IN LIGHTER VEIN

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume 72, Issue 106, 6 May 1929, Page 12

IN LIGHTER VEIN

Recent English tribulations from frozen pipes, burst boilers, and huge plumber’s bills, evidently made a deep impression on one little boy. One morning at breakfast he said pensively, “Mummy, when the pipes are all mended, and when I can have a deep bath again and when the bills are ail paid and when you’re so tired, will it be like it was before the frost camel” • • * • The Bible, state the cables, is still the world’s best seller. This despite the fact that a Christchurch clergyman declares that the Flood story was all wet, and Jonah’s adventures merely the first and best fish story. Alost people, however, still believe that Eve was made from Adam’s rib. She started. offside. • • • • A man on our staff says he’s sick and tired of reading “The bride was given away by her father/’ What he’d like, he declares, would be something more after this style. * ‘The bride was given away by her little brother, who, jumping out from beneath the sofa, shouted, ‘Hooked him at last, Alary Jane.’ ” « • • • It’s a pity more music lovers don’t believe in silent adoration. • • • • Husband (testily, after going down badly at bridge): “You might have known I had no heart, partner.” Wife (sweetly), “Quite, darling, but I thought you had a brain.” Which just goes to show that many a good life partner flops as a bridge partner. Where there’s a will there’s a relative. • • • • Rather a good stage yarn is told concerning Sir Henry Irving and. a conceited young actor who insisted on a star place on the programme, requiring that the other players be lumped together and that his own name follow grandiloquently after the coveted word “and.” . “I must have the “and,” Sir Henry, ’’ he demanded. “Ah,” replied Sir Henry, sadly, “It is ’ard to give the “and” wnere the art can never be.”