FUN AND FANCY.

Waipawa Mail, Volume IX, Issue 881, 16 January 1886, Page 4

FUN AND FANCY.

iVIIM tllill motion. There is a clock at Brussells which comes about as near being a perpetual motion machine as can be invented, for the sun does the winding. A shaft exposed to the solar rays causes an up-draught of air which sets a fan in motion. The fan actuates mechanism which raises the weigh of the clock until it reaches the top, and then puts a break on the fan until the weight has gone down a little, when the fan is again liberated and proceeds to act. as before. As long as the sun shines frequently enough, and the machinery does not wear out, the clock is practically a perpetual motion machine. t t'liinesa* Opinion of a Watch. A Chinaman purchased a watch from one of our leading jewelers a few weeks since. Yesterday afternoon Mr Wun Lung walked into the jewelry store and calmly laid the watch on the showcase. Jeweler : “ What’s the matter, Wun ?” Wun Lung : “ Watchee no goodee.” Jeweler : “ What ails it ?” Wun Lung : “ No goode—too mucliee 1: /me bye.”—New York Journal. W liat C viiic* dia.v of Women. Tjie funny man and the cynical writer can always find something witty and sharp to say about women, collectively ; in other words, he always shoots forth his sallies at hong range. Here are a few of their generalisations : Bidu, one of the reputed seven sages, said “ whether women be handsome or not does not signify. If they arc ugly they turn one’s stomach ; if they arc lovely they turn one's head.” The Italian proverb puts it : Lazy, if tall, Cross-grained, if small ; If handsome, vain, Shocking, if plain. On being asked why age improves a man’s good looks and impairs those of a woman, an Eastern philosopher replied : —“ That arises from the fact that niaD was made of earth, which improves the longer it lies fallow ; whereas woman was made of flesh, which is liable to decay and corruption.” Montaigne said he would not be a woman for then lie could not love her. And Lady Montague remarked that the only objection she had to be a man was that she should then have to marry a woman. And an old bachelor wrote : ’Twixt women and wine, man's lot is to smart; ’Tis wine makes his head ache, and women his heart. A modem wit defines the difference between men and women, “ A man gives forty cents for a twenty-five cent thing lie wants, and a woman gives twenty-live cents for a forty cent thing she does not want.” Women arc born, so fate declares To smooth our lineu and our cares : And ’tis but just, for by my troth, They’re very apt to ruflle both. the -iCitrfiff .llan. Man to Governor of Arkansas—“ I have , captured Jackson, the murderer.” Governor—“ Are you sure lie is the man ?’* Man—“ I know it, and I have conic to ; claim the reward.” ( Governor—“ There is no reward.” Man—“ Well, come to think of it, he 1 ain’t the right man.” —Arkansaiv Traveler. t BuaineMM Kutt-rpa iMO j Customer (seating himself in a barber’s chair) —“ Fine weather we are having.” t Barber—“ Yes, sah.” ’Customer—“ Feels a little like rain.” 1 Barber—“ Scuse me, sah, but de boss t doan ’low us to ’gage in conversation c durin’ business lioualis.”— Drake's Tra- \ vclcrs' Magazine. E A Pleasant Mlon 1 Amateur Artist (to a friend) —“ I was s showing Joues my new picture this morn- L ing. lie was very much struck with it. v lie got quite enthusiastic, and gave it un- 1 qualified praise* Y r ou know Jones, of s course. What do you think of him ?” V'’ Friend—“ Jones is one of the kindest- J hearted and best-natured men I ever met.” t [Drake’s Traveler’s Magazine. Cajit. Wilson'o Exiierience. j Capt. Wilson was courting the Widow M Bangs, when he suddenly looked at his watch and seized his hat preparatory to a departing. u

“ Don’t go yet, Captain,” said the widow sweetly ; “ Its going to rain. Listen how it thunders” “ Oh, I don’t mind thunder,” replied the Captain. “ I’ve been married three times.”—[Newman Independent.