HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 306, 28 December 1936, Page 10

HUMOUR

Way Out His play had been refused seven.’ times, but he still kept turning up with it, re-written here and there. The eighth time the manager told him firmly that it was useless. “But sir,” said the playwright, “is there no posible way you could put my farce on the stage?' '’ “Well,” was the reply, “there’s one way, but I don’t know if you'd submit ’ ’ “Oh, I’d submit!” he cried. ‘‘l’d •übmit to anything.” “Then,” said the manager, “we’ll grind it up and use it as a snowstorm.”

“How charming this rural silence and tranquility. . . . For the past two hours we haven't seen a car!”

The porter ran along the platform to give a passenger the ticket he had got for him. *‘Here’s your ticket, sir: six an’ tuppence it cost,” he gasped. “Here’s six shillings, my man,” said the passenger. “Keep the twopence for yourself. ”

“No, I haven't seen your shaving-' brush, but now that you've mentioned it, I noticed that Henry has a new ta i on his horse!"

A meek little man was in court for a minor offence. “Were you ever in trouble before?” asked the magistrate. “Well, er—er —’’ the hesitating response, “I kept a library book too long once-and was lined threepence.'’

“Who is taut girl?’’ “She is my wife!” * ‘Your wife??.’” “Yes; turn the picture upside down I nd see for yourself.’

Anthusiastie goiter came home to dinner. During the meal his wile said: *‘Willie tells m$ he caddied for you t his afternoon! ’’ “Well, do you know." said Willie's father, “I thought I'd .'••on that bov before. ’ ’

“Have we got cvervtihing for lhe •Hip, Emily?' “Well, yes, everything except the tureen! ”

First Negro: •’What f.i' you name your baby 'Electricity,’ Hose?” Second Negro; -Well, mah name ,m Mose and my wife’s name am Dinah, •and if Dinahmose don’t make electrieHy, what dorr *”