“THE HUMORIST’S PAL" IN JOLLY MOOD

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 73, Issue 115, 17 May 1930, Page 4 (Supplement)

“THE HUMORIST’S PAL" IN JOLLY MOOD

Dear Wendy,—Please don’t get a shock at my return. I am ashamed of myself. The Hut pages seem to grow more interesting every day. "Old Gran” writes beautiful letters and and “Cows’ ” keep us smiling. My! but “Cows” makes my

sides sore with laughter. She says the people must be a lot more “giggly-fied” (is there such a word?) nowadays, because they do nothing or little else’but laugh from start to finish when conversing with her. I can quite understand why they laugh. Can you? She's the jolliest girl 1 know. I know quite a lot of Welsh people and they are very interested in our “Taffy.” They ask me to find out his proper name, or to speak nicely to you to gain his identity. If he

will not permit you to publish it on your pages, will you please send it to “Cows” to send on to me? 1 went out visiting today. I borrowed my pal’s ("Cows’ ”) spirit and all we could do was laugh. My bike had to get a puncture and I had to wheel it home. Wise tyre, eh, Wendy? I read that our dear “White Forget-me-not” is thinking of retiring, I hope she doesn’t. Anyway, she’ll find she simply can't. “Cows” said sho’d retire once but found it impossible. Whatever would we do without “White Forget-me-not’s” cheery letters? I heard that “Old Liz” returned you safely from your trip. The roads must have been asphalted. If you attempted to ride from Wangaehu Hill to Bulls in her you’d need to tell someone to come behind and pick up the pieces (the pieces would be parts of you and parts of “Old Liz”). Well, let’s put a step on the gas. Cheerily, vours, “THE HUMORIST’S PAL,” Carterton.'

How jolly of you, my dear, to write to me after all this long while. I could not help but feel worried about you. I thought perhaps you had become ill or something equally dreadful We have some wonderful writers in our Hut, haven’t we? I will draw “Taffy’s” attention to your letter. He may give me his consent io reveal his identity to you for your friends. Punctures are most annoying, aren't they? Tyres usually puncture when most inconvenient. We can neither do without “White Forget-me-not” nor “Cows.” We must never lose our laughter-mongers, must we? —Wendy.

“DAD’S DELIGHT,” Wanganui.—How pleased I am to have your welcome letter this week, my dear. I have often wondered and wondered what could have happened to you of late. I expect you have been busy of late with your homework. I hope you are enjoying your holidays. You must tell me something about them later. I am pleased you like your teacher. I know her, and I think she is a nice teacher, indeed. If you listen to her and do all she asks you will get on very well. I am sure you are going to pass this year, too. You’ll work ever so hard, won’t you? Autumn leaves are lovely. I sometimes pick them up and admire their gorgeous colourings. I have not heard from “Bonnie Doone” for quite a while. I wonder what can have happened to her? That’s right, you write to her and perhaps you will find she ha« been ill or something equally wretched. So you love our pages, and all the lovely letters.’ I love them, too, dear. Goodness, but what a funny wee sketch you send me of yourself.—Wendy.

Dear Wendy,—Whatever is a chap to do to gain peace while in the presence of “White Forget-me-not?” Although "Big Brother” says that I deserve all I get I'm sure you and your ’ites will sympathise with me. Do say “No, the poor fellow does not deserve such harsh treatment.” Anyway, Wendy, I’ll tell you all about it. I went over to “White Forget-me-not’s” place yesterday and as I reached the back door I was rushed by no other than young Tibby herself. Before I knew what was happening I found myself covered in flour. You see, Wendy, your Wendyite was cooking and when she heard my motor-cycle stop she rubbed flour all over her hands and lay in wait for me. After I had brushed my clothes and removed the flour from my face I settled myself in an easy chair to watch Tibby. All the watching I did was harmless, Wendy, for as soon as your ’ite noticed that I was comfortable she said to me, “Oh, do go out and chop some wood for me. Look, my fire is nearly out.” Away I went and made myself busy with a log of wood and the axe and about ten minutes later returned to "White Forget-me-not” with an arm full of wood only to discover that she had a box full of wood already cut. She said to me, “Thanks awfully Snowball (my pet name), but you looked too comfortable sitting in that chair.” I sat down once again and was very interested in watching her mixing nut bread and before she could put it in the oven she had to take out some small cakes. While she was doing this I turned to watch a train as it went by the window and I had no sooner turned my back when what the dickens? Do you know, Wendy, “White Forget-me-not” had put a hot cake down the back of my neck. I twisted round in my chair very quickly as you can well guess and kept a sharp look out so that she would not play any more pranks on me. Later I was watching her making pastry and was barracking her and telling her she wasn’t doing it the right way when suddenly I found that she had put the dough over my face and I heard her say, “Very well, young man, do it yourself.” My word, Wendy, I did have a time getting it off my face and as I was in the middle of doing so in walked “Big Brother.” He laughed at me and said, “Yes, you deserve all you get,” and he wouldn’t sympathise with me as he said he would have a spell from the pranks that were being played on him. Now, Wendy, I have come to the conclusion that it’s best to leave “White Forget-me-not” in peace while she is cooking. I see by the Hut pages that “Indian Maiden” told you of our meeting. I was very pleased to make her acquaintance. Oh, and I know “Guide of Happiness,” too, as I was speaking to her and “White Forget-me-not” one evening recently. What gifted writers the winners of “Hut’s Padre’s” competition are. How beautifully they wrote those poems. Well, Wendy, time I closed. Cheerio. Kindest regards to all. Cheerily your “HUT’S UNCLE,” Putiki. Goodness me, dear “Hut’s Uncle,” but our “White Forget-me-not” does give you no peace at all. What tricks she plays upon you, poor man. Well, yes. perhaps after all your conclusion is a wise one. We have some clever writers among our members, have we not?—Wendy.

