HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 169, 22 July 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

A Good Reason. Ma: “I’ommy, you seem to love pap:, better than you do me.” Tommy: “I don’t ni2au to; but, you see, pa always has his pockets full o’ pennies. ” Good Advice. Jones; Now. if you were in my sliuea, what do you think you would do in the mat t er? ” Brown (examining them): “Well, I think J should get another pair.” » Uncertain. Gig-Game Hunter: What kind uf an animal was that I. shot just now.* Guide: Well, I don’t exactly know but ho says his name in Jones!

“At last I have found a use f<

Much Too High “This morning my small son offered me a penny for my thoughts.” “The boy does not know the value of money yet.” Very Musical. Vicar (to choir boy who has sung a solo in the parish church very satisfne torily): “My lad, you sang very well tonight. Are any of your relations musical people?” Boy; “Yes, sir; father is.” “What does he do?” “Please, sir, he’s doorkeeper at a cinema. ”

“You rang, sir/’’ “ Yes, [ would like to ask if this is what you mean in your advertisement that there is running water in the rooms? ’ ’

Elimination. First Hunter: “Hey, Bill!’ Second Hunter; “Yeah?” First Hunter: “You all right?” Second Hunter: “Yeah.” First Hunter: “Then I’ve shot a <s> <s> <£ Thought of Everything. Life Insurance Agent: “My dear dr, have you made any provision for hose who come after you?” Harduppe: “Yes; I put the dog at :he door, and told the servant to sa,' L’m out of town.”

‘‘The radio announcer says there w be a light east wind!”

An old lady in Loudon for the Jii> lime in her life, saw ou tftie front uf : high building a glaring sign whicl read: “Tho Smith Manufacturing Co.' “Lawks a mercy,” she remarked t< her nephew, “I’ve heard of Smiths a! my life, but 1 never knew whore thev \ Welshman possessed a line ba> voice, in which he took an honest pride Meeting a friend he confided that h< had had a remarkable dream. “Dreanipi 1 was in ’eaven,” he said. ‘‘Oh, but i’ was line! There was such a choir a you’ve never seen. Five thousanc superannoes, live thousand altos, live thousand tenors—all singing at onct double forte. Oh, magnificent! But al of a sudden the conductor stopped tin lot—like that he did; and he said t< me, ‘Not quite so loud in the bass, Joi" Jones! ’ ‘ ’