HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 208, 5 September 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

■\ua: ( li.au nils strolling down the man stre.'t of the town, holding a large <lo t i>y a leash, when he met a friend. Th, talk turned from one thing to another and at last the discussion turned - the merits of the dog. “Yes,” said the owner, “that do: can smell a. bird a mile away.” “Indeed!” said his friend, inercm. Jou>l\. He glauced at the dog ami was su prised to see the animal sniffing. ••That dog acts as if n bird wei. under his nose, and there isn’t a bn unvwhcw.* near,” he said. The owner looked perplexed. Upon seeing some other men in con versution, ho approached one of the. and inquired: “Eardon me, sir, bid have you a bird in your pocket?” ••No,” answered the man. I 1,,. (,„ ~(..■ of the dog was puzzle t but after a few moments of dc-.f\ thought, he snid. ‘'Excuse me, bn “Partridge. ’’ • Ah!” exclaimed the owner to bfriend, ‘‘that explains it. ’

When the horse went lame.

Finally The editor of the country newspapet went home to dinner smiling radiantly “You must have had some good for tune this morning,” greeted his wife. “Indeed I did,” announced the editor, "Jim Smith, who hasn’t paid his subscription for ten years, came in and stopped his paper.” Awful! A lady asked a pupil at a public ex amination, "What was the sin of the Pharisees?” “Eating camels, martn,” quickly re plied the child. (She had read that Pharisees ‘‘strained at gnats and swallowed cam els.”l

Why the piano was out of tin

Reverse Gardening “What do you mean—that you are going to reverse the usual process when you make your garden next spring?” "Im going to plant weed seeds aim see if vegetables won’t come up.” Clever Customer: “I should like that pairot. But can it talk?” Dealer: "Talk! Why, it flew from Paraguay to China, asking its own way all the'time.” <?> 'S> That's Easy “Jane,” said a lady to her servant, “you have broken more than your wages amount to. What can bo done t" es prevent this?”’ “I. really don’t know, mum,” said Jane, “unless you raise my wages.”

Bill Sykes: “It's all right, she sleep like a top.”

Sis Text The Negro preacher had success!u iy concealed the fact that he had serve, a term in prison, but years of upright : iing had not destroyed his fear ol posure. One Sunday, on rising to begin sermon, his heart sank on seeii one of the front pews a former mute. Quick thinking wus net ■ Ho fixed his eyes on tho strong, delivered himself slowly and . sively: “Ah takes mah text dis m .. from do sixty-fo' chapter an’ de Inindre’th verse oh de gospel, " I say ‘Dem as sees mo an’ knows i > Inn’ says nothin,* dem Ah see later.