Wairarapa Standard Published Tri-weekly, Price 1d. MONDAY, JULY 11, 1887. The Professional Patriot.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2090, 11 July 1887, Page 2

Wairarapa Standard Published Tri-weekly, Price Id. MONDAY, JULY 11, 1887. The Professional Patriot.

The Professional Patriot is generally born. Ho makes himself a Patriot . Ho frequently starts life at some honest occupation but early contracts a disease called Harkworkophobia. When ho once gets that be no longer pines after physical toil. The first plunge into public political life is most often as a public-house politician. In this capacity he tells his associates that they are a “ dowu-trqddeu race of worms,” and they prove it by paying for the liquor he consumes. The Professional Patriot’s creed is beautifully simple. Ho loathes everybody who is better ofl than himself. There are quite i large number of people better off than himself. Therefore he nates quite a large number of people. He soon blossoms into a World-Reformer. He essays to reform everything—but himself. Then he looks about for a nice genteel employment where the work is put out and the daily hash regular. He prefers the paid Secretaryship of some Working-men’s Organization where his brother “down-trodden worms” keep him in ease. Failing that he will take anything light. Perhaps some one puts him into a country newspaper. That fits him. If his is the only newspaper In the place he Will make it as Conservative as a mill horse. If not, he goes into business as the champion of

popular rights. He doesn’t know a great deal of the English language. He uses what he does know to tell the poor that the rich are grinding their faces. He is always shrieking that the country is going to Satan. There are, he declares, only two things thatrcan save Society—he and his paper. He screams this so long and so loudly that some people begin in time to think it may be so. Others who do not believe in him use him. Though intensely illiterate he has a tremendous stock of abuse on hand with which he bespatters everyone who differs from him. Clean men won’t fignt a chimney sweep in his working clothebecause they are sure to get black no matter who wins. Thus clean people leave our professional patriot alone. He makes capital out of that. Every time he is treated with silent contempt he mounts his midden and crows like all possessed. He instils into the minds of the employed that employers are their natural enemies. At the same time his own reputation as an employer is as high as a ten-day dead dog. He quarrels with everybody soone. - or later, but is shrewd enough not to quarrel with everybody at the same time. He talks so much about his independence, honesty, patriotism and the rest that some people who only look skin deep begin to believe in him. Unscrupulous Governments, formed of sham patriots, know the value of such a man. He stands in Parliament and honest but unwary men help him. Perhaps he gets in. Then his patriotism cools. In a session or two he begins to talk about the “ lower orders,” and the “ sacred rights of property.” Ho becomes a lobbyist. Still when he speaks he makes an occasional pretence of liberalism. If he is smart he will humbug his constituents for a good long time. Anyway he has learnt something valuable in lobbies. Your professional patriot Very often gets rich. Then he is known as a tyrannical employer and f>r his hatred to all people not so well ■if as himself. He may, however, grow oor. Then possibly he dies in a ouch and the only thing that suffers is—the ditch. If he dies wealthy he has a tombstone. That monument is decorated with the blazon of his virtues. His monument lies. It is in accord with the eternal fitness of things that it should lie. His whole life was a lie.

Tbe Band of Hope meets tonight. The swing bridge at Matarawa is at present not a bridge, because it is perfectly useless to tbe settlers. It is now time that tbe local bodies and the setters in the district be» stirred themselves io tbe direction of getting a suitable bridge constructed as soon as pos> sible, as much inconvenience is felt at tbe present state of affairs. It is understood that the warden has been instructed to take a poll on the matter. Mr Wood advertises a general sale at hU Carterton Booms for Saturday, 23rd July. A most peculiar disease it is reported is now prevailing amongst Mr J F Bussell's herd of cattle, in the Lower Valley, a growth something like ring worm appears just above the bool and in a few hours after tbe hoof of the animal completely falls off, and at tbe present time a number of tbe cattle are moling abont the paddocks hoofless. Mr J Bayliss, of Carterton, has been created a J.F. Mr Hogg has decided to stand for Masterton district. A Chinaman at Sydney has been fined LIOOO for smuggling tobacco, cigars, &0,, by a steamer from China. Detective McGrath has been transferred from Masterton to the Bay of Islands. Mr Buchanan addresses the electors at Car terton this evening and at Greytown tomorrow evening. Mr B. L. Leeks, who shortly intends to leave Clareville, has instructed MrF.H. Wood to hold an extensive unreeei ved sale on bis premises. The sale takes place on 86th July instant, and Mr Wood’s advertisement on tbe subject appears in another colnmn. Besides tbe two farms there are to he sold the whole of Mr Leek’s valuable furniture and household effects, also the horses, cows, drays, poultry, Ac., attached to bis homestead. Mrs Margaret Fishwiofc, wile of a carpenter, was drowned in a deep drain at Hokitika before assistance was procured. The football mate, Wellington v Masterton, played at Wellington on Saturday was a draw, neither side scoring. Masterton forwards played brilliantly. The Greytown Dramatic Clnb will give an entertainment at the Town Hall this evening. We hope there will be a good house. Tbe Waibenga Deviation at Petheriok's bridge is now nearly completed. Tbe Greytown Droids have re-elected their officers for the remaining half year. Some new members have been proposed and will be initiated nex. Lodge night. A fatal boat accident occurred at Eawerua, Hokianga. A boat containing five persons c.ipsized, and one, Alfred Jatvie, was drowned. Mr Wm Seed, who is retiring after 41 ys—a’ service, was presented on Friday with a bai -dsome silver salver and tea and coffee t rvice, by the officers of H.M. Customs iu lew Zealand. A second presentation of a service of plate, together with a bracelet for Mrs Seed, was made by the offioera of the General Government.

