HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 80, Issue 255, 27 October 1937, Page 3

HUMOUR

4 ‘Sir, there’s a man at the gate a.ik'ing if any of our patients have escaped lately,” said the awlum attendant lo liis chief. "Why does he waul lo know?”

He

lie had enjoyed himself thoroughly and tried to open the door to his flat with his hall-smoked cigar. He fumbled for five minutes, trying to insert the cigar in the keyhole. Then, grumbling to himself, he staggered out into the air again. Outside he looked at the cigar in his hand. A surpri.-cd explosion crossed his face. "Why. I mbe drunk,’’ he mumbled. “I. been smokin’ my key all night! ' ’

L Everyday. 2. Holiday. A Negro was rambling down a

country road, ills clothes were worn out and patched in a hundred place.-, his toes stuck out of his shoes, and hii hat had holes in it like a shrimp net. He was whistling a joyful tunc, a blissful smile on his face. A white man saw him pass, and call ed after him to stop. ‘‘Rastus, do you want to make a shilling?” 4 'Naw, suh, I hank 'ce. Not to-day. i got a shilling. ’ ’

“I’m very sorry but we have broken one of the blades ! ”

A little boy had been reported to his father for stealing apples from the stall outside a fruiterer’s shop, and the parent was pointing out the evils of theft. "My boy,” he said, "you must have known it is dishonest to steal. And, in any case, didn’t your conscience tell you the man was watching?”

“Jim, 1 don’t like you disturbing the maid during her work ! ”

A man from Aberdeen came to London to see the sights, and took up residence at a hotel. On his departure he gave the head waiter a tip. "Thank you very much, sir,” said the waiter. 4 ‘And I hope Aberdeen is looking fine when you return.” “Guid sake, mon, hoo d’ye ken I’m frac Aberdeen?” 4 ‘Oh, I guessed it, sir, from the toothmarks on the threepenny-bit’.”