HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 199, 26 August 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

Same View. “Don’t you miss your husband when" he is travelling?” “Oh, no, I have a wonderful scheme; I prop a newspaper up in front of his plate at breakfast —and I often completely forget that h? isn’t there.’’ <3> <s> <S> A Friend Indeed. •M v wife’s eloped with my best friend.’’ “Really W ho is he?l’ ‘I haven’t the least idea.” <®> <3> Perfectly Obvious. The new maid answered the telephone, muttered something, and slammed down the receiver, angrily. “Who was that?” asked her employer. “L was expecting a business call.” “That wasn’t it, sir,” said the girt “Just a man saying, ‘lt’s a long distance from London. ’ I told him we know. ’ ’

The son of the meteorologist

Saving His Lordship. At the close of his talk before a Bunday school the bishop invited questions. A tiny boy with white, eager face at once raised his hand. 4 ‘Please, sir,” he said, “why was Adam never a baby?” The bishop coughed, in doubt as io what answer to give, but a little girl the eldest of several brothers and sisters, came promptly to his aid. “Please sir,” she answered smartly, •'‘there was nobody to nurse him.” O <3> ❖ > t The Missing. “1 fear that young man I gave a job to last week is dishonest.” “Oh. yon shouldn’t judge by appearances.” 4 ‘l’m not: I’m judging by disap pearances.* ’

“Well, will the little bow-wow have a bone with a bit of flesh on?”

Tactless. The hill was steep and the load heavy. The donkey did its best, but at last it stopped and would not budge another inch. The driver saw a man passing. “Excuse me,” he said, ‘‘but could you help me to get this load to the top of hili? 1 It’s too much for one donkey.” <s> -$> <» Tit For Tat. After an immense amount of trouble, the vicar of a country parish succeed ed in reconciling two old women who had been quarrelling for some years. He even induced them to meet under the vicarage roof. In his drawing-room they shook hands. After an embarrassed silence ene of them said: ‘‘Well, Mrs Tyler, I wish you all yon wishes me.” “An’ who’s saying nasty things now?”, snapped Mrs Tyler.

■Wfril caused the world champion cyclist to break his own record.

Not Pair. o*Elaherty was paying a visit to New York. On his lirst night there he was dining out with an American friend when the latter said:— “You know, Mr O’Flaherty, there’s a big difference in time between my country and yours. While we are enjoying ourselves now, your folk in Cork t are in bed and asleep.” 4 ‘And isn’t that always the way.”’’ ! \ escfaimed O’Flaherty indignantly “Trc-j * land nivver got justice yet! '