • • * Preferred a Strike. A good Segrave story was told by William Joynson-Hieks when proposing the toast of Major Segrave at a London luncheon. “During the general strike,”

- Sir William Joynson-Hicks said, “the gallant major was instructed to take a somewhat elderly police sergeant from Whitehall to Mitcham. They got there in fournnd a half minutes. As lie got the policeman exclaim'orive~me as many general strikes as you like, but never any more rides with this gentleman’.” From Whitehall to Mitcham is about eight miles. average speed of Major Segrave’s car, if the ex-Home Secretary’s figures were correct, was nearly 107 miles per hour. * * * *

World’s Fastest Train. Traversing 334 miles between Montreal and Toronto in 360 minutes, including stops, the International Limited is, claimed by the Canadian National Railways, the fastest train in the world at that distance. It may be stated that this train covers the distance of SIS miles between Montreal and Chicago in 17 hours 15 minutes, and makes 2S stops en route. The wage bill of the Canadian National Railways ■works out at £66 a minute. During ev- " ' ery minute of 1929 the C.N.R. performed a transportation service equivalent to moving 41,722 tons of freight and 2666 passengers one mile. * * * •

Yankee “Uplift.” “Physician, cure thyself,” might easily be Mr Ramsay MacDonald’s reply to the hundred and two clergymen in America who have cabled him advice to make an. amicable settlement with Gandhi. Uplifting the rest of the world has become an obsession with Americans. In particular they are insistent upon reforming the British Empire. In this there is no small amount of jealousy, due to the unfailing nonsuccess with which the United States has governed her own dependencies. For thirty years she has failed to produce contentment in the Philippines. Her ■border country, Mexico, is in continuous disorder.: Cuba, Haiti, and San Domingo enjoy a military intervention at regular intervals. Her own coloured population is a constant menace. * * * •

“Indigestion.” I — When Anthony Agrista, employed as a circulation route man by a New York evening newspaper, awoke one morning in his home at Brooklyn, • his, stomach pained him so severely that he sus-

pected an attack of acute indigestion. V He telephoned for his family physician. The doctor listened to the symptoms, and shook his head. It was not indigestion, he decided; more likely the pain was caused by some internal injury.

While he prepared to examine Agrista he asked him if he had met with any accident. Agrista could not recall one. He had had an argument with several mem the night before, he admitted, and he remembered that one man had struck him in the face. But beyond that, he insisted, there was nothing. The examination, however, disclosed that Agrista had'lxeen shot through the stomach. He was rushed to the hospital.

-Beautifying. ... , .... “Christ Church College, Oxford, has shown the way—its garage is the most beautiful garage in the world,” says a writer in London “Truth.” “There are countries where the railway stations are beautiful, there are countries where the railway stations are hideous. England is an example of the latter. It is too late now to remedy that —but there is still time to do something about garages. There is no conceivable reason why they should disfigure the landscape—they could add to its splendour like the works of bygone .civilisations. Why should a Roman aqueduct be impressive, and an English aerodrome mean? Similarly, why should a posting station be picturesque and a garage revolting? The twin problems of the garage and the car park, in spite of their formidable extent, are not at all difficult to solve. We only need a little courage and rather more energy to divert • these necessary appendages of modern transport into the proper channels and win the lasting gratitude of posterity for the generation of 1930.”