An Italian “ Imgee ” seller met with a warm reception at the hands of a disciple of St Crispin at Carterton on Saturday. The “ distinguished foreigner ” was exhibiting for sale some images which for price ud style did not «mt the “ Knight of tL-' capstone " and some words ensued, with the result that some boots and shoes were “ shied ”at the plaster of Paris models and much to ths mortifioalio and grief of toe Italian his wares were demolished. Some “ good Samaritans " came upon the seen and raised a subscription fur the image seller, by a shilling in the hat. The foreigner was much to blame for using anoomplimentary language to the shopkeeper, The friends of Mr Buuny are invited to form an election committee tomorrow evening at Ureytown. Owing to pressure upon our space this issue a quantity of oomspondenoe is held

A Yankee and a Frenchman owned n pip. When killing time came they wished to divide the meat. The Yankee was anxious to share so to get both hind quarters, and persuaded the Frenchman that the way to divide it was to cut it across the back. The Frenchman agreed, on condition that the Yankee would turn his back and lake the choice of pieces after it was cut m two. The Yankee turned his back accordingly. Frenchman : ” Vich will you have—ze piece vid /.> tail on, or ze piece vidout de fail on ?" Yankee ; “ The piece with the tail on.” frenchman : " Den, by gar, you can tak him, and 1 take ze ozer one ! Turning rouu the Yankee found that the Frenchman hac. cut ofi the tail and stuck it in the pig s mouth.

Bandbb <t Son’s Eucalypti Extract. Test its eminent powerlul effects in coughs,’ colds influenza i the relief is instantaneous. In serious oases and accidents of all kinds, be they wounds, barns, eoaldings, b uisc'. sains, it is the safest remedy—no swe ng —no inflammation. Like surprising effects produced in croup, diphtheria, bronchitis, in flammation of the lungs, swellings, etc ; diarrhoea, dysentery; diseases of the kidneys and urinary organs. In use at all hospitals and medical clinics ; patronised by His Majesty the King of Italy; crowned with medal and diploma at International Exbibition, Amsterdam. Trust in this approved article and reject all others.

Mr Oakly of Featherston hai undertaken | an agency for pianos. They are excellent | instruments and oan be obtained on re markably easy terms. Farther particulars will appear shortly by advertisement.

A Wise Deacon.—“ Deacon Wilder, I want yon'to tell me how you kept yourself and family so well the past season, when all the rest of us have been sick so much, and hare bad the doctors running to us *o often.” Brother Taylor, the answer is very easy. I used Hop Bitters in time, and ke| t my family well, and saved large doctor’s bills. Four shillings’ worth of it kept us all well and able to work all tbe time, and I will warrant it has cost yon and most ol tbe neighbors LlO to LIOO apiece to keep sick the same time. I ianoy you’ll take my medicine hereafter." See

We believe that if every one would use American Co’s Hop Bitters freely there wonld be mnch less sickness and misery in the world, and people are fast finding this out, whole families keeping well at a trifling cost by its use. We advise all to try it. Bead

The Lyttelton Times of the Ist July, has the following: In tbe absence of sufficient supplies—at a price—of prime Canterbury beef, several of the Christchurch and Lyttelton butchers have arranged for regular supplies from tbe Wsirarapa, from whence, it will be remembered, large quantities ol splendid beef, both dead and alive, were received last winter and spring. Cattle grazing seems to be neglected in Canterbury now a few graziers near Christchurch, and now on the Peninsula being almost the only vendors ol really well-fed cattle in the Christchurch market.

Mr F. H. Wood will sell at his Greytown rooms on Friday next, loth July, under instructions from tbe Official Assignee, working bullocks, yokes, chains, and effects in the estate of J. H. Fades, a debtor. There will also be combined with this sale a large general sale of groceries, furniture, clothing and numerous other lines. Both sales are on Friday at One o'clock.