Odds and Eilds.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2098, 29 July 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Odds and Eilds.

Baby B

(DISHKAKTENED I.AUBEAT K.) Oh, Baby, Baby Battenberg, The Queen has said to me That I must take my trusty pen An write an ode to thee You little roly poly thing! You bald and toothless wight 1 Dost think a man can look on thee

And then a poem write ? Pve quit that sort of thing, and wish Your grandma’d let me be. Wlmte’er the public thinks of you, It's owed enough to me;

“ Old man, old man I for whom digg’at thou this grave?" 1 asked, as I walked along; For 1 saw in tlm heart of the noisy streets, A dark, and q busy, throng, 'Twas a strange, wild deed I—but a wilder wish Of the parted soul to lie Midst the troubled throng of living men, Who would pass him idly by 1 So 1 said, “ Old man, for whom digg’st thou this grave, In the heart of the noisy town And the deep-toned voice of the digger replied, “ We’re laying a gas-pipe down 1"

A Brussels manager has found an ingenious way of inducing the ladies who visit his theatre to divest themselves of their towering head-gear before proceeding to take their seats. A simple notice posted in the vestibule was sufficed to bring about this happy result. “ Only ladies of a certain age," it runs, " arc allowed to wear their bonnets in the body of the house," So far no lady has claimed the privilege attaching to a " certain age,” and the occupants of the hack benches can, in consequence, not only hear, but even see the play in the theatre without difficulty. The Parisian advocates discussed the delicate question, “ Has a husband a right to open his wife’s letters?” at a recent conference, and they decided that he has. A journal who has consulted several extra-legal luminaries on this point finds them, with a single exception, in substantial agreement with the lawyer’s. An “ enlightened priest,” whose name is not given, answered that the doctrine of the Church was that the husband is master in the house, and that he had, therefore, a perfect right to open his wife’s letters.

War. Lo ! where the giant on the mountain stands, His blood-red tresses deepening in the sun With death-shotglowing in his fiery bands, And eye that scorcheth all it glares upon. Restless it rolls, now fixed, and now, anon, Flashing afar—and, at bis iron feet, Destruction cowers to mark what deeds are done. Papilla, wedded to her amorous spark, Sighs for the shades—“ How charming is a park.” A park is purchased, but the fair be sees AH bathed in tears—“o I odious, odious, trees 1

The Court Journal states that considerable surprise is expressed at the small amount of money which Lord Iddesleigh has left behind him. That notwithstanding all the years be served his country be should only have been able to saveasum of £25,000 shows that Ministers of the Crown in England arc not overpaid. Lord Iddesleigb might, it is calculated, have trebled the amount of his personality if be had devoted himself to literature.

In the superior civil court at Boston a mother and her four children individually sued the landlord to recover sickness contracted because of the poor sanitary condition of the house, and in the care of the family during their sickness from diptheria. Damages in eacli case were awarded, the mother receiving £2(io, and the children respective amounts. This is aunique case, and is valuable as a precedent.

Ryghte joyfully ye cocke did crow, Andmerrye blewedde ye hornne, When Richarde dydde prepare to goe One Moonday in ye morne. He took a draffle of good aulde ale, No better ne'er was gotte ; As they does keepe ahvay on sale At ye sign of ye '• Flowerre Pot.”

She falls in love with a fellow Who swells with a foreign air ; Ho marries her for her money, She marries him for bis hair. One of the very best matches ; Both are well mated in life ; She got a fool for a husband, He got a fool for a wife,

He found a rope, and picked it up, And with it walked away ; It happened that to t’other end A horse was hitched, they say ; They found a tree and tied the rope linto a swinging limb ; It happened that the other end Was somehow hitch’d to him.

Said neighbor Joe to farmer John, • Ain’t you a silly dolt, sir, To spend such time and care upon A little, useless colt, sir ?” Said farmer John to neighbor Joe, “ I'll bring my little roan up, Not for tbe good he now can do, But will do when he's grown up,"

Titan ! thou sitt’st upon a shapeless throne, And broodest forth thy fantasies sublime, Alone, alone I Bird, that with mystic wing, hatchest old Time, Where synthesis, so soft and meek, Tinges the antithetic cheek ; Awake 1 Awake 1 Boldly to thee I cry For thou art 11

A novel advertising scheme has been introduced by a merchant in Carthage, U.S. A series of prodigious hoot tracks were painted leading from each side of the square to his establishment. The scheme worked to perfection, for everybody seemed curious to follow them to their destination.

The following is from a feuilletion publishing in the Tcmpx: -'A great tumult was heard near them. Emma was seized with emotion, and her heart throbbed within her. Mine. Gauge had thrown herself into the arms of a negro, who kissed her ardently. He wn* a* pale a» death !

Joseph O'Brien of Cleveland, savs that he once examined a swallow's nest in which were two young birds. Around the leg of one of them horsehair had been closely wound Mr. O'Brien removed the hair, and found tfiat tic leg had been broken. He thinks that this was a genuine case of bird surgery.

A dentist of patriotic disposition in a small town in Germany announced, through advertisement in the local press, that on the oecasion of the Emperor William’s birthday b« would extract teeth and supply false ones without any charge whatsoever.

It ifl Stated that the red-tape system is now so perfect in the British Boyal dockyards that if only the most trifling article be required by a foreman, no fewer than seventeen clerks are employed before the transaction can be completed.

This year s great autumn manoeuvres of the German Army are to take place in East Prussia and Pomerania, the Imperial head, quarters being at Konigsburg and at Stettin. jj he “® nfßUTers are to commence on Septem.