ALLEGED WIT.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume LXVI, Issue 11938, 27 March 1914, Page 3

ALLEGED WIT.

•''l'liat's a iinc luihy ot' yours, iliil,' , Miid the I>o.--s to his cliaufVeui-. " V(>s. .Mi- Wilkiiis." said the oliaull'enr. ''.My wife ;md I are pretly proud dt' hiiu. He's the latest model .-ill :i;: h t —.l sei i'-sart er, with an autoinai i>- airirm liiat would wake tin- dead .' " i-'irsi. lior.-iMiian (io >ec,ind ditto, who iia.s Ill's' se\-eral nasty i'alNj: "'iie.uinjier, iike nivselt'. ! see. ' ' Second I! orsoiiian : ''Oh. no. ! "\'e I'cdJoweii flir liounds oil' and on for First Horseman: '"I siv.—~l <vr\ This, ihen. is iiini'tdy one of your 'ofl" days.'-' A miner. lia\'ing a large piei'e of: >!irkinL.' plaster o\i-r I lie of lii.s j !i(i:-c, '.viMii into a local piiblir-houso . ''' Ii a lloa ! remarked the i landlord, "lmumu' for voni , liolidavs, •liti!.'- ,- ---•• Holidays ? Wii.-iC holidays'" '"Well, I see von've Lot Vollr trunk 1;:1..d1,'d." replied t lie landlord. .Anidiig <-lf;-;c:;l ;: tiecdoi t -.-- is th.'i 1 of ihe '.icar a.nd curate who had ijiiarrol- !.•'!, and Hi" ciwale was i-e-pirst'',! to Jiud >.)ine oilii'i , i-oniircga i ion to miiiistcM , to. He. 1 iii■i'l'l'iirr, preachi'd his I'ai'e■wi'll sei'inoii, and the parishioners came in crowds to he;u' liini. •' .M \" li'xi, " he said, ''is taken from the mo\'ing stoi'V of Abraham. 'Tarry ye here with the ass while .1 ... go yonder '! '' Young Gih's. eager Io join the, Motropoiiinn Police Force, journeyed to London to pass the necessary medical examination. This he survived satisfactorily, and the next day the proud young recruit was interviewed by a 'high official. ''Well, my man,'' said the Ini.ter, ''you look a promising soi't of fellow. What kind of education have you had?" "Oh, sir,' , said the recruit, "I was educated at a county school." "All, and you have a good general knowledge, I hope? ,, "Oh, yes, sir." ''I wonder —can you tell me, for example, how many miles it is from London to Edinburgh?" At this the recruit became nervously agitated, and at length he blurted out: — "Look here,' sir, if you'ro going to put me on that beat, I'm dono with the force.''