BY "Back Point"

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 20085, 2 March 1928, Page 3

BY "Back Point"

MODERN DRAMA.—Sexhibition. SIDEY’S BAND.—The back-hand gang. CONCERNING THE CLOCK.— Back-chat dialogues. THIS WEEK’S THERMOMETER. —Too cold, at forty. UNDER NEW MANAGEMENT.— The bridegroom. INVENTION WANTED. Motor brakes that get tight with the driver. CANDID.—The girl who said she was learning the piano by rule of thumps. WORRIED.—The taxpayer wh) claims that Wanganui is very much over-rated. MISQUOTATION.—That of the young man who admitted that he had kissed a sweet young thing sub nosa. EXAGGERATING.-—The man who said that the trams on his section were so slow that he had to run backwards to catch one. CONSCIENTIOUS. The pickpocket who at two o’clock on Sunday morning is going to put back all the watches he has taken during Summer Time. A woman’s face is her chemist’s fortune. Many a horse loses by a short head and many a married man succeeds by a short talc. When old Alothcr Hubbard goes to I the cupboard nowadays, it is to get ' herself some rouge. I It seems some men join ' clubs ' because they have no homes. Others, I because they have. * ♦ * • I A doctor, when asked how long [babies should be nursed, replied: “The I same as short ones.” A fashion journal announces the fact that pockets have come into fashion just recently. At any rate they have undergone a severe course of reducing. An overseas contemporary states I that a man who was a saxophone j player was saved from drowning re--1 cently by his dog. And they call dogs | the friends of man! I A doctor says that the drinking water in Scotland is the purest in the world. This should tempt some of the inhabitants to taste it. A newspaper states that a chairman of a county council is being sued fobreach of promise. “Jack Point’’ understands that his defence is that ' his proposal was not seconded, i A cable announces that Sir Isaa: Newton’s library has been discovered after 200 years. At the same time an apple pip was found and the finders believe they are on the track of the apple that fell and hit Ike on the head. A new tenor is stated to have wonderfully liquid notes. “Jack Point” can only suppose he practises in his bath. A cable recently announced that Sir Arbuthnot Lane says that alcohol is better than meat. But pub-keepers will still have a dislike for men who chew their beer. Can anyone remember the time when, if a lady changed colour, she did it involuntarily? A famous scientist denies that sharks eat humans. Of course not. It’s the bather’s fault for getting in the road of the shark’s teeth. Books supplied as reading matter r.o hospitals are “invariably rubbish like Hansard.” What about it all you politicians.

So some more drunken motor drivers have lost their licenses. That’s a terrible punishment. It converts them into common pedestrians. A Wanganui East man calls his radio set a goods train. It whistles at every station. “Jack Point” noticed recently that the grocers have been condemning the time-payment system, and a contemporary reckons that the only reason why half the inhabitants of Wanganui don’t own elephants is becausethey’re not sold on T.P. An overseas contemporary states that radio is blamed for so much wet weather in England. Our cockies blame Mr Sidey for anything like that, but 2YA’s turn will come, I suppose.