Miscellaneous.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2032, 18 February 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Miscellaneous.

Healthy Occupations. The first place araon}; healthy occupations is held lay ministers of rclieioi). She ili-alli rate of this class being r>ss. Next we have "ardeneis and nurserymen, who stand at • farmers and "ra/iers, ayricnßural laborers, 7ul; schoolmasters 7IS; the ,-iher trades which follow closely on these hi iny ttrocers. coa! merchants,pajrei manniacHnci--. lace and hosiery inanntacturcrs. wha.-l-wriitins, sliip Imi/doi-s and slnnwiiL'lits and coal min ns. The lieura of mortality for all these I miles is under 777>. t>n the other side, that of the unhealthy oecupatiims. the tir.-t place is held hj the trades which arc concerned in the manufacture and distribution of imoxieatin.2 dritih. which as is well Known, entail many temptations to use it to ,:-Ni-c- a . The list of unhealthy occupations is head.-,! by the class of inn and Imt-i servan s, who-e figure, mounts up to A'.-o.'o IH-in;x nearly double that of the medical profession. 'I lf highest places next to them are hcul i y the general laborers in I.on.ion. and b\ e termonyers, hawkers and itrc-t, sellers, tieformer class with I’.otto. an I the latter with l,S7t>, 11 is prutjsbie t hat botoaie- I o rvr. -1 y made up of broken men. the wrecks of other cailincs. Innkecpeis. publicans. spin), wine and beer dealcts follow with a tiyureoi l o'-’l and brewers with 1 Hill. In tup-port .-t 11 • 1 ■ belief that these hiph rates r.-f morlaltly are chiefly due to alcoholic excess, I) r . Ode lias compared with them fli« m-.naldy as-iv’m d to diseases of the liver, the tnt-oii-.di which such excess ehiclty declares itself, and has obtained results which are entirely in harmony with those of the trade returns. Next to*the trades concern,-d with alcohol, the highest rates are furnished hy occupations, which involve the breathing of dust —other than coal dust— nmlcspecially of a sharp and gritty charucler, or largely comp.snl of mineral matter-, next, those in which (here is exposure to lead pois-iniug. as with plumbers, pnintcis and filomakcrs. The earthenware manufacturers, who are much expos,,] to mineral dust, have a figure of 1.71'J; tilemakers, wdio work upon a lea-ion cushion, reach 1.1U17, and plumbers and painters, who arc also exposed to lead, reacu 1. 11 1?.

The Misanthropist.

He lived like a hermit, dak-like in his gilded shell of a mansion, and said lie was a misanthropist. He devoted ids eiilne lime lo|glooiny forebodings', and was never*.happy as"when drawing gruesome comparisons between the times that were and the tine s ( hal arc. He would pinch a cent, deprive himself of tire common necessities ol - die, and preach sermons on the subject of economy to the veriest beggar who applied at ids area door for food. Across the way lived a little widow, whose solo delight in life was lobring up her only child —a sweet little girl—asasnnkcnni. The misanthropist detested the child, her plow and warmth, her red chei l.s, re,and limbs. Her merry laughter was saw-teelh to his cars ; and her appearance of a bright summer morn when the, sun shone brigh.tc-1. when the birds sang sweetest, and when the sky was bluest, was an eyesore to him as lie drew Ids dingy curtains apart and looked forth from his cheerless room upon the loveliness of nature in her gayest robes. Sonic men begrudge human kin the light of supreme bliss because the sung, the light and gaiety are choked out of their natures by the weeds of misanthrophy. This was the sort of a man my hermil-likc Crab was. lie hated to see a single human being enjoy life, because he had tasted of the sour. The cup may have been of Ins own brewing ; the misanthropist’s generally is. Hay after day the gloomy man sat in Ins dull room, brooding on days gone away back into the dusty musty past. Hay after day he conjured black nights of woe and shadows of despair as be chewed the cud of discontent and advertised himself to the world as abater of mankind, a genuine specimen of the real misanthropist and— V :< * * * II *

A grand transformation scene has taken place. The misanthropist lias gone away. He is here, yet not here. From the windows the cobwebs have been dusted. The green grass has been cleared away from the area steps and the milkman flirts with the rosycheeked waiting-maid through the bars u£ the gate. The little widow lives in the grand mansion : the owner of tbc mansion is daily trying to win the widow's lassie to call him “papa” and—another misanthropist’s frail structure goes to smash ; and another mystery remains unsolved. The late Marquis of Waterford, among numerous accomplishments, excelled as a boxer, and of his aptitude in this art he was justly proud. He never picked bis men ; be used to light coalheavers, dustmen, hodmen, fellowship pond's, and others of that ilk. and then gave them a Hank of England plaster, amt if he ever was caught napping and met a superior bruiser, great was bis superior's reward. But sometimes an insolent jarvey obtained all the thrashing anti no reward, as the following anecdote will show: —The marquis on one occasion hailed a cab rather early in the morning, anil directed (bo cabman to drive him to St. James’s Square, the residence of his uncle, the Archbishop of Armagh. When ho arrived at his destination he handed the cabman half-a-sovereign, but cabby, in the most insolent manner, demanded more. “All right,” said the marquis, and slipping into the house by means of a latch-kev. ho quickly donned his uncle’s episcopal robes and, returning to flic door, quietly asked what tbc cabman required. The jarvey. not recognising the marquis, and thinking to frighten the clerical swell, gave him some choice Billingsgate, whereupon his lordship in his new character knocked cabby down. Amused at the idea of having to fight a parson, cabby sprang up and went for bis man in good style; but tbc sham prelate foiled every blow, and returned his deliveries with such vigor that at last the cabman, thoroughly beaten, and believing that be had the devil in lawn sleeves for an opponent, jumped up on his cab, and was glad to ” book it,”

A IVatchniukcr's Epitaph.

As one of the furiosities of Literatim' 1 connected with watches, wc may cite the followin'.’, which can be seen in the churchyard at Lydford, Devonshire, Knglaml ! Here lies in a horizontal position The outside case of (1 corse lomtlcdge, Watchmaker. Inlegiity was the main sjirinfj and prudence the rcenlator of all the actions of his life ; Humane, generous, and liberal, His hand never stopped till he had relieved distress ; So nicely regulated were his movements that he never went v,T"n;, Kxccpt when set a-going by people who did not know his key ; Kvcn then he was easily set right again. He had the ail of disposing of his lime so well That his hours glided away in one continued round of plea-mie, Till in an unlucky moment his pulse stopped beatine. He ran down Nov. 11, Iso), need ”7. In holies of beim: taken in band bv his Maker, Thoroimhty c leaned, repaired, wound up, and sed a-going In the woild to come, when time shall be no more." It is probable that the young lady v. ho aspires to bo admitted la tie' ranks ol the le-eal profe-sion does n<d reflect that the gratification of her ambilinn would only mat-'' her a bar-mai i.