Humor.

Wairarapa Standard, Volume XX, Issue 2026, 4 February 1887, Page 2 (Supplement)

Humor.

A I>ar:«ly t'oi.'i Notwithstanding tit-' fact of i.i'-i a ; a eondderable portion <'t Hath la l n* - ;autl'UrP adage tliat ••there is a sucker born every hour.” urn; p triton of large communities is kept pretty tolerably busy inventing new devices and schemes for d< Handing the public on winch they live. Some burnt children dread the fire and otiters do not, but It. is alwavs safer to pprin; a now dodge or .-lory for fear that the intended victim might have encountered one of the old swindles that arc now only lit fer service in the far back block-. If’half the ingenuity tlau is expended t ’a eouteiener cases and tbeiving tools was pat to legitimate invention, the labor t-aving machines of the world would lie dimnlcd. and the scamps would g< ‘ lieb by btncliting humanity instead of worsting it. One of the very latest swindling toils iias reached this city through the agency of a pleasant faced, gentlemanly young fellow, who is an artist in his bn-tne-s, but has committed the error of giving Ins ‘’snap away for too small a price. Saloons are ins favoihe operating rooms, and not a few ot the astute (ianymedis who mash mint »n 1 mix imperial punches have hie n landed for small amounts through betting agatn-t his game, A newspaper reporter oirsert'd the landing of a tietfuil of victims > in- line morning, and will unfold for tin; benefit ot liis fellow men who are liable to im taler, in by the same operation if not forewarned. The phasanf faced, gent l-mao.;. Ya ng stranger heretofore nietit.oiled walk” i in'" one of the most swell and magnili -ent drinking palaces and called for a p .neo. When the concoction was completed hj« raised it to his lips at tin- saute time that lie tessed a crown on the bar in payment. Tim Coin toil like the hmikof lead that it was. and the sound produced by its contact with the bar was as list as the ketchug of a frog in striking the water. The sound attracted the attention of two or three of the young man s neighbors, and they eyed him wi’h suae curiosity, as if wondering what sort of a verdant It” was to attempt to pass such a coin. The hat keeper simply g-anced at it and -miled. and waited for lie stranger to produce a sub-litutc. Tim crown piece did look disreputable, and no mistake. It was battered and bruised, had a (dug in one corner, and lit” milling about the edges was in n slate of sad decay, while a ided to all tiiis was a color that betokened it to be lead Irom Leadville, and no mi-take.

•• What is the matter .’ ’ a-ked tho patron of iho house and proprietor id the <pieer piece of bogus. The cronel laughed and (he barkeeper suggested that another coin be snbMHutch

■'Oil. that’s it. is it?"' iv>ponded the geiit.emanly yoan. r man. pf-tending to cxamlii' the date on his iinuitory protl’er. “Well, don’t you know that I am eiad you refns '0 it; that crown is worth live times its face value to anybody tii.it lias got conmion sense.”

Two or three of the parly ea-t a ln.,k a I the date and then laughed again. “ Why. you are fooiish. young man.” said one of them pityingly, "As money, a hush. 1 basket full of (hose thin > v.-ouid not 1..worth one ha!f( enny. I dough! ,T 11;.! that it might have an old liate, hut ii it was coined while Noah was about in the ark d would not be worth more than it v, Inch is

simply nothing.” With this the barkeeper Hi impeded give the young man some kirn! .-elviee to (he effect that he ha 1 better not make any more attempts (o pass (hedizzy thing, or he Would he liable to arrest, " That's ail light, gi nt!■ men : I’ll bit any of you T5 that that coin is worth live lime-, its lace value, jn-t to show yon that 1 know wh.it I am about.’’ On. we don’t want iiiotiey,'' put in the hark leper ; “ i l l -; pay hg ,uat dtink and say nothing m : ■ 1 • Very well, sir. I'll pay m on lor the diiek wit it any sort < [ money you lilou hut won yon grow wiser yon will 0, s nv tlu i ■...,

