WRITING TO YOUR BEST GIRL.

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume LX, Issue 17063, 16 August 1917, Page 6

WRITING TO YOUR BEST GIRL.

HINTS BY A LOVE EXPERT,

Be careful how you address the person you are writing to. If to your wife, let it be "My Dearest Girl," or something of that kind. Never write "Dear Old Dutch," or "Dear Old Party." Don't use slang, such as "Dear Old Forf-and-Knife." Wives may put up with it, but they aren't keen on it.

If writing to someone else's wife, start "Dear Madam," or if this seems too stand-offish use invisible ink.

When writing to widows keep a copy of the letter and bind yourself to nothing.

When writing to your fiance, be fluent, and, above all, original. Don't look over the other fellow's shoulder to see what he calls his girl. Think out something for yourself. Be romantic. Be poetic.> Go dippy. Call her names—nice names. Call her your "Bird of Paradise," if she's fond of birds. If she's fond of Royalty call her "Queen of my Heart." If she's fond of poetry call her "I/adye Mine," or My Payre Ladye." If she's cracked on astronomy call her a moon or a star—"Moon of my World," or "Star of my Soul." You want to consider her tastes and fancies. Supposing she's fond of fruit, call her "Apple of my Eye," or. "My Perfect Little Prune," or "Peacherino Mine." If she's fond of cards, call her "My Queen of Hearts." If she's plump call her "My Little Partridge." 1/et the girl see you appreciate her. If, on the other hand, she's thin, anybody but a fathead would call her his "Graceful Lily Stem." Are you getting the idea? Be appropriate. If she's a negress address her "My Dusky Darling," or "Brunette o' Mine," or "Coon of my Soul," and so forth. They like it. They look forward to it. They can't be happy till they get it. Believe an old married man who has been through the mill. Don't be commonplace. Don't start with "Dere Maud," or "Deer Lizzie," or "Dorling Ann," or "Dearist Kate." Thai's wrong. No thrill in it.