COOKERY FOR MEN

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXXXIII, Issue 20005, 23 November 1927, Page 6

COOKERY FOR MEN

QUITE A SIMPLE MATTER HOLIDAY HINTS FOR HUSBANDS (By ROBERT MAGILL.) The Duchess of Atholl recently said that some husbands who are old public schoolboys know more about cooking than their wives, and she suggests that boys should be taught to help in the house like their sisters. Aly own impression is that any healthy lad could help as much in the house us his sister does nowadays, even if he never got out of bed at all. But uo matter. There is no doubt that every man ought to be able to cook in case of emergency, or when the family is away at the seaside. If our wives revolted, and refused to uo anything more for us, we should either die of shame by reason of the holes in our socks, or starve to death. True, we should sleep more comfortably, because the beds would never be made for us. As any man knows, it isn’t until he has pulled out all the sheets and blankets that these confounded women tuck right underneath that he can curl up without running the risk of being strangled. Now a woman learns to cook in the wrong way. She takes a little of this, and some of that, with a pinch of something else and so much of the other. There would also be a cupful of another ingredient, if she hadn’t forgotten it. Having mixed it, she pops it in the oven, glances at the serial, answers the door to the baker, makes up her mind which cinema to visit that evening, and has a chat with the woman next door, until she realises that something is burning, when she shrieks, cuts off the burnt part, and serves the rest to her husband, alleging that she herself isn’t hungry. There is nothing scientific about this, and she never studies the fundamental basis of the thing, as a man would. Secrets oflocking. The art of cooking consists of converting raw materials by the application of heat into a digestible and more palatable condition —or the cook hopes so, anyway. Before commencing, one needs various utensils, like a gas stove, several saucepans, an oven, a frying pan, a grill, a first-aid outfit for dealing with burns, and a large and commodious dustbin. Unless you have a pet ostrich with a good digestion, you must have somewhere to dispose of the evidences of your crime. The simplest form of cooking is boiling, which consists of putting some water in a saucepan, then something in the water, after which you leave it on the gas until it is either Dolled or else a loud report tells you the water has all evaporated and the bottom has come out of the saucepan. Eggs should be lowered gently into the water, as though you were teaching them to swim, and left there one minute. I am quite aware they have to boil for about three and a-half, but you will have such a trouble to get the things out of the water without scald-.

ing yourself that they will be hardboiled in the end. Matter of Choice. Potatoes should bo peeled before* being boiled, although experts tell us they are much more valuable, as food if you peel them afterwards, but at the same time I should like to see one of these experts holding a red-hot potato in one hand while he tries to undress it with the other. Personally, I use a safety razor. Otherwise I get more peel than potato. Put in a piece of salt about the size of of a piece of salt, an<i> remember they are not like eggs. The more you boil them the softer they become. The theory of roasting is to employ more calories at the outset, so as to coagulate the albumen on the surface. Then the connective tissues which unite the fibres are gradually converted into gelatine and rendered soluble. The fibrin ajiid; albumen in consequence undergo a higher oxidation, and the liquid fat unites with the tribasjc phosphate of sodium. But remember that the empyreumatic oils are unpalatable. I hope this is perfectly clear. I don’t want to have to refer to it again. We now come to frying. First catch your bloater, and handcuff the cat. Cover the bottom of the pan with some fat, and heat it until a blue smoke, rises. When it rises far enough it will tell everybody within miles what you’ve got for breakfast. Lay the victim carefully in this, at arm’s length. The fat by this time has reached a temperature of 40deg., and it may splash. When one side of the bloater is nice and brown, turn it over carefully, from the other side of the room, with a billiard cue. If you want to feel like a Christian martyr being boiled in oil, you can toss it like a pancake, but don’t be too vigorous, or it may adhere to the ceiling. Eggs arc a delicate operation. The trouble is not in breaking the egg. It’s in picking the eggshell out of the boiling fat, and scooping up the raw egg from the hearth, but a little practice will improve your marksmanship. When it is set, 1 believe there is some method of getting the egg out without breaking the yolk, but it seems to me that the only way would be to cut out the bottom of the pan with a chisel, and slide it on to the plate. But, like most men, I myself eat it from the frying-pan. The Colonel’s Omelette. With eggs one ean make omelettes, and quite nice people are proud of the mysterious messes they can produce under this disguise. My friend the colonel sometimes gives us a treat by concocting one. I mean that it’s a treat to watch him, providing you aren’t hungry. He commences by breaking eggs over his trousers until he’s got some of the contents into a basin, after which he borrows a fork and splashes most of it on to the floor. Meanwhile he has melted some butter in another basin, which blisters him when he touches it, and some flour, and some flavouring, like ham, onions, or anything that is handy. Another basin contains some milk. We have, no more basins for him to say with, and this rather cramps his I style, because otherwise he would have 1

more to knock down with his elbow when he gets excited. By and by he chivvies some of this mixture down his sleeve on its way to the frying-pan and says a short prayer in Hindustani. The result is a sort of elastic cinder is supposed to be enough for threaftpeople.- As a rule it is more than enough. You will have gathered by now t>at, when a man is left to cook for himself, the most important cooking utensils ho needs are a tin-opener and a corkscrew. Perhaps it is as well. If he really knew how to cook, his wife would probably make him do it all the time.