did not lake year payim nl ..at , . that worthy. but niba-.d coin. ’ an J witii tin- the owner of tlie violation of the ].,«• nt, counterfeits produced a walirt fairlv l.et-i----ing with its board ot Ii;;.-, are! gold. a, 1 ..1 passed over a half sovereign for llv t . i .■ h j. Tile sight of Ills v, calf hj caught Ibe. i. .a.! at once, and two of lliem imn.cdhit 1\- . . to accept tin; bel lie lei 1 ju--..., .■ vv seconds before. The young t. !.■. icmmided to hesitate, and then !r-;i■l ■ d that they should give him o ids m ll;e wag.-r. ••Very wed. since y.,i me • . d or a liumb-niatisl, 1 will give a eli.,iiv f. your money. I will bet t'.'i .tli tin,; ih.M coin is ind worth 1 1 to 1.. any one ~vn>; yourself. (If fours, , y.m eaa ii a !.■ n,. bulge. of its wort'll, a- you are I. Hie;; mi it.” “Weil, tiial is fair, ail’n. veil I vo i.M j i ■ f.r In apprise the lalue of my own I will lake yo'.ir way i and lea.en to ari» eoiniiioti feu-e Jiian Ilia! vmi in,.t 1 loin.” del me. to •. • a ll; 1 n:e Imv- ad., i j another of i;ie party, an 1 an M h.r an 1 ■!. . j ano'i’cr. 1 'the i oiaee man :i. i ail Ihj ..• i■ !- a: i It it< ii c.l’ier. i to wager in • baii, -i i> -r oi.nk. for :!• ■ p:uly mi la ■ n : dl. Tl. ■ d..rd. j miser a.e j.,ed. and po d ap .PJ -n l. e . i. i was vailed fr. eu the other mi 1 ..f ;he lit t,i j lvdd ill - staines an i ael ns r. fcr.v, I’.'V' j inoue . once dep --lied and toe t. nn- . f ;h ■ I bet explained. t!;e half tipsy air leal I:," ! young ledow la'.d earn'd sal only .Inao[lea red. ami wilh his peiiki.il ■I ■ eai a ;.i pri -d tin- e. in apan . Ti.. i,v , halve- -i Pi like ill ■ e.t -e of a watch, an i i a I was a little excavate.n e a;e.i;i r; ■; s : . daily genuine s .vereign. lie- i.a i . |.iSed over the stains with, at a w. .1, !. barkeeper mad.- a idud at a s- ..; seemed inor ■of a conn!.) f - I li.m i er.e.vn piece. The Hire 1 y.e.n - n: on bet lied in seaiv'n of fresh air, T. • • man < juietly folde 1 up h;s e..in. t . .. drink, remarked lhat n was a o, ■ - . and walked out, leaviiee a til : : , . black uh'Oiii behind him. The liar was teiiine sen;" ~i . in the smoking-car how lu- w.i- a contractor during (tie Amc- :im t •, one occasion he walked in .Vino p will) pasted sol. “ Was Urn! jisl before - eOl i Ih.li It . I ’ oucri.'d a fartner-h. ■ k 1 11 e man on a - -at n or by. 1 believe it was,'’ The farmer pull- .i .of an ol.t ■ Ii , • and cxliilkied a liu nion a> be; a ■ 1,. - li-;. I go! a pair yonr.-dm, hj - saei. i, stood tip. “and they made I hjs oani.oi ant lame I me up so that I vas eij.l nr.-1 and spent six months in An.lM-oimlli'. stianeM. prepare to git the darnede-i .;rkiny ..;i this earl li." The liar had to admit len! he was .-niv sixteen years old when the war ch.s,.,|. uu ,j to furnish the bunion man with a eie.it.

Moses Isaac Swift.— * ll,f •' f"'< :) N.ov, mine vhcu: here vc arc. all so nice and new—/boo t v t' youvantfora g ...t eferyday peesness sun and lor dress occasions ven von de oner. in oc cfcuinL r . ‘ 1 Voter /mv, ■„(•,); Phcwl \\ Jjai trie dcMl HKikcs a >tiul ilial tsav ’ U«ly died in that! .'Ws Isaac Mwilf l„, u „l| u , IK ■ u , hj iotiful suit, vtc.i J makes nut n.i„ (; „ Wll h.i.i.s anl geciis m lafender— and m nn.n s:.v,- ii shiiul.sj F,-, ( |,.-r \l„ . , ‘ rli.l . c l.r lif ~xb.:i-icncJdls IV\\ 7 shmelk UvUl