TWISTED QUOTATIONS.

Waipawa Mail, Volume XXXVI, Issue 7752, 22 July 1916, Page 4 (Supplement)

TWISTED QUOTATIONS.

HOOD’S EFFORT BAD TO BEAT. A hook which society is reading with avidity at present i.s “The Journals ol Lady Knightlcy of Fans'?y," who during her life “knew everybody who vn anybcMy.” as the saying goes. Funnily enough ooe of the very owl stories of quick repartee is told ;igainst this witty lady’s “ hubby,” lift Reginald K nigh they, who was very proud of his “claims of long descent, and fond of telling people how liis ancestors came over .with the Conqueroi, if not a bit before. He was riding his favourite liobbr one night in a mixed compa.iy, which included Sir William Hnreourt, and that witty statesman was heard i sav, in a stage whisper:— “And Knightlev to th? listening earth Repeats the story of his birth," thus very slightly parodying a wte known coup’et from the only hymn Addison ever wrote Sir William was rather given to iD sort of tlrng. It is a matter of history how he wont 01 tlu* cru>:e to Cope* hag.’ii in one of the late Sir Dobw Cuirrie’s boats with Gladstone p.m Tennyson, when the Danish Royal Family, including our own Qucn Alexandra, then Princess of Wales, came on hoard, and the Laureate read “Maud” w tl* cabin. Next morning Tennyson, pcilmK unable to sleep, came on deck at M unearthly hour and found Sir YViliia® already there. 1 ogether they sat, l'- 1 ' dozing. ;ind enjoying a smoke, :i third mcmh?r of tin* party joffll thine. Sir William sent Ins c-onipml ia.is into a roar of laughter by ing from Tennyson: “The early pipe of birds.” I But nobody lias ever beaten Hood® record. He and other cronies M'B spent, tin* evening with Ca I wrote “Hohonlinden” and “ Vo ers of England.” The hmivate ot W Navy lighted his departing guot>MH to the hauling of liis lodgings andslj>J leaning over the banisters till t* l ® should have landed safely. M Suddenly Hood’s foot slipped he went to the bottom and landed th? mat. “Who’s that?” cried Campbell, W alarm. “J, sir, rolling rapidly," was the l ® ntnnt reply, and that remains and® likely to remain a record for (inick/l 11 ® tation twisting io meet the occasion® “Morning, sir! Yes, sir. sir? Shave, sir?” sang out fheciwM get ic barber. ■ “Shave, please,” said the gentle l "®® seating himself in a chair. in rather a hurry.” “Quite so, sir,” went on ant, lathering the customer s l>iid? myself on my qu'ck nict.iM^B Then he brought his razor ntion. A few lightning stroke first blood was drawn. “Sorry, sir,” apologised ln p scrnpvig away and making gnslic and there till the operation last oonc!lick’d : “ '.vaiit anytime vour face, sir?” “Well." remarked the customer, lv surveying himself in the be obliged if you’d leave my now* ■