THE WITNESS SCORED.

Waipawa Mail, Volume XXXVII, Issue 7917, 11 August 1917, Page 3 (Supplement)

THE WITNESS SCORED.

During a certain case in court a witness was being sharply cross-examined, but on one occasion he proved a match to his questioner. “Now, be very careful how you answer ! It has been stated that the ac cus-ed was alone in the room when you entered-. Was that so?" “No, lie wa?n’t!” replied the witness promptly. “Ah ! Now we are getting on".—er—will you please tell the jury who was with him?” “Why, I was, of course!” ALL FOR NOTHING. A woman entered a Chicago savings bank and placed 50 dollars in front of the teller. He pushed out the l>ook for her signature and <sn-id : “Sign oil tin’s line, please.” “Me whole name?” “Yes, ma’am.” “No, just as it is now.” “Before Ci was married?” “An’ me husband's name, too? May the saints rise him in glory!” “You should sign your name Mrs., followed by your husband’s name; or Mrs., your Christian name and then your husband’s name; or Mrs., and your husband’s full name; or, you might simply sign your Christian name and your husband’s surname. Write it as von are in the habit of signing it." “Oi can’t wroite." CLEVER CHILD. “You can’t eat your cake and have “Well. ma. if I want rake to look at there’s plenty in the baker’s window.” The class had been studying the wind all week —its power, effects, etc., until the subject had been -pretty well exhausted. To stimulate interest, the teacher said, in her most enthusiastic manner:— “Children, as I came to school to-dnv in the tramear the door opened and something came softly in and kisfced me on the cheek. What do you think 't And the children joyfully answered, “ The conductor!” Visitor: How dees the land lie out this way?” Native: “It ain’t, th? land that lies; I it’s the land agents.”