Ladies' Cloumn.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2070, 20 May 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Ladies' Cloumn.

Woman or Lady.

Not long since 1 was in a dressmaker s establishment, (writes a sensible contributor,)and in the conversation with the proprietor, she spoke of a difficulty she had recently with her “forelady.” The term sounded so utterly incongruous, the outcome of such a.senseless, silly pride, that I could hardly listen quietly. Yet a word of remonstrance would have been met, I doubt not, by the indignant assertion that the girl “ had as much right to bo called a lady as if she did not work for a living.” And so she had. Her individual personality had nothing to do with the matter. Her employer spoke of her in her business capacity only, and not at all in reference to her qualities of manner, mind, or heart. It is this silly affectation that renders women often ridiculous in the eyes of men. To them it seems an inherent weakness. Who over heard of a foicman in a shop or factory being offended because he was not called a foregentleman, and yet there is as much sense in the one as the other. No one ever thinks of saying a sales-gentleman, but the woman who stands behind the count or demands that she shall be named a sale-lady, or her feelings are injured beyond repair. I heard of one girl who left a good place, although she was really needy, because she heard her employer use the offensive suffix when speaking of her in reference to her work. That girl needed a little starving for the chance that an empty stomach might invite good sense. Of course I know that all women who occupy these positions are not so foolish, that there are those—and their number is increasing every day—who recognize the fact that they are business women, working women, and not society ladies, and that they must claim nothing during working hours, or in connection with their employment, beyond the courtesy that men and women should use towards each other under all circumstances. Business is business, and the moment a woman enters its arena, she must divest herself of all thoughts of caste, grades or social distinctions of any kind, so far as that is concerned. Her position is measured by what she is worth in shillings and pence to her employer, just as that of a man is, and the sooner she recognizes that fact the better for her happiness and success. The question of whether she is or is not a “lady” docs not enter into the matter. That is reserved for the sociil and home circles to decide. I think the majority of business and working women will agree with me when they go over the ground carefully, even though they have been sticklers for the term “ lady ” instead of “ woman." Take the dictionary delinition of the former word. It means First. —A woman who looks after a family ; a mistress ; the female head of a household. Second. —A woman of social distinction or position, etc. Third—A woman of gentle and reliued manners.

Fourth—A wife or a spouse. Not one of those meanings can enter, except in a limited way, into the business parts of our lives. “Gentle and refined manners,” will have their influence anywhere, but they will not save one of yon from failure if you lack die necessary <(ualilieations for your position, i have seen women successful in their undertakings who were anything save “gentle and refined,” but they were industrious, prompt, willing to oblige, and what they had to do was well done. It would be far more dignified and selfrespecting for working women to throw away these affectations, and call things by their proper names, as men do. There is no disgrace in working. That, only'comes in when you are ashamed of it. No one lives hut would ho glad to ho placed in such easy circumstances that labor would not he compulsory, hut it is tho small minority who are so fortunate, and any attempt to wear tho lino feathers that belong to them would bo worse than useless. It deceives no one. Do not misunderstand me, you who insist upon being called saleslady' and forelady. It is not the desire to bo considered a ‘‘ lady ” to which I am objecting, hut tho false pride that pushed the appellation whore it does not belong. No doubt this pride grows out of the prejudice, of which there are still many remnants,which taught that a woman who went out from the home circle and worked in the world as men do, nnsexed herself. Nor has labor yet been freed from reproach, -as it will not he, so long as those who do it act as if ashamed of tho fact. As a people we boast, of our independence from the caste prcjudieics of the old world, and yet nowhere is there greater effort to draw tho lines of social demarcation. They got terribly crossed, it is true, because in so many cases there is neither rhyme nor reason in their starting. We have no servants such as they have in Europe, who feel an honest pride of place, and of the confidence rested in them. Hero they become lady-helps ready to fly into ten thousand pieces if it should bo hinted that they are not on a social equality with their mistress. They have not a particle of self-respect which dignifies their position, no matter how lowly it may bo, nor do they understand that selfassertion, with absolutely nothing behind it, is of no avail. 1 do not expect to have any influence with ignorance and vanity, but 1 do want to beg ray sister women of intelligence and good sense, both in and out of the field of labor to use their influence to put down these absurd affectations. To be a true woman under all circumstances is a far nobler thing than to bo a “ lady ” in its common, if abused acceptation. The one implies all that is good and admirable; the other an extraneous gloss, which may or may not cover a weak and dishonest character. The lieu Like Her.

Who Joes not rejoice in the modern old maid !■ She is round and jolly, two dimples in her cheeks, and has a laugh as musical as a bobolink's song. Sho wears nicely lilted drosses, and becoming little ornaments about her throat, and captivating knots and bows. She goes to concerts, parties, suppers, lectures and matinees, and she doesn't go alone. She carries a dainty parasol, and wears killing bonnets, and has live poets and philosophers in her train. In fact, the modern old maid is as good as the modern young maid ; sho has sense and conversation as well as dimples and curves, and she has a bank book and dividends. And the men like her—and why not i

11l the midst of a stormy discussion, a gentleman rose to settle (be matter in dispute. Wavimr his hands majestically, he he.-an (Ontlemen. all I want is common sense. '■ Kxaelly.” interrupted one of them, >’ that is precisely what you do ward."