“THE QUEEN OF HEARTS,” Ohingaiti How jolly of you, dear, to write this week. I am ever so happy to have your jolly letter. What a scene of activity it must have beert when all the cattle were being herded in preparation for the winter. Our Weather Clerk is a wonderful fellow, isn’t he? Ho has sent such beautiful days of lata. I will send you your badge. I am pleased you have discovered the identities of several of our Ohingaiti ’ites. That’s fine. Chrysanthemums are beautiful flowers, aren’t they ? Basketball is a lovely game, I think, for winter. It is a tip-top sport for girls. What fun you had cleaning up at school. You will need plenty of wood for the winter, won’t you? Oh, but puppies are always so mischievous, aren’t they? Dear wee fellows, though, nevertheless.—Wendy. “QUEEN OF SILVER.” Mataroa.—Oh. but how pleased I am to have your welcome letter at last, dear. I had thought you had forgotten all about me. Y»s. dear, I spent a wonderful time on my holiday. How pleased I am to know you have met our “Phantasy.” It was sad to hear about “Sudden Storm” and “Jackie Coogan” losing their brothers, wasn’t it? I will see if I can get you a pen-friend.—Wendy. “GOLD WINGS.” Waverley.—Yes. dear. King Winter is here. His advance guard. Jack Frost, has been so busy of late, hasn’t he? He is a real rascal, too. Goodness, but how he makes our fingers and. toes tingle these mornings. That is right, dear, to succeed is the main thing. Everyone cannot be top of the class. It is lovely to have fires during the cold evenings. I do feel sorry for all the little boys and girls who have none. I will see if I can get you a pen-friend.—Wendy.

“ORANGE BLOSSOM LADY,” Okoia.—-I am pleased to hear from you this week, my dear. I hope you have passed. You will let me know, won't you? Mushrooms are scarce here, too. Jack Frost is a real scamp, isn’t he? lam pleased you are in a hockey team. It is a fine sport. The crossword puzzles are very interesting, aren’t they? The weather has been wonderful, hasn’t i?— Wendy.

“BROWNIE,” Gonville.-al am keeping quite well, thank you, my dear. How well you did during the examination. lam ever so pleased with you. You have worked hard. Goodness, but what a great win your team had. The carnival will be lovely, won’t it?—Wendy.

“LET’S PRETEND,” Patea. —How pleased I am to have your welcome letter to-day, dear. lam ever so glad you spefft such a wonderful holiday and met our “Valentine La Nina.” What kindness you received at her and her dear mother’s hands. I am happy to hear you kept in touch with our pages whilst away. Wouldn’t it have been jolly if we had met while we were both on holiday? The poems were wonderful, were they not? We have some fine authors in our midst to be sure. lam glad the badge reached you safely.—Wendy.

“TAUKAHA,” Arakuhu.-7-So jolly of you to write this week, my dear. I think it would be well to write your story about the whole of the river. The upper reaches of New Zealand’s Rhine would make the most, interesting reading. Supposing you write your story and I will publish it in instalments.—Wendy.

“CHRISTMAS ROSE.” Westmere.—Oh, but how well you did during your examinatjons, my dear. I am both pleased and proud of you. You must have worked very hard, indeed. No, I have not had- any mushrooms. They are. very scarce, aren’t they? I think the frosts have ruined them all. The poems were lovely, were they not ? Thanks for the story. I shall be awaiting its arrival. —Wendy,

“BUBS,” Tutacnui.—l am keeping quite well, thank you, my dear. How lovely to have Jean to stay with you. What fun you must have had together. It is exciting to go fishing, isn't it? Did you catch any fish? “Buster” must be very busy now. Give him my love, will you, please? lam pleased you are enjoying your holidays.— Wendy.

“WHITE ROSE FAIRY,” South Makirikiri. —My, but this is a delightful surprise, dear. How wonderfully well you have done in your examinatipn. lam proud of you. I am so pleased you like your new teacher. How lucky you were to go to town and buy such a lovely pencil. It writes splendidly, too. Ever so nice and black. Mr Printerman could never growl about it, I’m sure.— Wendy,

“TOPSY,” Wanganui.—Goodness, dear, but I thought you had forgotten all about me of late. lam so pleased to have your welcome letter this week. It is lovely to know you always read our pages regularly, dear. I spent such a happy holiday. Our Hut is growing rapidiy, isn’t it? Did the parcel contain some stockings?—Wendy.

DADDY’S SON,” Rata. —How pleased T , am to have your welcome letter, my dear, i I I am so glad you are working so hard at your studies. That is a fine spirit and one which will bring success to you if you persevere. You will let me know how you succeeded, won’t you? The weather is fine but cold, isn't it? How lucky you were to receive u parcel from Scotland. What a lovely present mother received, too.— Wendy.

SLOW COACH,” Ohau.—l am ever so happy to hear from you this week, my dear. Oh. dear, and so poor “Bunny” is now dead. Wei), that is sad. What a wretched cat to kill our dear “Bunny.” Goodness, but what a joke you had played upon you on April I.—Wendy.