BREVITIES.

Wanganui Chronicle, Volume XXXVIII, Issue 11951, 29 March 1894, Page 3

BREVITIES.

. » A Masterton resident is said to have been so much excited at the prospect of a pleasure trip to Australia, that hs forgot to take with him the brand new suit he had had made to be " toft " in, Such misfortunes as this call forth one's noblest sympathies. The Dunedin Star has this : A newspaper roporter down south told M'Nab M.U.R, that the only time he was tomptod to take a drink was when he had to repott temperanco speeches ! Phrenologist—" You have been married some years ? Patient (in surprise) — " By Goorgo ! That's true. How could you toll ? " Phrenologist—" Your bump of hope is a dent." In the Dunedin licensing elections, Mr. Fish, as an iudependeht candidate, being regarded by both parties as neither fish, fleah, nor fowl, was treated to cold shoulder, boing last on tho list. A Canterbury farmor calls one of his most pugnacious rams •' Oleomargarine" —because he is such a rank butter. Tho Wairarapa Star moralises aftor eating half a codlin moth grub as follows : — A man never realises what the codlin moth roally is until whon eating an apple he finds half a caterpillar writhing in agony near the core of tho fruit Jt is then, and not till then, that tho man asks himself where is the other half of the catorpilluri Makes you careful, doson't it ? Forty-throe doctors have recently cleared out o| Melbourne because of the hard-up condition of the people.

Thus an Exchange --The contrast between Tarauuki and Wanganui ip striking, Wanganui hns no breakwater but sends frozen meat direct to England; Tarnnaki has a breakwater yet sends her produce for the English market by rail to Wellington. We never accused the Wanganui people of having too much enterprise, or even common sense, as far as developing the capabilities of their port is concerned, but they are far ahead of their Taranaki rivals in that respect. Tho idea of tho Turannkirt expecting the Premier to dictate to tho agents of the steamer Gothic as to what freight the ship should or should not take is "too delicious for anything."