Round The World With A Camera

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 111, 12 May 1936, Page 10

Round The World With A Camera

j HUMOUR

HUMOUR

~ i Wooden j The enterprising secretary of the in ferior dramatic club had succeeded in persuading a dramatist to witness a production of one of his plays. At the end of the second act the secretary, blissfully oblivious of the dramatists bufferings, inquired: ‘ And what do you think of our club, sir.’” The dramatist looked at his questioner more in sorrow than in anger. “It strikes me,” he replied, “as not bo much a club a-' a ’ u_-

‘‘Yes, darling, of course, but let s keep our engagement secret for thi present.”

Stories “Only last year in India,” boomed the club bore, “£ suddenly found my self face to face with a man-eating tiger. ’ ’ ‘‘And only last week,” murmured the quiet little man in the corner,‘‘in a restaurant. 1 ’ • f. t«» fac“

made there. Did my little Alfred I p to make him?” “Well. ye.'. Vos he’s inside.”

Taking the Blame The end of the term had arrived, and the teacher, approaching one of hirather backward scholars, said: “3 u haven’t learned much in this class, have you, my boy .’’ ’ “I admire you, sir,” replied the boy. f ‘for taking the blame in that broad ninded fashion. ’ ’ —Pearson’.-.

Al tiie telephone box: “It’s ail right, officer. I’m only getting my pennies back because J called Melbourne ami the number was engaged.”

Help! The train was rating along at sixty miles an hour, and Brown dozing »u was disturbed by a fellow-passenger rushing along the corridor. • “Excuse me,” gasped this excited in-1 dividual, ‘‘but is your wife a rather stout woman wearing a green costume and a black hat ?” “Yes,” replied Brown. ‘‘What’s all] the excitement about?” “Excitement! The excitement is that I she’s just fallen out of the train.’’ “Good Heavens!” shrieked Brow n. “Don’t stand there doing nothing, Pu’l ' the communication cord. She’s got the'

Ihe sandwich man:— , i, - awful weather but 1 get a shilling an hour for displaying the board.”

A well-known champion of Prohibition has a pronounced stutter. Not long ago he went on a walking tour with a friend and called at an inn for refreshment, naturally ordering a strictly non aloholic drink. “Ah!” said the man, after his first long draught, “this ginger beer is very good. Let’s have another.” And he called for another round of the same drink. But when the harman came to collect payment, both friends were astonished at the amount charged, and said as much. "Oh, no,” said the barman, “that’s not dear; you asked JMr uin- n ginger beer, didn’t you??”

Waiter!

The street musician was tired, and the kindly motorist agreed to give him a lift as far as the next town. As they were racing at terrific speed down a hill, the motorist suddenly shouted above the noise of the .car: “What instrument do you play?” The musician shouted in reply: “The violin! ’ ’ The driver crouched over the steer-ing-wheel, peering ahead. He yelled: “That’s a pity!” “Why is it a pity?” demanded th* musician. “It’s a pity you don’t play the harp!” yelled the. motorist. “Th( brakes won’t work!”

I’ll just set the alarm clock an lioui earlier for he’s got a darned 10l tu tidy up in the morning.”

Knew His Stuff ’rhe bridegroom was embarrassed; the bride was self-possessed. “If it were only over!” he whispered, excitedly. “1 know I’ll do it wrong. ’ ’ “Lt won’t take long, darling,” she answered, consolingly. “You haven’t much to say.” •Suddenly there came to the ears uf the bridegroom the voice of the minister, saying: “Kindly change places with the bride.” The bridegroom tried to do so, but stepped on the toe of her shoe and, raising his arm, caught his cuff button in her veil. “Do be careful,” she imployed. The minister began the ceremony. The bridegroom grew more and more “If any man can show any just cause,” said the minister, “why they may not lawfully be joined together Jet him now speak ” “I will!” shouted the bridegroom.

The amateur ; . . at home. rTIs wife: “I say, Arthur, haven’t you finished developing that snap yet?”