Telephonic Verities.

Waipawa Mail, Volume XVII, Issue 2978, 3 October 1893, Page 2

Telephonic Verities.

Pukanui : Is that you, Cocky wax? How’s the New Zealand Mail? Cockywax : The organ is still the wouder of the colony. But I am still i a gentleman, don’t forget that. Pukanui: I crave your pardon. Did you Baa my defence of you asaiost the ribaldries of Ivo. He said you did not know French. Cockywax : I saw your remarks. They were witty, and learned, an 1 genteel, and not personal. You never are personal* You did not, however, call him an infidel and a blasphemer often enough. The News is very high-toned now. How does Hocen manage to keep your great talents in check ? Pukanui : You also are learned, and good, and genteol, and witty, and various other things that I fail to recall at present, therefore aßk me not of Hocen. As for Ivo, I did not want to appear too orthodox, you know, because like you, and in yoor wise and gentlemanly manner, I also have worked t! e candid inquirer f»ke Cockywax : I was so glad you defended me, because I could not have done it for myself. And then it wa9 so good of you to repeat Ivo’s attacks, because that enabled many of those who hid not previously seeo them to find where he exactly nad mo. Had you held your hand many people in Napier would not have known that I had been attacked at all. It was so good of yru to repair that defect. Pukanui : I knew you would love me more for it. That is why I also directed attention to the Mail’s disbelief in the high qualities of your noble and polished nature. I knew that although you were a scholar, and a genthmm, and had snch a knowledge of French and French literature tliot the late Monsieur Taine could not hope to compare with you, and that although you were full of resource, and originulity, and that you were the only clever fellow in the colouy besides rryself, yon could not defend yourself against tbo Mail, so I had a chip in. And, as you say, that enabled me to draw more attention to the fact that you had been attacked. Cockywax : True, and as the learned pcop'e s iy—after looking into a book of quotations—we regard the misfortunes of our friends with something akin to pleasure. We who are gentlemen also bate to think that anybody else can door think auything at all. That is why you doubted ray ability to reply to the Mail. Bat do uot forget my gentility, aud my French, and my university tnition in ihe science of how many beans make five. Aleo» remember the great gulf that separates even yon, gentleman as you are, from n) o ' Adieu, thou great and good man. The next time I am thrashed don’t forget

to let tbo fact be known as widely ai possible. Pukanui : Farewell, thou world’s won der—next to me—farewell.