LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

Wairarapa Daily Times, 29 June 1928, Page 4

LIFE’S LITTLE WANTS.

Just Ripe! At a recent banquet of the Zoological Society of Ireland, eggs sent from China 50 years ago were served and pronounced delicious. * * • • On Calling Terms. Mrs Riley: “Are yez on callin’ terms wid our neighbour?” Mrs Murphy: “Av coorse oi am. Sho called me a thaife and I called her another.” • • • Standing Treat! “So sorry to hear that your husbaCl has been drinking again, Mrs Miggs. Of course, drunkenness is a disease. He ought to be treated by a physician. ’J 1 ‘ Bless ye, -’e wouldn’t mind that, sirWhen my ’usband’s ’ad a drop, •'Te don’t care ’oo treats ’im.” • • . . » • Absent-minded!

The professor and his wife were returning from the theatre. “Now who is absent-minded?” he said, triumphantly', producing two umbrellas from under his arm. “You forgot your urn-gj brella, and i remembered not only mineP but yours, too.” “But,” said his wife, “neither of us brought one!” « * # * What Chance? Hotel Porter (expecting tip): Hope you’ll have a comfortable journey, sir. Scot: Yerra sorry, laddie, but I’ve gi’en ma sma’ change to the chambermaid. Hotel Porter: She told me you didn’t give her anything. Scot: A—weel, if I didua gie yon bourne lassie anything, what sort of chance d’ve think ye’ve got? * * * * fr What is a Hogget? r t

When the legal mind sets to work to define a word, the definition given is generally accurate. The word hogget was used fairly frequently during the hearing of a land transaction case at the Wanganui Supremo Court last week, and several attempts were made to define this word, which even to the compilers of dictionaries is a puzzle. A schoolboy once was known to say that a hogget was a young pig, and he was reprimanded for his ignorance. It is interesting to note, however, that Funk and Wagnall, the compilers of the well known dictionary, state that a hogget i; a boar in his second year, or a sheep or a colt after his first year. This definition would not be accepted by farmers, however, who are mo-st particular how they classify and name their stock. Up to fibout February, or weaning time, farmers will call a last year’s# lamb a lamb, but in March the same animal will 'be called a hogget, which he remains up to lambing time again, when he becomes a two-tooth. One contention is that a lamb becomes a hogget when it is weaned from its mother and commences to feed off grass. Tap is perhaps as near a definition as ope can get, and one can readily sympathise with the compilers of dictionaries and encylopediae when they leave this word out of their tomes. \ , **• • y Contrast in Manners. £

Two roadside incidents, extract'd from a reporter ! s notebook, narrated to him at first hand and well verified, provide a contrast in manners (says the Dunedin “Star”). The first happened in England, many years ago. Admiral Omanney, driving from his country house into Portsmouth, overtook a mano ’-war ’s man trudging along with a bundle on his shoulder. “Jump In, lad,” sang out the Admiral, and the two went together to the dockyard gates, smeh conversation as can go on between a gunner and an Admiral beguiling the time. As the gig came to a stop, the big man said: “Hero’s a shilling for you to drink Admiral Q%Mtney’s health.” “Are you Act, Omanney?” “Yes.” “I wish I'd known.” Saying which, the unner picked up his bundle, walked the seven miles back, and walked in again, rather than accept a personal favour from an officer who was unpopular with the naw men because of his strict discipline" The contrasting incident was inf - ? Otago a few days ago. A young man, walking from Milburn to Milton, was passed by a motor car. A little further on he saw the car at a standstill. The sole occupant asked the pedestrian to lend a hand to repair a puncture. The aid was willingly given, and after half an hour’s dirty work the driver got in by himself and drove off with a bare “Thank you,” leaving the friend in need to continue his lonely journey afoot.