THE IMPOSSIBLE IN WAR TIME

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LXVI, Issue 7564, 7 May 1919, Page 8

THE IMPOSSIBLE IN WAR TIME

INCREDIBLE STGHTS THAT WE

HAVE SURVIVED

By O.R. As everyone- knows, a story or a jok? is all the better for being preserved and pickled in "Punch." When it has boen printed there five times people bein to laugh. A new jest has some thing shocking about it. 1 have seen fcinvo humourous things during this war which almost made me a casualty.

In 1916, as I itood outside the "War Office with a m:iior-general. I saw him .-tagger and clasp his head at the risk ft iinshinpins lii" brass hot . At I thought he had a new idea. One is liable to jump to the rashest concl'i--«ions when excited. On coming to my senses I perceived him pointing to something in Whitehall. "Do you see it, too, do you?" asked the major-general pitifully. "Is it--can it be?'' "It is quite, quite true," I whisper- <•('. as I led him away. We had both :-een a young subaltern walking hand in hand with a flapper! Their finge's were actually linked together! They j swung their arms happily. ' NOT FORBIDDEN. , They were unconscious bf their vhraniy. It was Hanipstead Heath on a Bank Holiday translated into the terras ',!" a King's officer, a Civil Service of seventeen, and the great war. I discovered afterwards that such conduct is not forbidden by Army orders. Oniy possible things are forbidden by regulations. This was impossible. To thb day my friend believes he has occasional hallucinations. It was in 1918 that I saw a hardy foot-slogger with all his gear, a rifle, a tin hat, and tho, D.C.M. ribbon, in a state of unmanly terror. He was vary -.trong, very broad, very brown, and !< eked fit to eat a trench of German:?. H^ had obviously never suffered from '•hell-shock or insanity, and there were no signs about him <,': delirium tj-oinens. He was going on leave by way of Enston, and proposed to take the tube from Charing Cross. It was there, when :;e came back to the escalator. On seeiug it he started back with every sign cf horror and ainaxement. Urged on uy many, including myself, for I was in a great hurry, he put his foot on t!m sfccp and jumped away. Then I;o scratched at it like a hen and said:--"What's the matter with these stairs?: J say, you fellows, are they moving or do I only think so?" Then some one said "Zero!" and smotber made a remark about blowing 'i j whistle, as his particular pal gave him ; a shove and cried : "Over the top with I yon !" He went down sitting, and »s j bo rolled off at tlu» bottom yellf'l: j '• What, did yon do in the great war. daddy?" "HI" But the most incredible thing during the war happened in the Strand in 1917. I. am glad my friend the maior-genei-il !V!is then in India. As T walked east J came up with two privates who seem-;] !•■ trifle "under the weather." Then mi i officer passed me and them. They both saw him, and when he got about half • dozen naro* in front one of them actually whistled to him ! The other man did worse. He shouted rtHi!" T stopped and gasped. Wlmt won' 1 the Avretched officer do? Would h<kill them? A German yfficer would. Wa« there an Army order about it r ' 1 At the very least he would nut th-'-n I, umW arro«t. They would o-et the O.R. i, or the 0.8. E. or something very bar! j to bear. I held my breath as the officer |, turned . Can anyone gues« what he did 9 Xo- 3 , TT.p came back and shook hands with ' them! ; Personally T likwl to Sfv it. T .-an even explain it. _ But could the officer , have explained It to a court-martiai ? j, In tho old days he would' not have h»<! to do scj, for the assembled court would J have, expired from apoplexy on hearing j the charge read. Even now this story j, must not be told to any officer QV?rj| sixty except by those who want Iris bi!- j" let/ • j.: