ONLY FATHER'S FUN.

Wairarapa Daily Times, Volume LIX, Issue 9211, 2 November 1908, Page 3

ONLY FATHER'S FUN.

MISS CLARA CLEMENS TELLS SOME "NANNYGOATS" ABOUT HSR FATHER, MARK TWAIN.

with, I call them "nannygoats," because that was what I called them when I was a little girl. .We were crossing tho Atlantic. I remember, and father, after walking with me one morning ou the promenadedeck, suddenly had au idea, and stopped short iv the middle of a stride. "I'm going inside," he told me. "Dou'c let anyone disturb.me, Clara; and, if they ask where I am, say I'm writing up au auecdote." Sure enough, five minutes later a gentleman came up to me and asked for father.

"Oh, he mustn't bo disturbed !" I told him. "He's inside with a namiygoat!" Being in Loudou without a father, as I am now, is quito a novel oxporieuce for me, for I liayo dove comparntitely little travelling without him. One big advantage of having him ou a journey is that he is practical, and counts evorything. Hβ counts tho packagos when he gets into a tigjift, ami again when he gets out, audWthe two totals don't tally ho knows that something has been lost. I remember his once counting, when >ye got into a train, elovou packages, and, when we got out, only ton. Father was in groat distress. Suddenly, however, his face lit up. "Why. Clam," lie exclaimed. "I was forgettiug you!" He had dumped mo iv with gasogeuo and umbrellas! Once he fonjot me altogether. The family had been stopping at Aix. while my sister and I were at a pension in Geneva, and fttthor. ou a certain day, was to come and moot us. \Y>' 11. became; bur when he reached the pension, he learned that wo hud .W't'c for the hotel, and. when he reached Ciif hotel, was told we were not chert , . For some time he drove from t-hx Ui ; u<ku! to the hotel and from the ho-vl to the pension, aud. then, sud-Jt-nly he .forsot what he was looking Wh.u did lit , do? He drove back to che hotel aud asked them. Father, us perhaps yon know, always smokes the strongest, worst fiinvrs obtainable in America. He iiaßk'igai's that talk—shout, if possib^F Ou one occasion we lauded in France, aud were going through the Customs. Father declared everything —among the rest, a number of these strong cigars "Two huudred fniucs," said the official. "But, my dear man," said father, "they diuu't cost mo as much as that?" "Two hundred francs," repeated the iiiiia. "Yon won't got me to pay that!" said father. "It isn't fair duty ! There you are ' Take the cigars. You can have them '"' The official smiled,and made no objection. Snipping oft" the end of oue, he lit up, aud was soon puffing away to his heart's conteut. As a matter of fact father had known quite well what he was doing. He watched the man turning a delicate green. "Here,you can pass them through !" murmured the official. "I've come to the conclusion that they don't come under the heading of dutiable articles "' Finally, a"nauuygoat" about father aud a telephone. SjKjeoue raug, but when father todVip the receiver he couldn't get any answer. "What the blacky blank blauk blank'" roared father. Is that you, Mr Clemens?" came over the line. "This is Mr Taffc!" Ye<=; this is Mr Olemeus," answered father, in milk-aud-lioney accents. I must apologise for anything my man may have been saying. But he doesn't understand how these telephones work!"