ALLEGED WIT.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume LXVI, Issue 11934, 23 March 1914, Page 6

ALLEGED WIT.

Oh. by (lie way. dear,'" said the merchant, as he was preparing to leave the house in the morning, '"if I lind I. can't lie home to dinner .1. will send a note by messenger.'"' ''Don't trouble,'"

said his wife, sweetly; '"I have already found it on the blotting-pad.' .

There is a certain long-suffering father whose nerves sometimes give way under the s constant lire of questions from his talkative eight-year-old son. "Dad," asked the youngster, just as the old man had one evening settled down for a persual of his newspaper. "Dad, am 1 made of dust?" "I think not!" responded tne unhappy parent. "Otherwise you'd <iry up now and then. "

A labourer lioinj; through the market place found a five-sliilliny; piece. Seeing a lawyer approaching, he accosted him thus: ''Hi, mate, is this a good

■'un.'" ''Yes, it is, ,- answered the lawyer, pocketing the iive-shilliug piece. "Call round at my office to-mor-row with the other one and eight. ''

''My .n'ood friends, ,, be.van the temperance orator, '"drink is tin? yoke of the world. All the crime, all the wars, all the heart-aches of this universe can be laid at the door of intoxication. Oh, my friends, what causes more misery than liquor.' Can any one answer me that?" ••Thur-r-st! yellei a little man at the end of the hall.