HUMOUR

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 79, Issue 164, 16 July 1935, Page 10

HUMOUR

The Critics. Bundy bad opened a fish store, am ae had a large sigu paint .‘d which read. -I’rcsh Fish Sold Here.” A neighbour criticised the sign. Y•• . don't need the word ‘fresh’ on it; Hs :ire supposed to be fresh,” he sa : : -o Sandv painted th: “fresh ■ Another neighbour critici-<d the words ‘sold here’ on it. > everybody must know I hey re hei"‘.” And so Sandy painted out tho . words, 100, and left the single w<u I fish” remaining. third friend, diil mure .ritiiuil, next liny came, up ami rmnplainml: "You might, as "ell scratch out. the ‘fish,’ too. when you can smell it » mile away.” /

“While I'm under the gas would ju please cut my corns??

Two travellers arrived at the hotel and werj show n a rather dingy room. “What.” said one, “does this pigsty cost ?” Promptly the proprietress replied: “For one pjg. thirty shillings; for two pigs, fifty shillings.”

The Landlord to his Wife: “I think re will be obliged to give the trombone layer a larger room.’’

"Yes,” said he. “I once had a very clever house dog. He could always tell the difference between a gentleman and a tramp!” “And what happened to him? ’ asked a friend. “Oh, I had to give him away. He bit me!”

“By Jove, I thought it was a camel I was stuffing!”

The old lady was being visited by the vicar. She said, “I wish you would offer prayers in the church tor me. V icar. ’ ’ “Certainly I vs ill’.* ’ "1 wish you would mention what is the matter with me—l hav 1 a floating kidney. ’ ’ “I can't very well do that.” "I don’t sec why not,” protested tb< lady. “I've often heard you praying for

‘•Remember, dear, to put your spectacles in the case. Y’ou know how often those ’planes crash.”

Clerk: “ I have received a letter'from a linn asking for a reference for that man Smith who used to work here." Manager: “Tell them he's a rougue Lnd ,-i thief, and that anything '"•