SIDELIGHTS ON CRICKET

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 83, Issue 254, 27 October 1939, Page 11

SIDELIGHTS ON CRICKET

ARTHUR MAILEY IN FACETIOUS MOOD MAKES OBSERVATIONS

Cricket is again under way in Australia—it soon will be in New Zealand too —and its advent has afforded an opportunity for Arthur Malley, exAustralian Test googly bowler, cartoonist and journalist, to make some breezy observations concerning the game. Mailey is at his best when he has the inspiration of flannelled figures and the sound of ball meeting willow to help him, and in recent articles in the Sydney Daily Telegraph he has something to say about that "much maligned by-product of cricket,” the umpire, and how he considers the game might be relieved of some of its seriousness. It all starte I witl s suggesting that, as th? N ■ South Wales Cricket

Association can no longer afford to pay j grade umpires, it is up to th? players | to foot the bill. “Although umpires have in the past , teen most unsympathetic to my ap- j peals, I have a soft spot for this much- I maligned by-product of cricket,” he ' wrote. "Still, at the moment, the : game is in such a precarious position I financially that one does not know | whether the New South Wales Cricket j Association can afford to spend more ■ than £lO9O a season on this luxury. | With th? possible exception of Hyde Park draughts, grade cricket is the cheapest game played in Sydney. Lot For A Little. “Grade players pay an annual subscription of one guinea and a weekly batting fee of one shilling or therc-cbc-its. For this amount they are

provided with bats fashioned by the . world’s greatest artists, pitches which ; have been watered by the perspiration I of groundsmen, dressing-rooms in j which cold and hot (sometimes) water is at their disposal, plus a dignified I and respectful army of umpires. I Teams are faced with the problem of : having efficient umpires at a price, or ineflic.cnt men who may act voluntarily. "A suggestion has been put forward •that ex-first grade and first-class cricketers might officiate without payj ment. I have no doubt that many ex- . plovers would come to the rescue if ; they were approached. These, in adI dition to regular umpires who arc I prepared to carry on without payI ment, may be sufficient to see the season through.” in a subsequent article Mailey confessed that he had let himself in for something by his suggestion, but explained that he was nevertheless prepared, should he be called upon, to do what is loosely called the right thing. He followed this up with a characteristic tilt at umpires. Here it is"Umpires, in my opinion, are too dignified, and if I was given the opportunity of showing my prowess in that direction I would make drastic alterations. People who have sat patiently on the Hill waiting for a Test match to begin accept with excellent grace and tolerance the entry of two wnitecoated gentlemen through the gates. These gents march in the direction ol the stumps, look at the sky, then at the clock, and take up positions near he playing area. This ritual belongs to a past generation. Cakewalk. "If I was an umpire 1 would cakewalk to th? wickets (jazz is too modern’. In addition, I would wear the uniform of the Grenadier Guards, i When I and my pal, George Berwick, th*-* Test umpire, walked on to the arena the band would strike up ‘The ! British Grenadiers.’ The clanking of I swords and the jingling of spurs would , be heard until we took up positions at the stumps. After saluting each other ’ and the hiilites, we would then call on ’ the players. Tills is what is wanted in ! grade cricket. "Now regarding the technical side of the game. I would allow captains to ! close their innings before they started jatting. That. I think, would fool the • scorers, the pressmen and the Board ' of Control. Close In Time For A “Spot.” I "If, on the other hand, the captain winning the toss decided to bat, I I would compel him to close at a quarter to six. It would be five to six at the Sydney Cricket Ground, because the bar is more handy. Maybe an umpire has domestic duties to perform, i It is possible that he is expected to j buy vegetables before six o’clock. In that case, four tail-enders will be given out l.b.w. between 5.30 and 5.45.