HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 80, Issue 307, 28 December 1937, Page 3

HUMOUR

Bull’s-Eye. , After opening the village fete, th® Bishop was persuaded to take his stand at the wicket in the cricket match which followed. For the first ball th® bowler, a young curate, bowled a fearful “wide.” “I say,” remarked the Bishop, “df try to keep the ball in the parish.” The next ball broke short and caught him fairly and squarely in the stomach. “At any rate,” murmured the bowler, “that was well within the diocese, my lord.”

A frequenter of one of our betterknown seashores noticed a man who went bathing every day with a straw hat on his head. Upon inquiring the use of this seemingly superfluous p ete of headgear, he received the reply:— “You see, I'm not a very good swimmer, and when my hat begins to float I know I'm out o| mv dryd:;

“It was so cold where we were,’* said the Arctic explorer, “that the candle froze and we couldn't blow it out.” “That's nothing,” said his rival. “Where we were the words came out of our mouths in pieces of ice, and we had to fry them to see what we were talking about.”

Mrs Green was putting in a good word for her husband at the gossip party. “He’s very generous, you know,” she said. “I gave him a large box of cigars for his birthday, and, would you believe it, he only smoked uno of them and gave the rest to his +'riends.”

Ono of Britain’s popular blond® beauties, a London actress, received in r.er dressing-room a woman admirer who had called to “talk art.” The conversation had fallen flat, due largely to the fact that the beautiful blonde would talk of nothing but herself. Finally, the visitor turned in det pe rat ion to an old stand-by. “I suppose,” she said, “that yougreat ambition is to play Shaket peare? ” “Well,” said the actress, “he hat written some nice parts.