Candidates.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2095, 22 July 1887, Page 3

Candidates.

The following, extracted from ' Evening Praea ’ “ Cigarettes," it a Urge sermon writ ■nail:—

What, have yon airivaf at years of dircretjoo and not yet learnt that there are three protean oas whieh require no pi e?iou- study, or training, or experience, or natural aptitude, or special qualifications of any sort-except, perhaps the peculiarity of having tiled everything eiie and broken down at i; I No, which three profession- are those ! They moat be funny ones I Tney are indeed 1 The first is keeping a hotel I Haha I Yea, I believe yon my boy 1 Bather 1 Ton jnat try it I The second is, conducting a newspaper 1 Ho ho 1 Of eoane! Quite so ! Ar y blooming fool eu do that 1 Go on 1 Wnst's tha third ? The third ia, governing the country I Hi hi I That explains it all I I never thought of that before I Wall, yon torn it over in your mind, and yen'll And it ao ! At leaat. so my esteemed fcianda Tagng, Bobtail, Dnpher, Bottlewasher, Lopher and Co. seem to think I Tea, I’v* noticed that taking a general •laetion right through, tha candidates include a larger number ol the worst daw of men in tha country, that never come into prominence at any other time I What possible Mann can they have lor imagining the electon will have anything to gay to them ? They mistake notoriety for fame, impudence for courage, conceit for ambition, vulgarity for humour, blataney for eloquence, and ridicule for popularity—that's all I Oh, that a all, ia it ? lam glad to bear that 1 A mere trifling error I I was afraid then might pnatibly be something else betides that's the matter with them 1 As long aa the public don’t share their little mistake, it’s all tight I Tha pwbfae I Never fear I In nine easee oat of tan, the aleeton return the heat man »o get I And in the tenth, then’s flwmlly acme good naaou why the beat ■an a baatw 1 It's often hi* own fault, or hie arm founded injudicious friends I