THE CHESTNUT TREE

Waikato Independent, Volume XXXIII, Issue 3045, 29 August 1933, Page 7

THE CHESTNUT TREE

Professional Insight. First Doctor: I operated on him for appendicitis. (Second Doctor: What was the matte.: with him? * * * At Last. Wife: We must pay our laundry bill this week; they sent up a stiff letter tins morning. Hubby: Oh, did they? Well, they can wait. It’s about time they sent us something stiff. ** ' * Very Sporting. A lady with her young son was walking through a crowded toy department of a big store. “How would the little lad like a game of ludo?” asked the shop-walker,-' with an eye to business. “I-le’d be delighted, if it’s not taking up too much of your time,” replied the lady, beaming. * * * Work Spoiled. Two Jews were standing at a street corner with a certain air of expectation. Presently a fire engine dashed bv, whereupon the men exchanged significant glances. Shortly afterwards another fire engine passed, and then another, and at the passing of each there was a further interchange of meaning looks between the two men.

After a short interval a salvage catsped past. Turning to his companion, one of the .Tews roared: “Confound the fellows! Vy can’t dey mind their own bithnith?” * * * Not So Easy. A certain doctor charged 7/6 for the first visit and 5/- for subsequent oues. A new patient thought he would save 2/6, so he said when going into the consulting-room: “Good morning, doctor; here I am again!” The doctor looked at him and said: “Oh, yes; you are going on all right. Take the same .treatment as before.” * * * * On the Right Lines. At a lecture the speaker orated fervently: “He drove straight to nis goal. He looked neither to the right nor to the left, but pressed forward, moved by a definite purpose. Neither friend nor foe could delay him nor turn him from his course. All who crossed his path did so at their own peril. What would f you call such a man?” “A tram driver,” said a man in the audience.

He Had Not Forgotten. The Husband (looking for sympathy): Since I married I’ve been through a good bit, I can tell you. The Old Flame: Yes; your wife’s entire fortune, they toll me. # * * Suspicious. The widow bent industriously over her wash-tub. She was listening to the conversation of a male friend, who presently turned the conversation to matrimony, winding up with a proposal of marriage. “Are ye sure ye sighed the widow, as she paused in her work. The man vowed he did. Then there was silence, when the lady raised her head from bending over the tub, to say: “Bill, you ain’t lost yer job, ’ave yer?” * * * New Victims. “Old Ivriowall boasts that everybody in the village knows him,” said Grinisi, on to his friend, “but I told him there were quite a number who had never heard of him.” His friend smiled. “H’m,” he replied, “I bet that took down his pride a peg or two, didn’t it?” “Not a bit,” said Grimston. “He asked me for their names and addresses. and then went off to find them and try to borrow something from them.” * * * Asked For. Little Mr Smith heard a new riddle at the office that day, and lie thought it rather good. On his way home he decided to try it on his wife. As soon as he got inside the door he commenced. “Why,” he asked her, “why am I liko a mule?” His wife gave him a withering glance. “I don’t know,” she replied. “I know you are, but I don’t know why.”