Humor.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2070, 20 May 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Humor.

Pegging Away.

Ob, well I remember the clustering faces That in wonderment peered through (bo shoemaker’s door, When to sound of his whistle and tap of his hammer, He often regaled ns with bits of his lore, As often he’d say, with a nod that was knowin?, And a smile that was bright as the sweet summer day : “ I tell you what, lads, there's nothing worth having Bnt what you must get it by pegging away. “ Tou may run the swift race, and be counted the victor. And yet you but get there a step at a time ; And up the steep ladder where fame kec)iS her laurels, If you want to get one you must certainly climb. The world It is only a broad piece of leather ; We must shape It ourselves to our la“t ns we may, And we only can do it, my lads, as I tell you. By pressing and moulding and pegging away." Oh, the years have been long, and the shoemaker’s vanished ; Adown. the dark road we must journey alone; But often I think of the wisdom hid under His whimsical Jest and his fatherly tone. And often I’ve proved the truth of his saying, As misfortune and 1 together still stray. That all the best gifts the world has to offer. It only gives those who keep pegging away.

Bill Njc’s Budget.

BILL DECLINKS THE BULGARIAN THRONE. Sluterv Ki.mhuust, Hudson, W in.. Nov, 2~>. To the AVird Voirrr *, rare Lord hnry.— Gentlemen : Your fivor ol recent date regarding my acceptance of the Bulgarian throne, which is now vacant ami (• i rent, in which note you tender ni" the of said throne for one year, with the privilege of three, is at Land. You ah" state t L:,t the allied powers arc not favorable to Brio r Nicholas and that yon would a:l prcfei a dark horse. Looking on r the fntire list of obscure men, it would seem you have !>■ >-. i unable to fix upon a man who Las made a better showing in this line than 1 hare. While I thank you all for tins kind olb r of a throne that has, as you state, 1... newly fitted and n fami-lod throughout 1 must decline it for reasons which I will It to pivc in my rough. unpolished way. In the first place 1 read, in the dispatch- -■ to-day that Russia is mobilizing h> r 1 1 '" ~ and I do not want anythin? to do with a country that will treat its soldieis that way. Troops hare certain rights as well as those who have sought the pleasanter walks < { pence. That is not all. I do not cate to enter into a squabble in whieh I am not interested. Neither do I care to go to Bulgaria in the capacity of a carpet-bag monarch tr< in the ten-ccnt counter, wearing a boiler-iron overcoat by day and a stab-proof corset a: night. 1 have always been in favor of Bulgaria's selection of a monarch rim i« <i rnx populi. which ever you think would look best in print. I bate to sec a monarch in hot water ad the time and threatening to abdicate. Supposing he does abdicate, what go<xi will tbai do, when he leave* a widow with nothing but a second-hand throne and a crown two sizes too small for his successor! 1 have always said, and 1 still say, that nothing can be more pitiful than the of a lovely queen whose husband, in a wild frenxy of remorse, has abdicated himself. Nothing, I repeat, can be sadder than this picture of a deserted queen, left high and dry, without means, forced at last to go to the pawnbroker’s with a little plated, fluted crown with rabbit-skin car tabs on it.

We are prone to believe that a monarch baa nothing to do but to issue a ukase or a mandamus and that he will then have ah the funds be wants ; but aucb is not the ease. Lots of out most successful moaarchs an; liable to be overtaken any year by a long winter, and found as late as Christmas reigning in their summer sceptres. 1 am inclined also to hesitate about accpting the Bulgarian throne for another reason— I Jo not care to be deposed when I want to be doing something else. 1 have bad my do position taken several times and it did not look like me at cither time. I think that you monarebs ought to stand by each other more. If you would form a society of free and independent monarebs there in Europe, where you arc so plenty, you could have a good time and (every little while you could raise your salaries if you worked it right. Now you pull and haul each other all the time, aiid keep yourselves in hot water Jay and night. That's no way for a dynasty an more than any one else. It impairs yo usefulness and fills our telegraphic columi full of names that we cannot pronounce. Every little while we have to pay the operator at this end of the cable two pounds for writing in a rapid, flowing lhand that “meanwhile Russia will continue to disregard the acts of the Sobrapje." Why should a great country like Russia go about trying to make trouble with a lowpriced Sobranje? I think that a closer alliance of crowned heads, whose interests arc identical, would certainly relieve the monotony of a long, tedious reign. If I were to accept the throne of Bulgaria, which is not likely, so long as my good right arm can stil: jerk a fluent cross-cOt saw in the English tongue, I would form a syndicate of monarch*, with grips, passwords, explanations, and signals ; every sceptre would have a con - trallo whistle in the butt which could hj. used as a sign of distress, while the other <■ t.■ > would have a cork in it, and then steering tottering dynasty down through the dim vi-t a of crumbling centuries would not be as iiksome as it now is. As it is now, three or four allied pow< ■- ask a man to leave his business and squat i u a cold, hard throne for a mere pittance, and then just as be begins to let his whiskers grow and learns to dodge a big porcelain bomb, those same [rowers jump on top of him and ask him for his deposition. That is no way to treat an amateur monarch who i* trying to do right. If you want to rear your children to lore and respect the monarch industry, you must afford them better protection. I say this at a man who may not live to be over one hundred years of age, and with my feet thus settling into the boggy shores of lime, let mo beg of you, monarebs and monarchesses, to make your calling an honorable one. Teach your children and their children to respect the business by which their parent* earned their bread. Shew them that it is honorable to empire a country if they do it right. Teach them that to do right is better than to fraudcntly turn a jack from the bottom of pack. Teach them that it is better to be a popular straight out-and-out partisan king, who is sincere about it, than to be be a mugwump monarch who dares not leave hi* throne, night or day, for fear that somebody will put a number of bombs under it orcriticise him in the papers. I would like to empire Bulgaria tbi* winter first rate if I could get back in time to remove the counterpane from my asparagus bed. hut it would hardly pay me to do so. If Nicholas will do it,and doitat living rates, I would tell him to go ahead. H vou furnish reigning tools and palace, ho might to do it at three hundreds pounda a rear, or say four hundred pounds and And hitn-clf. Tours sincerely. RuX Nyk.